Describing experiences to NTs

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I posted a few days ago that one of the people that I like to be around suggested that we publish some of our e-mails and even got the ok from a publisher that it was a good idea - anyway, we have been thinking of other things to put in the book and I was thinking that giving people ideas of what some of the unusual experiences we feel might be good - I mean, not just describing them, but suggesting either ways to experience them or things that are VERY similar that NTs have experienced . . . now, this is difficult, though, because we are not NTs and they are not us . . . but we have all observed NTs and there are some lurking on this board, so they might be able to help . . .

Also, KIDS I'm really interested in your descriptions, too, because you have the great advantage that you haven't been told for 20+ years things like 'if you keep talking like that you might have to go in the hospital and you don't want that, do you?' like my parents did . . . so you are likely to have a better handle on some of these experiences than we adults do since you haven't been taught to supress them at all, or at least not for as long . . .

Here are terms I'm particularly interested in - but add whatever you want on:
meltdowns
stim (why do we do it)
synethesia
overload
what a real obcession feels like

I got to thinking about this today when I was listening to cicadas while I was mowing and thinking that the noise they make looks like kelly green with little yellow swirls in it - I thought that an NT could experience this by specifically listening to a noise and and trying to picture the colors the noise brought to mind . . .

Speaking of obcessions - my air has been running for a little under an hour now and I'm getting worried . . . it is still cold and is a new air conditioner, but you never know . . . and it is hot outside and I'd have to take my animals to a motel if it breaks and . . . stim, stim, stim, stim . . .

Well I suppose I should give this a try

meltdowns - Today I'm pretty good about meltdowns, I had my last one about 2 years ago. When I was much younger, my meltdowns were often dependent upon the envirnoment I was in. I recall the horrible summer of 1987, and my disasterous school year of 1987/88. During that summer I was crammed into the YMCA daycare program with people up to about 13 years old. The environment was not conducive to me being around all those different people of different ages. People noticed that I was different and I was quickly targeted for bulling and harrasment. It caused my tolereance of things to drop way down. I would have extreme reactions to even a mild negative stimulus. I felt as if no one was understanding me, and the only outlet I felt I had to relieve myself with was to go up to a door or wall and slam my forehead against it. The same situation prevaled in my second grade year at school. I thought my teacher was a witch, and the same reactions continued. Third grade I pulled a complete 180 behavior wise. I liked my teacher, I was with tolerant students, and I did much better, although I still had my moments.

stim (why do we do it) - I stim becasue I get a sense of wellness from it. After I've stimmed, I get a sense of euphoria. The stimulation gives me a sense of comfort. I'll lay on my bed and run my legs back and forth across the sheets, or I'll run them up and down the wall. If I can't do something with my legs, I'll do something with arms, or I'll rock back and forth. I also do verbal stimming. I'm currently on a three note sequence. F,F, & D. And the D has to be really loud too. Another thing I did in the past was to put my head down on my desk during study hall, and tap my forehead up against the surface of the desk.

synethesia - I've never noticed this in any way

overload - Overloads cause me to feel fatigued and if they get bad enough, I'll shut down until the overload goes away. The big three for me are

- Bright sunlight
- Loud high pitched noised
- The feel of certain types of clothes (If I can feel a shirt tag, I rip it out)

If I can put a stop to a certain overload, My mind focuses on nothing but stopping that overload, and it won't go back until the overload is gone.

what a real obcession feels like - My obsession is to become a TV cameraman, an obsession I've already partilly fullfilled since I do it part time for our local cable tv company. I've always been drawn to electronic things, and for me, the video camera was the perfect path for me. When I get the chance I jump to do something if I can be behind the camera since it's what I truely love. I'll scour the internet, read books, catalogs, looking up everything I can about TV cameras, how they work, how they interface with things in the studio, the technology that makes them work. ETC. If I'm in the mood, I can spend six or seven hours online looking up things about cameras. I live cameras, I sleep cameras, I dream cameras. Eventually I'd like to become a director. Since I'm a visual thinker, this would be a perfect course for me to follow since a director has to plan out what he wants his cameras shooting.

I hope this helps you out.

Meltdowns: Loss of control in the way that your body involuntarily moves or you involuntarily say something.
Stim (why do we do it): Cures boredom and it could be fun. Takes our minds off of other things that we don't necessarily want to think about.
Overload: Chaos! The world seems to move quickly in front of your eyes and there is nothing you could do to predict when it will happen or what will cause it at any given moment.
What a real obsession feels like: Not being able to think of anything else other than something pertaining to the topic you are interested in. If you go to think of something else, you may incorporate your obsession into this situation.

You can get the NTs to put a load of drawing pins on the floor of a room, cover the floor with a sheet, blindfold them, and get them to walk across the room.

That would repreresent the struggle that we go through every day as we... Aw screw it- I'm just suggesting this cause I thought it would be fun to watch!

I think maybe marbles or golf balls might be more fun to watch . . . or maybe a bunch of different things just to make it interesting . . .

Thanks for all the descriptions so far!

Stims: I do them a lot. If I'm worked up about something then it's really something I must do. It's like sneezing. There's an overwhelming urge to do it whether I really want to or not and it really does not care to be ignored.
It gives me a lot of comfort and it calms and destresses me. I no longer bother to stop them in public if I notice them. My comfort is more important to me than some stranger's opinion. I don't have to live with the stranger; I do have to live with me and that isn't easy if I'm overwhelmed. [/i]

Meltdowns: Stress, when things don't go the way I planned, my routine being messed with (I always go downtown to the library on Thursdays, so I really don't like to have to do important things on Thursdays unless if they're downtown), things being different from what I'm used to, people who give me a hard time or pick on me

Overloads--loud noises that I have no control over, such as my downstairs neighbor's stereo. He likes nothing better than to sit outside on his porch, smoke, and turn up that damned stereo. He listens to classic rock. I can also hear nearly every word he and the neighbor girl say. But if they know I'm home, they try to be quiet. He and I used to get into a lot of fights over his stereo, especially when I first moved into my apartment and before I got put on Zoloft. He's learned to quiet down a little, and that makes me happy. He's usually quiet around 9:00 at night, thank heaven.
I'm highly sound-sensitive. Sometimes my toilet makes a peculiar "gushing" noise and that drives me nuts, too. Reflushing the toilet helps. I also don't like incessant tapping noises.
Don't get me wrong, I love music, I just don't want to hear music from OUTSIDE the house!! ! Especially music I'm not particularly interested in listening to! (I don't like music past 1976.)

I have never "stimmed" within my memory.

My current obsession is working on my DVD collection; I am three shy of owning 50 DVDs.

I wish we had a special slap to get ignorant people to better understand what we go through. Just slap them lightly (or hard if you're dealing with a real jackass) on the side of the cheek, and BOOM! They suddenly are autistic... for a little while, anyway. Sounds like a Twilight Zone episode, doesn't it?

The same goes for not only Asperger's but many other conditions... you know Alcoholism, yes? A lot of people taunt an alcoholic with beer and mock him cruelly, saying "it's easy, just don't drink!" But if you've ever had to go through that or know someone well who has, it AIN'T that easy. FAR from it. To belittle and to trivialize such enduring suffering is nothing short of disrespectful, dishonorable, and cruel.

It can be hard to know what one feels if one does not know where one fits in. I can't really say I am an NT or say that I am autistic. I have traits of autism... I have traits of NT.
So I do not know how to share as I do not know where I stand. But I know who I am and I am a person of sorts! Haha. Yes. I'm a person. A human being. I am me.

But how do I describe me? I am me even though to relate to others in a way to make sense to them may be too difficult to do. But I am still me.

When I know where I stand, then I will know where I am. This then will in turn reveal to me how I can share with others in a way that they can understand.