not feeling happy for others due to jealousy

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chris1989
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08 Dec 2019, 1:21 pm

If I am feeling jealous or envious of other people because of their social lives I struggle to feel happy for them and it doesn't inspire to do the stuff they are doing because I won't get round whatsoever to doing what they doing anyway because they have friends and I have few to hang out with and I don't see the point in going out to meet new people in social environments like a pub or somewhere if I am on my own and don't bother to do so.



Joe90
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08 Dec 2019, 2:00 pm

Meeting people in pubs and bars isn't as easy as everyone makes it out to be. If you have an ASD, or are shy, or introverted, or have social anxiety, or it just isn't your scene (this applies to NTs too) then you're wasting your time going to those places. The best place for socially awkward people like ourselves is to do volunteering work. I know that sounds like a cliche, but in England a lot of lonely people do volunteering at charity shops and that's where you're more likely to meet like-minded people. Do you have any charity shops near you?
That's where I met people anyway. It's a much more friendly environment for anyone who isn't into clubs and parties. Even if you meet people that are older than you it doesn't matter. I have a friend I met at a charity shop, and she's in her 60s, but she's a good, trusting, loyal friend and we've stayed in touch all these years.


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ToughDiamond
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12 Dec 2019, 8:42 am

I don't suppose many people would feel happy for others under those circumstances - others are enjoying something important that you feel you'll never get. I guess the trouble is, feeling bad about them won't help your social interactions with them. I think Joe90 is on the right track with the idea of looking in friendly places such as second-hand shops.