Thoughts on heartlessaspergers.com?

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I didn't know the site (heartlessaspergers.com) existed until I saw it on here, but I've been reading through the site and I'm trying to pinpoint exactly why people have an issue with it?

To me, it seems like neurotypical people detailing the issues they face when dating/married to someone with autism.
Surely, NT's face difficulties when they come into contact with autistics the same way we face difficulties when dealing with NT's.

I agree it seems a bit aggressive to call people with ASD "heartless", but I feel like a lot of us *do* have trouble with empathy, or at the very least EXPRESSING the empathy we feel.

If someone could fill me in on the issues people have with the content of the site, i'd appreciate it.

The main issue, frankly, is the assertion that people with Asperger's have no "empathy," and are "cold, heartless, analytical" sorts of people with no feelings.

The above is a gross generalization. It's a bunch of hooey, if you ask me.....

The main issue I see with it is that they're taking anecdotal experiences they've had and from them, smearing everyone with aspergers as being the same, ie being incapable of having empathy and not caring about others' needs.

If it was just a support site for people having difficulties with their partner who has aspergers, that'd be fine. If they were saying "well, my partner has no empathy, doesn't care about my needs, etc", that's one thing, but to insinuate that all people with aspergers are the same in that respect just because your partner is cold and uncaring is neither fair, nor accurate.

I guess it's quite a blanket statement from the site as it does make it seem like ALL people on the spectrum are like clones with no empathy, however, a lot of us *are* analytical and come across "heartless" to a lot of people.

I can understand the resentment people have towards the site as it does seem to portray a lot of what it says as fact when in fact it is not.

I do feel as though the site is presenting this information with a degree of disgust and disdain, though.

Perhaps I fail to understand a lot of the resentment the site gets because I have very little care for what people think or say about me, even if it is incorrect.

Maybe if I keep reading i'll start to feel the same as most people feel about the site, on here.

Just because one is analytical, and enjoys logic-----doesn't mean that the person is heartless and uncaring. And lacks empathy.

I'm not very analytical, and I enjoy logic----though to rely solely on logic would be a grave mistake.

I am probably more "artistic" than "scientific," even though I am on the Spectrum.

I don't really care all that much about how people view me. I'm used to being scorned for who I am; it's something that's become an inevitability. But I'm beyond really caring all that much about it.

I just feel the Heartless website misrepresents Spectrum people----and is just a bunch of rants. I wish us Spectrum people wouldn't assume, based on the content of that website, that all NT's feel the way these people do about people on the Spectrum.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 06 Sep 2019, 9:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

There is also the issue that everything is all about the non-Aspie partner and his or her ambitions, dreams, feelings, goals, and peace-of-mind -- nothing about how the Aspie partner feels.

Oh, that's right ... we don't have feelings! How stupid of me to forget that ...

I think the site is solely dedicated to partners of autistics, though. I can't say I see much of a problem with that as there are plenty of spaces for us to speak about how we feel.

We don't, do we? I know I don't.

There are some people on the Spectrum who believe in being separate from NT's because they feel NT's automatically scorn them.

I would say most people on WP don't fit that category.

I feel like the Heartlessaspergers site is taken too seriously by some people here.

I believe the Heartlessaspergers site should be relegated to the status of sites such as 4Chan and 8Chan---sites merely for people to rant on about crap--and which have little to do with what's really going on in the world.

My thoughts? I think this basically shows my thoughts:



And that's all I have to say for now.

It should probably be edited so that it is actually factual. The only thing that bothers me about it is that it is incorrect. We've known people on the spectrum can possess empathy for a while now, have we not?

People on the Spectrum are human beings---enough said.

Heartlessaspergers is just a garbage site. It should not be taken seriously. It should be ignored. It's kept alive because people take it too seriously.

On websites like WP, people are allowed to express their feelings and opinions -- people from both sides of the issue. On echo-chamber websites like HLA, however, people with dissenting opinions are quickly banned for posting things like "I can't say I see much of a problem with that" in reference to Aspie behavior.

It's a website, not a forum. As far as I can see, at least.

It's human nature to feel threatened and attacked when you find out your issues can cause trauma in other people and cause hurt feelings. This isn't an autism thing, it's a human thing and even people with other disorders will feel the same way when they see their condition being attacked. It's natural to get defensive. That is why people get defensive when they find out someone had been taking behind their backs about their behavior so they treat that person as a bully than just apologizing to clear up any misunderstanding and making amends. My husband says it has to do with emotions getting in the way so people are too hurt to see it from your perspective to make amends. People would rather blame the hurting feelings on the other person and I don't know if this is a generation thing.

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There is a structural hierarchy to sites like HLA and WP:

• Posts are in threads

• Threads are in subforums

• Subforums are in forums

• Forums are on websites

• Websites are on the Internet

Also:

• Echo Chambers are places in the real world and on the Internet where only one ideology is allowed to be expressed, and where dissenting opinions (and the people who express them) are made to go away.

• Safe Spaces are places in the real world and on the Internet where a variety of ideologies and dissenting opinions are encouraged, except when such expressions are harmful, inciteful, or just plain mean.

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