strings wrote:
Sympathy involves sharing the feelings of another person, whereas empathy involves understanding (cognitive) or responding "appropriately" (affective), without necessarily sharing the feelings with the person.
So what are these when I am seemingly more upset then the folks directly undergoing the circumstances?
#1 My uncle died and as I approached my aunt at the wake I was overwhelmed with emotion for her, for him, for me and gave her a hug, didn't know what to say so asked "may I sit by you a moment?" which was my way of showing support (oddly of course).
#2 My best friend broke a bone and I was overwhelmed by that and was super awkward in expressing my concern and she was like "it's fine, I have help and am doing well!" I wanted to yell "it's not fine!" But I guess it was for her... in that moment.
Is
sympathy sharing the feelings of the moment or a previous/future moment? B/c I feel worse than they do in the moment, but probably what they felt/will feel at a different time. I responded but awkwardly, does that qualify as "appropriate"
affective empathy? I know a person is upset when they lose a loved one or have an injury, so don't I have "understanding"
cognitive empathy?
That said, I get
so scared when my husband or kids are hurt that I can seem quite cruel. I'm trying to comfort them instead of screaming "what is it? what it is?" and scaring them half to death, or doing the opposite (unresponsive) b/c I just want it to go away. They are scared too by the way, so -again- it seems like I am having the magnified feelings that I am trying to shutdown.