How much are things you experience downplayed ?

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My depot nurse came today to see how I was getting on . She asked about my teeth , and whether I had lost any more of them . I haven't . I said my teeth are in a far less than good state ,part of that having been due to poor dental hygiene. I admitted that I was poor at remembering to do certain things like teeth brushing , and pill taking. I have cardboard dosette boxes , but still end up not taking the meds some days . I bought up the subject of executive functioning to which she offered the opinion that I'm intelligent , and that through force of habit a lot of people forget to do certain things . To my mind she downplayed the EF issue in a "Lots of people are like that" kind of way . There are areas I struggle cognitively , i.e practical daily living skills , but , like many people , she doesn't look much beyond my verbal skills .


This has been the case,as far as I can remember, not just with her but certainly when younger with my parents too . There was acknowledgement that I'm badly coordinated but little recognition of any cognitive difficulties .

She probably doesn’t know that much about this topic. Most people don’t unless they have some sort of specialty in the area of autism or ADHD (or are one of us).

Nurses don’t have a lot of psychological training.

Oh my gosh, Fire Monkey, I can totally relate. I get SO INFURIATED when people do that to me. I am screaming inside my head, "Listen to me, acknowledge and validate what I am saying. I am telling you something!! !! Don't try to spare my feelings by trying to make me feel better by saying something that totally invalidates everything I am saying to you!! !" UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!! !! That is one of the most annoying things ever!! It's like they don't even care about what you are saying. They are just trying to say something that sounds positive so that it doesn't feel so bad. I hate that so much. I would feel so much better if they said, "Wow, I have no idea what that must be like," instead of downplaying my struggles.

I guess I'm lucky,in that at least my stepdaughter knows how things are. Mental health services are better here, in that the Asperger's was picked up on, but there's still the belief that being good verbally means you'll not have problems with any other area of cognition .

It's either "downplayed" or exaggerating

Hypochondriac or denial

This is not "A wrinkle in Time"

There is no happy medium

You can't measure it

It's constantly changing



Counselor Jeanne Courtney kept telling me that every slightest thing was "unfortunate thing that happened" or "sorry" (for things that are not her fault), "distress".

It was like reverse psychology . Devil's advocate.

That way the client says "it's not that bad".


And the counselor says "you just said it's not that bad"



When precious lil "people" don't give the client as much sympathy as the client wants , the client keeps complaining until they get enough sympathy

I don't tell anyone what its like so it doesn't come up. I do feel frustrated by things like people talking loudly, kids screetching, people obstructing aisles and exits or getting in the way, people's gesticulations, people pointing / pointing cultlery at me. I haven't mentioned that my bags were stolen on holiday. I haven't blamed executive function deficit for that or for leaving my phone on the kitchen table for the next trip.

Nobody knows that I take wrong turns, struggle to navigate, find my way back, forget where I've parked. People either don't know or don't know why I nap during the day. Don't know that I've injured myself or that I was bullied. I keep all of that to myself because no one seems to take it on board or they dismiss it / blame me.

I did mention that I struggle to socialise to my doctor. He said that everyone does and that it comes with practice. I told my friends that I was diagnosed and the reaction was minimal to say the least, these are the ones I remember.

"I could have told you that"

"Autism is alright"

"I don't think anyone is that surprised really"

"It quite suits you"



"Everyone is autistic these days"

"If you are autistic I think I must be too"

And then all the typical "everyone's a bit" responses.

Someone recently told me that an old family friend is impressed that I forge ahead and make my little life happen despite my difficulties. That was nice to hear. God knows what else people say but life is too short to worry about that.

This is going to sound really daft/stupid. Sometimes I'll go to get in the driver's side of the car rather than the passenger side . As for finding my stepdaughter's car after she's taken me shopping- If she was to forget where it is I'd be up sh*t creek without a paddle !

I do that. Have you ever sat down in the driver's seat only to realise that you're in somebody elses car?

I think many things can be downgraded with kind intentions, to simpler NT difficulties.
One I encountered today... Lack of eye contact is purely shyness, increasing it is a sign that you are growing in confidence or fondness/familiarity towards the person in question.

I've never got into a car that belongs to a stranger, but have gone to do so a few times . My car recognition ability isn't good.

A few days ago I went to a car in a parking lot thinking it was my dad's and didn't realize my mistake until I pulled on the handle and the door didn't open. It wasn't even the same color - this car was grey, our car is a denim blue. I'm very glad the car wasn't alarmed, that would've been very embarrassing.

This happens to me all the time, both with autism-related things and with physical complaints (like a headache, tiredness, etc.). I get the impression that something about me gives people the idea that I exaggerate or make up things for attention, which is in fact the opposite of what I do. If I work up the courage to mention something despite knowing it will probably be downplayed or completely dismissed, that's because yes, it is that big of a deal - otherwise I don't bother mentioning it.

I have done that before thinking I was at my car when I had a green explorer. Now I have very unique things hanging from my rear view mirror so I recognize my car every time.

Same with me. And I get furious when people down play things. Because if I say, for instance, that I have a headache, what I have is actually a debilitating migraine. I will give you a real life example, my husband and I were driving a Ford conversion van that we owned back then. He had done some work on the motor and those of you who know these vans know that you open the hood inside the car between the two front seats. He had not realized that on the passenger side he had not closed the hood all the way. So as we were driving, my feet were exposed to the actual engine. After about an hour or more, I told him, "my feet are hot." He said ok. So I just left it at that. Then a few minutes later, I told him again so he looked down to see the hood open and my foot practically against the running engine. He was like, "WHAT??? All you said was, 'My feet are hot,' I had no idea that your feet were practically burning!"

So when people downplay everything I say as if it is nothing, they don't realize how critical the situation really is for me.

My family consistently downplayed my experiences to the point I internalised it... now after two days of meeting different specialists at different clinics with my daughter I have hard time to give myself space to be tired :/

I can relate 100%