Can you pass for NT? (with / without co-occurring ADHD)

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Choose the pair of sentences that are BOTH true for you:
- I'm autistic with co-occurring ADHD. I can pass for NT. 22%  22%  [ 10 ]
- I'm autistic with co-occurring ADHD. I can't help but look weird (or at least very geeky, or otherwise very odd). 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
- I'm autistic without co-occurring ADHD. I can pass for NT. 30%  30%  [ 14 ]
- I'm autistic without co-occurring ADHD. I can't help but look weird (or at least very geeky, or otherwise very odd). 13%  13%  [ 6 ]
- I'm autistic and suspect co-occurring ADHD but I'm not sure. I can pass for NT. 20%  20%  [ 9 ]
- I'm autistic and suspect co-occurring ADHD but I'm not sure. I can't help but look weird (or at least very geeky, or otherwise very odd). 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
- Other (e.g. I'm NT but curious to see the results) 2%  2%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 46

Mona Pereth
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06 Sep 2019, 2:31 am

I'm wondering how the presence or absence of co-occurring ADHD correlates with an autistic person's ability to pass for NT.

See also the separate poll/thread How you feel about autism (with / without co-occurring ADHD).


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aquafelix
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06 Sep 2019, 2:42 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
I'm wondering how the presence or absence of co-occurring ADHD correlates with an autistic person's ability to pass for NT.

See also the separate poll/thread How you feel about autism (with / without co-occurring ADHD).


Hi Mona, I like your posts on the ASD/ADHD combo. I have thought similar questions myself, but hadn't considered posting on this. Thanks for raising the questions, I'm interested to see what everyone else has to say.



nouse
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06 Sep 2019, 2:48 am

Less likely so. Just more weird.

Let's look at it like this: both are mild, both are severe, one is mild and the other one is severe or anything between.

When we talk about co morbidity we are talking about even larger variety. Hence I think if you can not be diagnosed with one we should just use scales of symptomatic severity.


I have been diagnosed with two diagnosis that cancel each other according to criteria. Combined version
of those two might match my behavioral symptoms (I have determined the cause of not being autism spectrum but still people judge by surface symptoms).



Magna
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06 Sep 2019, 8:48 am

I suspect ADHD but haven't been formerly diagnosed. Passing for NT depends on the length of time I'm interacting with someone. I can pass for NT in short routine service related interactions such as the bank, grocery store, etc. I can also pass when exchanging brief pleasantries with a person. Anything longer and where more communication is involved, the lack of eye contact becomes a factor and I think I start to give off 'the vibe'....



kraftiekortie
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06 Sep 2019, 9:00 am

I'm not officially diagnosed with ADHD----but I'm 99.99 percent sure I have some form of it.

I can pass for NT at first glance----but once people get to know me, it's evident that I'm pretty "odd." People usually seem irritated with me, usually, when they first meet me. But once they understand me a little better, they tend to like me better.



The Grand Inquisitor
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06 Sep 2019, 9:43 am

I don't know whether I can pass for NT or not. Probably sometimes in shorter interactions I guess, but probably not if the person gets to know me reasonably well, or if it's someone I interact with often.

I know that I can be spotted as ND sometimes though. If I had to guess, probably more often than not, I can't pass for NT, or at very least, I would come off as quirky or awkward.



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06 Sep 2019, 9:44 am

I don't know whether I can pass for NT or not. Probably sometimes in shorter interactions I guess, but probably not if the person gets to know me reasonably well, or if it's someone I interact with often.

I know that I can be spotted as ND sometimes though. If I had to guess, probably more often than not, I can't pass for NT, or at very least, I would come off as quirky or awkward.



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06 Sep 2019, 10:02 am

Magna wrote:
I suspect ADHD but haven't been formerly diagnosed. Passing for NT depends on the length of time I'm interacting with someone. I can pass for NT in short routine service related interactions such as the bank, grocery store, etc. I can also pass when exchanging brief pleasantries with a person.

At the bank or grocery store, no one cares, you're just a customer. Also, most people are polite enough to exchange brief pleasantries even if you seem a little weird (as long you don't outright scare them). It's hard to tell if you're really passing for NT in these contexts, where it doesn't really even matter in the first place.

Magna wrote:
Anything longer and where more communication is involved, the lack of eye contact becomes a factor and I think I start to give off 'the vibe'....

And "Anything longer and where more communication is involved" is where the difference actually matters.


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Mona Pereth
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06 Sep 2019, 10:09 am

nouse wrote:
Less likely so. Just more weird.

Let's look at it like this: both are mild, both are severe, one is mild and the other one is severe or anything between.

When we talk about co morbidity we are talking about even larger variety.

There's also the question of whether these conditions may cancel out some of each other's advantages and disadvantages, and, if so, whether that may affect one's ability to pass as NT.


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Magna
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06 Sep 2019, 10:37 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Magna wrote:
I suspect ADHD but haven't been formerly diagnosed. Passing for NT depends on the length of time I'm interacting with someone. I can pass for NT in short routine service related interactions such as the bank, grocery store, etc. I can also pass when exchanging brief pleasantries with a person.

At the bank or grocery store, no one cares, you're just a customer. Also, most people are polite enough to exchange brief pleasantries even if you seem a little weird (as long you don't outright scare them). It's hard to tell if you're really passing for NT in these contexts, where it doesn't really even matter in the first place.

Magna wrote:
Anything longer and where more communication is involved, the lack of eye contact becomes a factor and I think I start to give off 'the vibe'....

And "Anything longer and where more communication is involved" is where the difference actually matters.


I agree with everything you've said.

I like the idea of this thread, but it's also under the premise the most NTs are actually judging people to be either NT or ND; people don't think in those terms. If we could equally ask: "Can you pass for 'normal' or do people find you odd?" I think it would be more accurate in a practical sense?

And, answering that question personally, I would say that other than brief service related exchanges in which on one cares, I can not pass for 'normal' or at the very least people find me odd to some degree. I was always told I was odd/quirky and friends I had when I was young were tolerant of it or actually found it appealing. However, as an adult it's probably the main reason that I have no close friends other than my wife (which I'm fine with for the most part).



Mona Pereth
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06 Sep 2019, 5:22 pm

Magna wrote:
I like the idea of this thread, but it's also under the premise the most NTs are actually judging people to be either NT or ND; people don't think in those terms. If we could equally ask: "Can you pass for 'normal' or do people find you odd?" I think it would be more accurate in a practical sense?

Right, by "pass for NT" I essentially meant "pass for normal." Of course the average person would have no idea what your weirdness might mean if indeed you come across as weird, which is why I said "weird (or at least very geeky, or otherwise very odd)" rather than anything more technical.


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06 Sep 2019, 5:42 pm

I have a long history of severe mental illness , to go along with the recently diagnosed Asperger's . Conversationally over very short periods of time I might pass for NT , but I wouldn't like to say I could beyond that.

Out and about - due to my poor coordination and odd gait (Stepdaughter has said I walk like I'm drunk) it would be hard to pass myself off as NT.



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06 Sep 2019, 5:58 pm

No comorbids (ADHD or otherwise), and can pass likely out of sheer physicality (proprioception/spatial/visual/kinesthethic/nonverbal related strengths). That includes being verbal enough because of said strengths.

I simply choose not to mask and happened that can still pass.
One best way to give myself away is not to have any/with lesser regulation skills or threshold/tolerance, which involves a lot of emotional and sensory intolerances/overwhelm. Therefore behaviors emerge, certain thinking patterns, loss of focus control and levels of intentionality, etc.


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06 Sep 2019, 10:44 pm

I have autism but no ADHD. I think I can pass for an NT for short periods of time if I'm relaxed enough (but not too relaxed), but other than that, I don't think so.



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07 Sep 2019, 5:58 am

I have a severe case of ADD and I can't rather pass for a neurotypical person otherwise than for short periods of time - well, maybe no one thinks I'm an aspie (because an ordinary Joe Smith rather doesn't have any knowledge as for what Asperger's is) but they do think I'm an eccentric introvert. This is at least what everybody supposed me to be when I was in college. When I don't talk at all - which I did in elementary school; I was supersilent - I give the impression of someone seriously introvertic but when I do start to talk, express my opinions on stuff - people think me to be an eccentric, maybe even a nutso. But a smart nutso :) I always seem geeky and odd.



Last edited by Irulan on 07 Sep 2019, 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

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07 Sep 2019, 7:07 am

I don't have ADD. Until age 18 or 19 I had social anxiety that was more debilitating than my autism. People definitely noticed something wrong with me, but I think they rightly assumed the issue to be social anxiety and might not have noticed anything caused by autism. Due to not interacting much with people and thus a lack of experience some of my autism symptoms were more severe than now but they were symptoms you don't notice if someone hardly speaks.
Now people still notice that something is wrong with me. Sometimes I may still come off as having social anxiety. For the most part I probably seem introverted or reserved. I come off as weird in other ways unrelated to seeming shy or withdrawn too if I interact with someone long enough but it can take longer for people to notice this than to notice that I seem distant.