A supervisor shouting at me caused meltdown in work

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sharkattack2
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15 Sep 2019, 6:29 am

A supervisor in another department next to mine whet into a shouting and roaring rant at me on Friday over something very very minor.

I asked him to claim down and then I cannot fully really remember by replies.
My own supervisor came on the scene at he started ranting at him that I was being smart and disrespectful to a supervisor and that he could bring me up to management for not speaking to him with respect.

Now Aspergers or not everybody could see this guy was well out of line.
A couple of hours later he was in an area in which I was working and I when to confront him to tell never do that to me again but yet again he when into a screaming rant.
I have seen this guy fly into screaming rants at other people too.

My own supervisor says I should let it go.

Here is my problem I do not hid my diagnosis and my job hired me well aware of my Aspergers and I have actually got promoted in this job.

One thing that Aspies have a bad reputation for is telling the teacher but I am thinking this guy was the one who was on the verge of telling tales to management about me.

I am in two minds at the moment do I go back tomorrow and just trying forget this or do I raise it with management that this guys uncontrolled loud rant in full view of other staff caused me a meltdown.

Like I said I don't like to rat on people but he put this on the table not me.

Things were pretty quite as it was not that busy for the rest of the day lucky enough but I was in a daze for a few hours.

Can I afford to let this go?



JimSpark
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15 Sep 2019, 7:00 am

That's a difficult situation you're in. I assume you want to keep the job and not quit over this incident, so my advice would be to address it with your Human Resources (HR) department, for these 2 reasons:

1. He shouted and ranted at you, and he's shouted and ranted at others before, so this seems like a pattern. That is not appropriate behavior at any job anywhere, it causes distraction and/or distress to all other employees who witness his behavior. He will likely shout and rant at you or someone else again if he's not reprimanded or put on notice. One caveat: focus only on what YOUR interactions with this supervisor have been. Don't mention how he's ranted at others before, as that might distract the HR person from your true reason for reporting your concern.

2. You have told your employer about your Asperger's, so you should feel more than entitled to mention to Human Resources (HR) how his behavior specifically caused you some problems.

However, my answer would be "don't say anything to HR about it" if, in your replies to that supervisor, you did or said anything that others might view as inappropriate, because you might cause problems for yourself in the process. Since you said you didn't remember exactly what you said, you might want to ask one of your sympathetic coworkers if they better recall what you said or did, before you make your decision whether to report it or let it go.

In any case, I wish you best of luck in dealing with this tricky situation.


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sharkattack2
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15 Sep 2019, 7:27 am

Thanks for your reply as regards what I said to him he said I was being smart a VERY subjective idea in reality I was in shock.



Amity
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15 Sep 2019, 11:52 am

Do I recall rightly that you are in Ireland? I am, I would play it safe if it were me.
Maybe speak with your supervisor again to ask advice on what to do should it happen again.
I would hesitate to take it to HR.
You dont know how much cronyism could be going on in the background.



sharkattack2
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15 Sep 2019, 12:10 pm

Yes I am in Ireland you are too?

That seems like good advice.



Amity
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15 Sep 2019, 1:15 pm

Yup, in Ireland too.
If you have a secure job it's worth being cautious about how you can deal with this, but definately not worth taking abuse for.

Make a written record of these two events with as much detail as possible, and if it happens again, then consider if it would be of benefit to take this to HR/management.
If you can find out subtly if this supervisor is connected to anyone else in work in the meantime that could also be helpful.



sharkattack2
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15 Sep 2019, 1:50 pm

Thanks for the advice staying as low key as possible makes sense.

How is your life treating you?



ToughDiamond
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15 Sep 2019, 2:15 pm

I agree it might be best to let it go for now and see how the dust settles. Hopefully the guy has noticed that he put himself in rather a vulnerable position, wide open to a counter-attack. I'd probably write down a blow-by-blow account of what happened (just for future ammunition if he gives you any more trouble), and keep it to myself. I appreciate that you won't be able to remember everything that happened and that some of it will be a bit of a blur, but it doesn't have to be perfect as long as there's nothing in there that's factually incorrect. The advantage of letting it go is that your own manager will likely see you as being reasonable about it, so that if there's any more trouble you'll be able to argue that against your better judgement you've cut the guy some generous slack already but now you feel that enough is enough and you want something doing about it. It's usually an advantage to be able to show that you've tried to be nice about an issue when it first happened. It's a great shame that jerks like that bloke are left at large when they clearly have anger management issues, making life a misery for others and losing productivity - there's no good reason to yell at anybody in a workplace, even if a manager has to bring disciplinary proceedings against a bad worker, it can be done with dignity and respect. Well done for not taking it lying down. The more often people stand up to him, the more likely it is that he'll see that he's in the wrong and can't get away with it forever.



Justin101
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15 Sep 2019, 2:17 pm

Oh, you are a very lucky person!! If you play this right you're due for a nice payout and an extra long holiday.

Where possible, instigate further outbursts from him (subtly). Record him. Most mobile phones have this capacity. Keep a diary noting how it's effecting you. See a doctor as well. Have a friend/colleague write a witness statement (the more the better).

Then when you have enough evidence, sue him/the company.

Any subsequent attempt to fire you is unfair dismissal.



Amity
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15 Sep 2019, 2:51 pm

sharkattack2 wrote:
Thanks for the advice staying as low key as possible makes sense.

How is your life treating you?

No bother at all Sharkattack.

Life is the finest really, I could complain, but what would be the point of that!
Great bit of weather friday and yesterday, hope you got out to enjoy it!



Amity
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15 Sep 2019, 2:53 pm

Justin101 wrote:
Oh, you are a very lucky person!! If you play this right you're due for a nice payout and an extra long holiday.

Where possible, instigate further outbursts from him (subtly). Record him. Most mobile phones have this capacity. Keep a diary noting how it's effecting you. See a doctor as well. Have a friend/colleague write a witness statement (the more the better).

Then when you have enough evidence, sue him/the company.

Any subsequent attempt to fire you is unfair dismissal.

Seems to me that requires skill in manipulation.



Amity
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15 Sep 2019, 2:55 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
I agree it might be best to let it go for now and see how the dust settles. Hopefully the guy has noticed that he put himself in rather a vulnerable position, wide open to a counter-attack. I'd probably write down a blow-by-blow account of what happened (just for future ammunition if he gives you any more trouble), and keep it to myself. I appreciate that you won't be able to remember everything that happened and that some of it will be a bit of a blur, but it doesn't have to be perfect as long as there's nothing in there that's factually incorrect. The advantage of letting it go is that your own manager will likely see you as being reasonable about it, so that if there's any more trouble you'll be able to argue that against your better judgement you've cut the guy some generous slack already but now you feel that enough is enough and you want something doing about it. It's usually an advantage to be able to show that you've tried to be nice about an issue when it first happened. It's a great shame that jerks like that bloke are left at large when they clearly have anger management issues, making life a misery for others and losing productivity - there's no good reason to yell at anybody in a workplace, even if a manager has to bring disciplinary proceedings against a bad worker, it can be done with dignity and respect. Well done for not taking it lying down. The more often people stand up to him, the more likely it is that he'll see that he's in the wrong and can't get away with it forever.

I always like your advise ToughDiamond



Justin101
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15 Sep 2019, 3:13 pm

Amity wrote:
Justin101 wrote:
Oh, you are a very lucky person!! If you play this right you're due for a nice payout and an extra long holiday.

Where possible, instigate further outbursts from him (subtly). Record him. Most mobile phones have this capacity. Keep a diary noting how it's effecting you. See a doctor as well. Have a friend/colleague write a witness statement (the more the better).

Then when you have enough evidence, sue him/the company.

Any subsequent attempt to fire you is unfair dismissal.

Seems to me that requires skill in manipulation.


I guess you could see it that way but it's how society functions. If he's as bad as you indicated then it wouldn't require any instigation either, just record the loudmouth and go from there.

The law exists for a reason but it won't hold your hand.



sharkattack2
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15 Sep 2019, 4:28 pm

Thanks everyone for the great replies they have helped me put this into perspective.

As regards looking for a payout nah that is not my style.
Other people on the spectrum are growing up and with enter the workforce and the last thing I want to do is give ASD a bad rap for employers.

Having ASD a lot of the stress I suffer is self inflicted by my own anxiety I worry way too much.



sharkattack2
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16 Sep 2019, 10:09 am

Just an update on this went into work today and the supervisor was out sick with stress and depression. :roll:

I found out he had an even more serious blow up with another member of staff on Friday that happened some time after mine.

I had a great day today. :lol:

Thanks for all the advice by the way.