What would you say to an aspie in denial?

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ScientistOfSound
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04 Aug 2011, 12:43 pm

What would you say to a person with AS who was in denial, or felt ashamed of themselves for having AS?

I have a friend who have recently been diagnosed as aspergers and he denies it completely and acts as if its something bad or something to be ashamed of. What would be the best thing for me to say to him, in order to comfort him?



TB
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04 Aug 2011, 12:50 pm

ScientistOfSound wrote:
What would you say to a person with AS who was in denial, or felt ashamed of themselves for having AS?

I have a friend who have recently been diagnosed as aspergers and he denies it completely and acts as if its something bad or something to be ashamed of. What would be the best thing for me to say to him, in order to comfort him?


Words wont do much, the best thing for it in my experience was time. I denied it at first and did not think the diagnosis was right, but you learn how versatile the spectrum is and you learn to analyze your everyday life with your diagnosis in mind.
It took me 2 years to really start accepting it, and no longer doubt that i was diagnosed correctly.



Moog
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04 Aug 2011, 12:52 pm

Nothing probably.

Just support them however they need, however they are, whatever their label.


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Xaisede
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04 Aug 2011, 1:06 pm

I would tell him, why be ashamed of something thats not bad.


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ScientistOfSound
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04 Aug 2011, 1:09 pm

Xaisede wrote:
I would tell him, why be ashamed of something thats not bad.


But thats the problem. He thinks he is bad, he thinks he is a (and I quote) "broken human being"



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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04 Aug 2011, 1:13 pm

The best thing to do is go places with him, hang out with him, be there for him. If he doesn't want to hear about Asperger's Syndrome, a good friend would leave him alone about it and be supportive by including him whenever possible.



SammichEater
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04 Aug 2011, 1:13 pm

Bring him here.


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TB
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04 Aug 2011, 1:14 pm

Like i said people learn best through experience, sometimes (or almost always) you have to let people find things out on their own. Denial is common when you first get diagnosed.

I don't know if you are on the spectrum yourself but if you are then this would give your words more value. This way you can show to your friend that you don't see yourself as broken. Maybe this will make it easier for him.

No offense to people who are not on the spectrum, but your words wont have much meaning. From my experience anyone trying to tell me how things are or should be, when they are not autistic themselves and have no experience with it just led me to get annoyed very fast.



Last edited by TB on 04 Aug 2011, 1:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Xaisede
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04 Aug 2011, 1:19 pm

SammichEater wrote:
Bring him here.

That is a good idea... give him the link to this site, but make sure you tell him .net. The .com goes to this 'you won so and so' virus site.


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04 Aug 2011, 1:21 pm

I'm not even officially diagnosed and I only denied it for 3 days. I stopped denying it when I came here and realized that many of you here share the same views as me. I don't remember what the exact words were, but why are we the disabled ones, when we're the ones who try to analyze confusing social situations with logic?


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Twolf
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04 Aug 2011, 2:41 pm

I think it's best to say nothing. As far as the feelings of being broken are concerned, you can reassure him that he isn't.



CockneyRebel
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04 Aug 2011, 3:17 pm

I wouldn't say anything. I'd let the person sort it out for them self.


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04 Aug 2011, 3:27 pm

Moog wrote:
Nothing probably.


The best way with people like that is just to leave them alone as they may not be in denial after all. Some people may wrongly misdiagnose others - it has happened, you know. :wink:



Godless_lawyer
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04 Aug 2011, 3:59 pm

Really not trying to offend anyone with this - but I can sympathize with how your friend feels. If I were diagnosed with AS tomorrow (and I wouldn't be here if I didn't at least think it's a serious possibility) I certainly wouldn't be happy about it.



wavefreak58
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04 Aug 2011, 4:14 pm

I would say:

'Denial is a river in Africa. If you're in denial, then you're all wet and in danger of drowning"


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