Got my final report today...

Post Reply New Topic

I’m still processing all that my psychologist discussed with me, all the things on my report. Just got it this morning.

Final diagnosis:
- ASD level1
- Unspecified Anxiety Disorder
- Unspecified Depressive Disorder

I’ve always known I was different, but ASD never crossed my mind up to 4-5 weeks ago when I was researching the topic because of some of my son’s behaviors.

So far, I’ve told my official diagnosis to my husband and my mom. I think they still need some time to process it. In the hour I spoke with my mom, she went through all stages of grief. Ended at acceptance.

My husband has been amazing through all this process. But I think he is in a bit of shock.

I confess I’m surprised with the touch of depression he diagnosed me with... I generally don’t consider myself depressed. But I know some toxic thought come and go. He said my comorbidities are not serious to be considered clinical just yet. We just need to monitor it. I’ll start therapy in a week.

The report was very thorough, 10 pages long. It’s a lot of information and a lot to digest right now. But I will study it a bit more in depth later.

I want to thank all of you guys for the support over the past several days since I joined WP. It has helped me greatly.

I found my tribe!

Congratulations!

I'm glad to hear that you now have a resolution to the questions you've been asking of yourself, and that you've already found some acceptance and support from your loved ones.

This is quite common, I think. Autism has been present since infancy, as will the development of strategies to cope with it, even though we may not be aware of having special circumstances to "cope" with. The kind of mental health difficulties which managing our autism can so easily lead to are likely to come along for the ride, and so may seem as "normal" to us as our autistic traits - and in the absence of a diagnosis, may not even be distinguishable from them. Hence, our estimation of our mental health can become distorted; it's easy to end up setting a much higher threshold for what constitutes being unwell than most people would have, and our autistic masking is just as effective for concealing the signs of mental ill-health as it is our autistic traits. Getting a much better sense of when my mental health is faltering, and early enough to nip any problems in the bud, has been one of the most beneficial consequences of being diagnosed for me.

When I first received my report, there were moments during my reading of it when I thought to myself; "hang on a minute, do they mean me?". I was rather astonished at how the way I present myself to the world could seem so different from the outside than it does from the inside. It is true that a diagnosis doesn't change who we are, but it can certainly change how we perceive who we are. You know where to come should this prove baffling occasionally, of course!


It certainly can be! Receiving a diagnosis is a milestone from which to begin the next stage of the journey with a clearer map of the terrain, not a destination in itself. It can be hard to resist choking it all down in one go, so try to remember that there is no rush, and that it may be wise to let your brain have a bit of break now and then. Likewise, there is no rush to disclose to anyone, nor in many cases any need to at all - let the dust settle a while before jumping into any drastic changes.

Welcome to the tribe!

Congratulations!! !!
(mostly )

Welcome to the tribe. Your tribe, your planet.

You were very concerned about where the psych's assessment of function landed. Was it generally close to BAP as you thought, or more firmly in Level 1? approaching 2 in some areas?

Digest.

Today @bluegreenleaves was DX'd also and as I told her (and will tell myself in three weeks):

Wishing you well with this new light on your Life journey.

{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}} & Congrats on receiving some answers. You are "You" ... no matter what. Now, go forth and work with it, not against it , as should those who are closest to you. xx

I also congratulate you for finding the missing piece of your puzzle that I'm sure now explains so much. I know that's how it was for me. Also, if you're like me, you'll now be able to love yourself more and embrace you for who you are.

Tell whomever you want or tell no one outside your immediate family. That's your business and your choice. Also, it's commonly taught that for major life experiences (e.g. death, divorce or other things that can radically shake one's life) to not make any serious changes for up to 18 months. I think this can apply to a new autism diagnosis as well. Meaning: A person with a new diagnoses may not be sure what to think about it yet and may feel a desire to tell everyone immediately, while a person may feel more selective about it after months of letting things "sink in".

Thank you, guys!! !

Trogluddite, you are totally right. My mental health is top priority.

SharonB, special thanks to you for listening to my vents and doubts! It meant a lot to me! Your big day is coming soon too! To answer your question, he said my “symptoms” and behaviors are significant enough that he has no doubt I have ASD. He says he placed me on the higher function/Asperger place on the spectrum, not closer to moderate. However, my working memory score was terrible, like REALLY bad. So I totally need more help there.

Magna, for now only my husband and my mom knows. I was gonna tell my dad tonight as he was coming over to get his laptop fixed up (husbands domain). But he had to cancel. I thought it was going to be a good opportunity, as he was coming alone, without his wife. But now I need to think about how to do this. For now I wanted to be just him. I’m not sure about how I feel about telling her or others just yet. Just for context, my dad is EXTREMELY social, which is kinda ironic... I still don’t know who and if I’m gonna tell anybody else. Maybe my brother and my friend.

In a way, it totally feels surreal to know I’m on the spectrum. Like I said, 5 weeks ago I didn’t even suspect this was the reason I was so different. The idea never crossed my mind. For now, I’m not feeling anything, no anxiety about this, no sadness, no strong emotions. I had all sorts of emotions yesterday when I didn’t know what the doctor was gonna say. Today, as he was discussing my results, my face was hot, but that’s it. Everything he concluded about me was pretty much on point. My husband is more in shock and just feels like he wants to protect me and make sure I know he loves me. That is super comforting to hear and to know. He is totally amazing.

^ That's wonderful about your husband being supportive. He's a keeper.

My wife was the same way. Originally when I told her I wanted to be assessed, she was against the idea only because she didn't realize why it would matter since from her perspective, it wouldn't change anything in her mind about how she felt about me. When I was adamant about wanting to be assessed, she was supportive and when I was diagnosed, my wife was totally supportive as well.

It seems pretty common that parents find out they are autistic while researching autism for their children.

Hi GoldenMom

Great you got your answer and the wait is over (at least for you, though still waiting for your son?) I really hope that it will help you and you can start a new chapter of your life with greater understanding and maybe a sense of belonging(?)

I found it helpful to me to read about your journey so far with diagnosis, so thank you for sharing it here.

Magna: he is totally a keeper!! ! We’ve been married for 24 years!

ASPartOfMe: isn’t it interesting that we don’t recognize something is not quite matching in ourselves but we do with our kids?

Oakling: Yes, it was really the explanation I had been looking for all my life. The missing link. Today I was way more forgiving of my memory issues, it was quite the revelation the way I behaved towards myself, if that makes any sense. My son’s results come out in 2.5 weeks. He has some ASD behaviors but a lot of anxiety ones. I’m almost 100% sure he will be diagnosed with anxiety. The jury is still out on ASD. He is actually very friendly, kinda “social” at times and very imaginative. He was very social at the Psychologist office. But that is not how he behaves at school with peers. So that is throwing the Psychologist off. My son may end up on the BAP range. It will be quite ironic if I’m the only aspie in the family. I would have never guessed if it wasn’t for me researching about him! In a way, researching for him likely saved my future mental health. And for that I am grateful. No matter what diagnosis he may end up with, this process has been a blessing in disguise. I just want to make sure both my son and I are ok in the end with all the support we need. I’m glad our story is helping you in some way!

How are you doing today, ASD person? How is it going integrating this into your life?

Today was not a good day, actually... I was doing ok the first few days. Relief, and being kinder to myself for my forgetfulness, etc.

But yesterday evening, my son had a meltdown and a shutdown. He got stuck on a word and kept repeating it for a while. This morning, we had some changes in routine and a family misunderstanding. I am usually very much in control of my emotions, but I totally lost it today. I am. It a screamer, but I screamed. I cried. Left the room to cry by myself. M My son also had another shutdown on the way to school, the poor thing. It was stressful. He called a few times during the morning because he had stomach pain and headache. Then more GI pain, my husband went to pick him up early.

We are all ok now. My son calmed down. I also had stomach pain throughout the day. I’m a bit sad, but I’m ok. Everyone was sad, but we all talked to each other and we all apologized to each other, forgave each other.

But it was scary to lose control like that. It was just too much this week. My brain just could not take it. I tried to explain to my husband how my brain work and how my son’s brain likely works, and he finally understood.

Taking a deep breath. Counting to 100....


Thank you so much for asking!

What does level 1 mean?

I am glad you and your family made it through the challenging day.

Mountain Goat, there are 3 levels according to the DSM5, levels 1, 2, and 3. Level 3 is the most involved, think classic autism. The levels actually have to do with the level of support a person on the spectrum needs. So level 3 indicates the person needs lots of support. Level 2 indicates moderate support. Level 1 indicates needs support. Think of level 1 as what we often refer to as High Functioning Autism.

I think they made it very generic on purpose, to help clinicians give a diagnosis somewhat more accurately. To give them a place on the spectrum. I’m not sure how I feel about it because it still doesn’t describe the type or quality of help needed. For example, the things I need help with may not be many at one given day, but more on another, or I may need a lot of help on just a few issues. Make sense?

If anyone else has a better explanation, please feel free to pitch in.

For me, it is hard to know what help I need as is only occasionally I would need any help. But in a way, because I help my Mum and she helps me.. If my Mum wasn't here, I would need a little more help on occasions, but not that often. I guess it depends. Some times when I am fragile with shutdowns I will need more. Other times I need no help whatsoever... Is very difficult to say as some of the tasks my Mum does.

In the past when I would have partial shutdowns, but I had not reached burnout, so I could recover quickly and also, I didn't get them so frequently... I was quite independent and able to do all my own shopping in almost any shop... It is only the last decade or so where I have been hard hit...

I can quite understand though about sometimes needing help and other times not...