Discovering what ASD means...

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Hi, I'm Mister Chris, and I've read tons of articles, forums, and comments about people who weren't diagnosed with ASD until their 30's, 40's, or even 50's, and their reaction was always "Wow, that explains everything!". But, having known about my own diagnosis since early Elementary school, I've taken it for granted this entire time. I'm 27 years old now, and in the last few months, I've discovered that many of my thoughts, ideas, and feelings, are due to my ASD diagnosis.

I want to know more about how/why ASD has affected my life, and the best way to do that is by talking with all of you; I want to hear about your experiences in the NT world, about your "a-ha!" moments, about how you learned to survive awkward situations (created by you, or others), about any loopholes you've found in the NT culture/society, what dating and marriage is/was like, about how you manage to form happy, loving, and long lasting relationships, about the subtle quirks you thought unique to you until you discovered that it was a subtle symptom of Autism, about the strengths you have in Autism, about how you've overcome your fears and shortcomings,

I have a cousin and niece (age 5-12), both diagnosed ASD. Knowing now how difficult ASD made my life, I can't help but predict a future just as difficult for them. I know they'll have every advantage I never did- they were born 15-20 years later than I, after all. But I still can't help but worry for them. I don't think "pity" is the right word, though. More like, I just know what they're gonna have to go through just to get by in life. So, any words of sage advice I can give their parents would help immensely.

Thanks.

Welcome to wrong planet. You have come to the right place to find the information you seek.

It is never too late to figure out ASD effects a lot of how your life goes.

While I can't predict the future I can advise that acceptance that part of oneself is autistic is important for one's self-esteem, which is important for dealing with life's obstacles. Your kids will pick up on it if your self-esteem is poor.

The repetitive behavior trait of autism means that autistic people often get into negative thought loops that are quite damaging to self-confidence. Be it negative thought loops or other things you will learn about here are good in that you can anticipate, prevent, or cope with these things sometimes.

Welcome to the community.

I'd like to come back to this post when I have my DX'd next month, but in the meantime, as self-diagnosed...

Ah-ha moments:
* This is how I'm wired!! !! I'm not innately "wrong"; I'm a few standard deviations out from typical. #1 Now to embrace my strengths and acknowledge my weaknesses. What are they really? #2 Now to navigate the difference with awareness. What's in my control and what's not?
* Loop hole? Teasing: Marry an immigrant, they don't know any better. Well, there is some truth to that --- my NT (immigrant) husband grew up in two cultures and saw that social norms are "arbitrary" to some degree. So when he met me --- a person naturally outside social norms, it was appealing rather than repulsive.

I'm at the early stages of acceptance. I see that others here are doing so, have done so and I am inspired by that. I am finding more contentment in my 40s and this will be a large part of that. Putting ASD aside, I think it's a natural Life progression for a human being. I have carried so much shame in my life; I look forward to shedding a lot of that. (I'm told the thoughts will still come, I'll be abiding by less of them.)

I have a niece that's ASD and showing signs of difficulty. I could be wrong on the latter. I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do b/c I don't have a good relationship with my sibling and I am not close to my niece (yet?). In the context of me, I suggested there are accommodations to consider and make (especially for the transition to an adult) and gave a couple examples of "if I had known." Their was no response, so... meh. I'll start be being my authentic self (more so) and being there for my niece.

Welcome.