Official dx thoughts

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I was reading the other thread and I was thinking about my situation. I've had numerous therapists tell me I have AS and stuff. I had people recently in my apartment complex ask me randomly if I was already diagnosed (including the lady with AS herself), and this is from them just observing my behavior... (The older lady says I'm just like her AS grandson and the lady with Asperger's told me to her it's obvious I have it too) All online tests put me in aspie range and I was given RAADS and AQ test by a therapist that said she's pretty sure I have it. I had such bad social skills as a kid they gave me therapy. I have special interests and meltdowns, etc...

But I still doubt because I don't have the "official" dx. I don't have this because my financial situation. But I probably don't "need" one because my dx of bipolar/borderline/anxiety gets me benefits already. All an "official" dx would do would be to satisfy curiosity... Oh and my anxiety disorder gives me anxiety about it too lol.

It's not a good feeling...

Bipolar is probably correct because I have cycles in my moods and even psychosis when the mania gets bad enough. Borderline I have doubts about, maybe some traits that look like it... But I don't self-harm. I was told by one person I needed the borderline dx to get DBT therapy, but I don't seem to be able to remember to practice the DBT skills very well not do they help with meltdowns. I usually meltdown due to bad thoughts but today I had a sensory issue in a noisy store, in front of people... Acting like that I don't think I would hold a job very well.

I do have a question, I was told by the lady with AS that if the meltdown is more directed at another person it sounds more like borderline than autism is that true? I sometimes get frustrated at my husband, but at other things too.

I have black and white thinking toward people depending on if they do good or bad things... I can't seem to see the gray as it were... Like my husband... He's done good things and crappy things and how I view him seems to depend on if he's just done a good or crappy thing, but HE was dxed with Borderline too and I think the only reason we stay together is abandonment issues, especially him.

Impulsive yes very! Unstable emotions... Yes, they change almost constantly!

Not long ago, I've had someone with Borderline tell me they see the Borderline in me too also! The AS lady said the same thing about AS... Maybe I just mirror whoever I'm around lol!