Intelligence and Ugliness

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the stereotypes of people being intelligent and ugly does annoy me and I think why can't a brainy person be attractive too ? They are even portrayed as villains in films sometimes where someone who is less good looking and smart falls in love with someone and attempts to win their heart but falls for someone else and decides to take revenge on them for it.

It's a quite wrong stereotype.

Last edited by quite an extreme on 22 Dec 2019, 2:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In general I have found that stereotype to be false. Many times "dumb blond" is a common stereotype used against women. (I suspect it is a type of bullying - if you can't attack them any other way call them ugly or stupid.) But from my perspective in real life many attractive blond girls are actually quite intelligent.

The media often portrays people incorrectly or falsely. The media is very shallow and superficial. Also many people who are ugly on the outside or have physical anomalies have hearts of gold. Sometimes this trend is actually portrayed in stories or films. For example, think of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Beauty and the Beast, the Ugly Duckling.

Attractiveness is an expression of good genes, so stands to reason that the opposite would be true, that handsomeness is positively correlated with intelligence. Of course we get exceptions like David Beckham.

The Kardashians and the Jenners are highly intelligent young women with good looks!

It'd make sense if it was the other way around... I mean, if someone's really smart then they're likely to know how to look good too, right? Genes can't be helped of course, but dressing and grooming oneself properly goes a long way.

I am unaware of this stereotype.

There can be some small basis for such generalizations.

Those with a higher IQ may be less inclined to fuss with their appearance (make up, fashion, coiffure, even weight). As a result, the group in general may be considered less attractive.

What is considered "attractive" is mostly an acquired perspective largely influenced by advertising.

Those less inclined to spend effort, time, and money to conform to these standards would also find themselves rated as "less attractive".

For those able to transcend the superficial, attractiveness is often more to be found in a sense of humor, kindness, interest in others, compassion, and equanimity.

You could just as easily twist that a different way though, and say that people who get by on their looks probably aren't going to need to use their brain as much.

I don't know if there's a direct connection between intelligence and ugliness. At the same time, I was very book-smart in my young years, and until my mid 20's, I looked hideously, monstrously UGLY. Girls wanted nothing to do with me. Dating in high school was impossible. My first date was at 18, with a girl as unattractive as I was, and boring to boot. A waitress once said to her colleague, loud enough for me to hear, that my eyes looked gross and creepy. I used to curse myself out every time I walked past a mirror, silently in public and out loud at home alone. I even had to hire an escort to lose my virginity. In retrospect, she was a lot better-looking that anyone who would have sex with me for free back then.

If that's not ugly, then I don't know what is. At one point, I even went for a plastic surgery consultation, hoping to make my hideous, disgusting face look at least marginally attractive. Sadly for me, the cost was unaffordable.

I started to age into my looks by 25 or so, and by 28, I looked pretty handsome. I knew, because I actually started meeting girls and going on dates without too much difficulty. When I took a cruise, I was worried that I won't be able to meet girls. I was floored! Gorgeous young women treated me as a respected equal, and older women playfully flirted with me. The only downside is that I destroyed most photos of myself from puberty to age 24, by shredding or deleting. Out of 200 or so I once had in my apartment, less than 12 remain. The rest are at my parents' house.

Interestingly, around the same age my looks improved, my intelligence faltered. While I still remembered the pre-existing knowledge I had, learning new stuff became difficult. I had to sweat my butt off to study for the Network+ exam. Today, it's even worse: I have absolutely no interest in any intellectual learning.

I was pretty smart. I wasn't ugly.

I was more cute than handsome, though.

People with autism, it just so happens, are supposed to be "angelic" in how they look.

This is interesting. I don't know how "angelic" I look(ed). When I was a child, strangers, especially women over 60, constantly cooed over me, which I found extremely irritating. So, I do wonder if that's why I looked so ugly in my teens and early 20's. The "angelic" baby face I had looked repulsive to girls, resulting in a one-two punch on top of my natural ugliness. The ugliness never fully left me until I was 27.

Today, I'm pretty sure I have no trace of angelic looks left. My face looks pretty aged and "weathered", with 15% of my hair and 3 teeth already gone. (One tooth was replaced by an implant.) I think the peak of my attractiveness was age 28 to 33: I aged into my looks and lost my baby face, but still had traces of youthfulness left. Not anymore. At least I'm not ugly now; I may once again be ugly when I'm old.

I can certainly say that not all people who are ugly are intelligent. I'm of probably about average intelligence, maybe a bit less after ECT, and I've never had a guy IRL even look at me twice, so clearly I'm not very attractive. I can't remember even my mom ever saying I'm pretty.

First to the question - it is a dumb stereotype not necessarily rooted in reality. Very smart people though often seem to be odd and so may not necessarily present in a normal way and then be deemed "unattractive" if you are going by conventional standards. However while there is an idea of what is conventionally good, people often recognise it but also appreciate outside that. Plus isn't intelligence in itself supposed to be attractive?

Kraftiekortie's comment amuses me as it describes my reception. I am called cute in an adorable sort of way by my peers and even those younger than me and tend to be babied/protected.

If you are a guy and was born ugly or have a baby face, you will remain ugly. If you are an ugly guy you should embrace your ugliness and not give a darn what others think! Guys can achieve and do great things in life or earn lots of money that makes up for looking ugly.

Girls are judged by society on our looks, our intelligence does not really matter. Society regards pretty girls as dumb, ugly girls are regarded as smart. The smart girls in Big Bang Theory were physically unattractive. Pretty girl Penny was portrayed as dumb. All the guys in the Big Bang Theory were ugly and smart.

This is only partially true. Men are born with specific unchangeable looks; that's true. But a man's perceived attractiveness changes as he ages. The same face that's hideously, disgustingly ugly at age 18, like mine was, is passably handsome at age 29. I went from women refusing to touch me with a 100-foot pole, to being able to capture an attractive woman's interest and having women flirt with me as a way of being friendly. Granted, the flirting was more playful than sexual, but they'd NEVER do it in a million years if they didn't think I was attractive, even if they won't get into bed with me.

Besides, a man HAS TO BE attractive in order to meet a romantic partner. A woman, by contrast, usually does not. Just consider my first girlfriend, who was far from attractive. And yet, I was more than willing to date her.