Stress from Work

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everybody, I have written about my job before on other topics. I am a TA finding myself struggling to deal with one of my students going down hill. Last year, he was somewhat defiant and out of control but I could usually reign him in. He liked me (even though he wouldn't always show it) and he usually respected me. This year is different. He yells at me constantly to go away and when I don't go away or even sometimes when I do, he begins punching himself in the head. I should also mention that this student was diagnosed with ADHD and depression but does not have an IEP. He has found other ways of attempting to hurt himself in the past this year such as trying to stab himself with a pencil and trying to make himself overheat and pass out. He also complains of many physical ailments and has been out sick a lot due to headaches, a toothache, and an ear infection. The teacher is currently documenting the number of times the student accepts help without being defiant. If the data doesn't show he's doing good with help, I'll be taken away from him for good and he'll be on his own for the rest of the year. Sometimes too when he refuses to talk to me about his feelings but he'll go to the office and talk to the supervisory aid. While I do have many other kids I service everyday, I spend about 1/3 of my day with this student and I feel connected with him because I was with him last year. I find it very painful to have to watch him suffer and go down hill at work everyday. My parents tell me to just try not to get too involved emotionally but it's hard. Sometimes I cry at night when no one is around. When I have a lot of free time on my hands my mind tends to wander and I think about him and what I should do to make his life better and how can I help meet his needs better next time I see him. One time a few weeks ago I was just laying in bed and I started to think of a happy memory with him from last year and then I remembered how he is now and I began to tear up a bit. What should I do? Any suggestions?

1) Accept your limitations. There's only so much you can do and if you're doing what you can be kind to yourself about that.

2) His difficulties seem beyond your abilities to address. If there's anyway to get someone more trained to handle this do that. Barring that if you know anyone who is more trained to give you advice ask them for it.

3) If this is causing you too much distress remove yourself from the situation. While it can be painful to watch another person struggling, if his struggles cause you to have breakdown than now there are two people struggling when previously there was one. Do not feel bad if you have to take care of yourself instead of him.

I think the answer to this question depends highly on what level of education/age we are talking about here. Is this a middle school student? High school? College?

In general though, he seems like someone who needs a person to talk to. It seems like there are a lot of things going on in his mind that he is battling. I've been there. It does suck.

He is an elementary school child in the 4th grade. Today was even worse because I was told by the teacher that it's not our job to make sure he feels good and ready to learn. We just have to let him fail. I know she means well because if he fails and there's enough data, he can get a label as ED/BD and/or ODD but it's hard to watch a child I love suffer so much. Every time I try to stop crying, more tears come out. My student had a really bad stomach ache this afternoon and was rolling on the ground sobbing which made me feel even worse. I'm so glad it's the weekend so I have 2 days to decompress. I just wish we could go back to the way things were last year because everything was better.