Many women disqualify me in dating solely for being virgin

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I have been in this internal struggle to regain my self-esteem despite having turned 30 and remaining a virgin despite not wanting to. I have gained a lot of self-confidence back, but the problem seems to be that a lot seem to think that the virginity issue nullifies any of that.

Even when I stopped answering questions about virginity, a lot of women have made comments about how I "act like a virgin". I am not sure exactly what they mean, except a vague guess being my awkwardness. But I am shy and awkward since childhood, and most likely would still be as shy and awkward even not being a virgin.

But there is a pervading mindset here that virginity as an adult is an unforgivable sin that can never be remedied. In other words, that I could be for example a world-reknowned scientist who found the cure for AIDS and cancer and I would be rejected still, solely due to the virginity. That is to say, that no amount of self-love or self-confidence would compensate for being a virgin at 30.

It does not help that I have Asperger's, OCD, various types of anxiety and now I have become quite paranoid in general.

It is like I am disqualified from participating in the "game" of dating because non-virgins are not even allowed to enter the game in the first place.

Is this just something unique here, or in general terms do most women from other cities and other countries not treat male virgins as harshly as over here?

I think i read another one of your posts somewhere where you said you live in california? if that's the case i think you're right.

Certainly not an issue here (unless in dating apps subculture, I know nothing about local dating apps subculture).
Regular people outside of hookup circles don't care.

A passive, quiet, introverted male that has low energy, bad people skills, unlikeable because of having Aspergers. Aspergers is the reason why women avoid you, ignore you or reject you. Life as a male with Aspergers is much harder than a male that does not have Aspergers. Most males without Aspergers are outgoing, extroverts with good people skills and are likeable.

San Francisco, California, correct.

In my mid-20s I was treated like sh*t for being a virgin that I fell into a deep depression for about two years due to the hundreds of comments that I had received, especially from women, that hurt like hell. Even people whom I considered friends and acquaintances made fun of me for being a virgin, as well as extended family. My self-esteem plummeted drastically and I hated myself. I ended up losing 25 kg due to losing my appetite from the depression. I am determined to not end up in that state again.

I went to university in the UK, and noticed that women generally treated me better. Although I was busy with studying so I never dated. I do not know exactly how dating is in Europe compared to here, but I assume that it is better. At least from what I have heard as well from acquaintances and friends.

Your profile says Poland. As I have never been there, I have no idea exactly how dating is, but I assume that it is better than here. The closest that I have been to the ex-Warsaw Pact countries was when I went to Czechia. I saw a lot of sex all over Prague in the form of adverts and shops, but I have no idea how Slavic women treat older male virgins.

But Poland are heavily Catholic. Maybe that helps a bit in not insulting male virgins?

A bunch of harmful stereotypes.
There are just as many female introverts as male introverts. The point is to find places to meet them - a noisy bar is not the right one.

Any person who is cruel enough to ridicule an adult male virgin isn't worthy of much respect from you or anyone else in my opinion.

I read some work on sexual cultures where Poland was in a group of "Non-Latino Catholic", described as having late sexual initiation and low number of sexual partners as a social norm for both genders.
So, likely, yes.

This really is the core of the problem of dating while introverted. "Go where the introverts are" gets a bit weird when where they tend to be is "at home".

Here even Latin American Catholics believe that being a virgin too old is considered weird or gross, especially for a male. And basically everyone else believes similar, but are harsher, that a male virgin beyond for example 18 is basically not worth a woman's time at all. As in, not even being rejected on a first date, I mean not even getting first dates in the first place. The virginity is considered so bad that nothing really can redeem his situation.

I am not sure how female virgins are treated here. Usually when people hear "virgin" close to 100% of the time it means a male virgin. And "virgin" is an insult here, similar to how "gay" and "ret*d" are used as insults.

Latino Catholics are a very different sexual culture to Non-Latino Catholics.

This forum is the only place I've ever heard about people being shamed for being virgins in real life (I run in to the topic sometimes in fiction, but never IRL.) And for women it's often the opposite; conservative people tend to judge women if they aren't virgins and aren't married. Those people should shame men for that, too...

Anyway, I think you might be a bit too obsessed with the topic. It could be that, at least with some women, the issue isn't really the fact that you're a virgin but your attitude about it. Have you paid any mind to what your body language is like when the topic comes up or you hear the word?

I received this useless advice more than once and of course nobody could give any concrete example of where to meet these 'introverts'. Guess where my wife was most weekends before we met? Alone in her condo! We lived on opposite ends of the city and didn't frequent the same places either. Having male dominated interests didn't help either.

One thing I can say is that I had a inescapable urge to move literally one street over from her about 10 years ago but talked myself out of it as the commute to work would have been longer. It was one of those irrational hunches that I probably should have paid attention to more.

And where did you finally meet?

America sounds like a very toxic country to live. No wonder it has crime rates. Save up some money and move to any other country in this world for a better life and escape the toxic American culture.