Not looking forward to new arrival in family

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My sister is due in December or January and I don't feel much excited about it and may obviously be just finding it quite hard to cope with the change. I even now feel that there is self-imposed pressure to find someone, start a relationship and start a family of my own sooner rather than later because if you are over 35 or 40 it'll be too late to even bother. Obviously no one in my family has been telling me about this and may be is just me putting pressure on myself and its not making me happy. I seem to think I would have had more time to relax at 25 and take all time in the world to think about the stuff I mentioned about a family and not to relax at 30 and start thinking about these things now even though I'm not with anyone.

I know how you feel. People getting pregnant and having babies is a big change and you feel like you've lost part of them even if you're close, because then it all becomes about the baby. I have a cousin with some learning difficulties and although she's not diagnosed with an ASD or anything I have still always felt that she is the only cousin of mine that is the most similar to me (finds certain things hard, not many friends, in simple cleaning jobs, and don't drive), but she often says that she'd like a baby with her boyfriend and I find it hard to imagine it. I think it would take me a long time to accept it if she ever does fall pregnant. It also means everyone will move up one generation (her mother will become a grandmother, her sisters will become aunts, her grandmother will become a great grandmother, etc).

But trust me, you will start to get used to having a baby in the family and you will grow to accept it. You never know, you might find you love the baby and having a baby around gives you an excuse to play and be silly again.

The doctor asked if I wanted to have children. Answered. "I don't ever want to have my own children", she quoted in the notes

"Ever" sounds like 12 years old.


36 is already geriatric pregnancy

At 40 the chances of down syndrome go up

One of the more depressing thoughts in this world is that the more severe your ASD, Intellectual disability, etc. is, the more likely it is is that they won't be able to find someone and therefore start a family with them. Seeing their own siblings or just anyone their in their age range being in relationships, let alone having kids in the process, must be upsetting. I totally get what you're feeling, Marknis.

Marknis didn't write this thread.

True, but after losing two (one to something similar to Down Syndrome only almost always fatal) we had a nearly perfect baby boy when my wife was 42. I wish I didn't spend so much time imposing a timeline and just let things happen as they are going to unfold. What's crazy is that, just like when I was about to resign myself to being single I said out loud that I accept whatever is going to happen and boom, just like that things worked out.

^^^Ultimately, that’s the only solution. To just sort of wing it and try not to worry about it.

Sorry for your losses.

I had a sister who died at birth.

Oops, my bad