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chris1989
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14 Oct 2019, 8:59 am

I do get sick and tired of the demonisation of people in their 20s and 30s who still live at home with parents. The thing I do live with my divorced mum and her partner where she lives because that's where I work and I don't always let them do everything for me, I clean and tidy my room and the rest of the house, wash and iron my own clothes, change the bed sheets, buy my own stuff, pay the rent and so on. I am still having to work on cooking though. But I still think other people like me doing the things I mentioned and still be cast as a burden on the parents who want their own space. I am finding the notion of moving out right now not an option for me, and I seem to be content right now with how I am working even though I am only doing a 10 hour contract for 2, 3 or 4 days a week and its easy for someone to say ''we'll if your job is not paying enough money to move out, then get another job with more hours and will pay you more money!'' but I feel like I don't want to be doing more jobs than the one I am doing now because I seem to think the the number of days I mentioned working is enough for me and house prices I see in the windows seem to be impossible to have and because of this staying at home makes me feel comfortable and makes me feel 'why should I move out when its ok here and the parents are perfectly fine in me being here? I do think at times I self-impose this pressure because I see others moving when they are in their 20s and 30s and at the same time I don't feel ready for it and never will. I must therefore in some people's eyes because of this mindset be childish and selfish with no interest to have his own place.



kraftiekortie
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14 Oct 2019, 9:00 am

It really doesn't matter to me.

You pay the rent, you do responsible things.

I ain't judging you, that's for sure.

I moved out when I was 20 because I wanted to. I didn't want to follow "the rules of the house."



timf
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16 Oct 2019, 9:18 am

If you enjoy the loving support of family, it would be foolish to allow the opinions or expectations of others to drive you from that in which you find comfort.



GiantHockeyFan
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17 Oct 2019, 9:17 am

While part of me wishes I moved out much earlier, given how insane the cost of rent is in my city relative to the lack of employment opportunities for young workers, I think you would have to be a fool to move out alone unless you had a great, stable job. I was 29 and my wife 32 when we ventured out on our own. Even though I work full time in a decent job and saved for years I had to eventually find a roommate to lower the bills as I was still spending more than I made (and I had the nickname Mr. Burns growing up because I was so tight with money). Luckily, I found a great one and even though I only stayed a few months if I hadn't met my wife I would have stayed for years as he was a introverted Engineer who was never home.

I see the next door neighbors kid who has a crappy minimum wage job moved out at about 21-22 and can only shake my head as to what a fool he is. I expect him to come crawling back within the year. One of the reasons we have a nice house in a nice neighborhood is because we both lived at home, saved enough to make a large down payment and had great credit because we weren't scraping by like most people our age.



Lely
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17 Oct 2019, 11:40 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:


I see the next door neighbors kid who has a crappy minimum wage job moved out at about 21-22 and can only shake my head as to what a fool he is.

It isn't always foolishness.

Not all people want to have a house or want a big saving and therefore are willing to spend another 10+ years living with their parents.

Some also get kicked out and have no option.

Some live with parents into their thirties and still saved nothing. My ex boyfriend didn't move out until he was 33 (he said when he tried twice to move out earlier his mama started crying and accused him of leaving her!). Despite living with his mama so long, he didn't save and wastes a lot of money and never had the goal to save anything. there is nothing wrong with not saving if you don't value it and think endless consumption makes you happier instead. Houses, consumption, savings, ... don't make a human really happy anyway.

I had only min wage jobs. The difference between the rent I pay now and the cost it would have been to stay living with my mother (the rent I paid her + higher car insurance + spending more on petrol) would have been only tiny, and the emotional cost too big. On min wage it's difficult to save anything substantial anyway. I also got kicked out by her so it wasn't an option. And I wouldn't have been able to live with her anyway because we could never stand each other.

But if someone gets along with their parents and doesn't want to move out or can't, then what is wrong with it if they are happy?



GiantHockeyFan
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17 Oct 2019, 12:22 pm

Apologizes if I implied that someone in general is a fool if they move out. I am referring to specific people who are practically overgrown children and live a sheltered life where they do nothing and have no responsibilities: those people are in for a VERY rude awakening. If someone has abusive parents or a otherwise crappy home life, I wholeheartedly encourage them to GTFO as soon as they can.



redrobin62
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17 Oct 2019, 1:39 pm

Moving out of my house wasn't an option. I would've killed myself if I'd stayed there. At 18, I went to college 1143 miles away. I had to return home 2 1/2 years later because I ran out of funds. I hated nursing, but became one anyway to move out of the house at 25. If living in my old house was okay, I would've stayed there, too.



CockneyRebel
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17 Oct 2019, 7:56 pm

I moved out at the age of 32. It took me a while to have the mindset to move out. I had friends who moved out on their own when they were in their 30s, 40s and 50s.


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IsabellaLinton
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17 Oct 2019, 8:05 pm

I left for University at 18 and never went back to my parents, apart from a couple months on their sofa after graduation. I was arranging my next accommodation during this time, and doing the financials. I refused to go to my old bedroom and get comfortable because I knew I didn't want to stay. I don't judge other people for staying or going at any particular age. In my case I didn't get along with my mother so I absolutely wanted my own space.


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Fireblossom
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18 Oct 2019, 8:29 am

I moved out at the age of 18, exactly a month after my graduation. My half sister at 19, my older sister at 25 and younger sister, 19, is still living with our parents. Oh and dad lived with his parents until he was...30? 31? In his early thirties. It's different for everyone.