Having Aspergers

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Can Aspergers people be violent & be verbal abuser?

Some are and others are not. It varies a lot, just like it varies a lot for NT's.

Violence might be seen in two ways. Violence against people usually results in criminal prosecution. Violence against things may be observable during meltdowns.

Verbal abuse might also be seen in two ways. Defensive reactions to perceived attacks might seem justified to the speaker. A person who is consistently abusive may have additional personality disorders that lead him to view others with contempt.

Anger and frustration often arise from a sudden conflict between expectations and reality. This can trigger a meltdown with Aspergers.

Anyone can be violent & be a verbal abuser. Aspergers people are no exception. That said, I don't know that Aspergers is linked to such behavior.

"can", "should", and "will" are all different things

The world contains plenty of autistics

At least two autistics are violent for verbally abusive

What is the definition of violent?

What is the definition of verbally abusive?

I have a cleaning lady, she said I was verbal abuses & I had an attitude.

If you don't think you were verbally abusive, maybe she misunderstood you. We are often misunderstood. "Abusive" sounds like a exaggeration though.

Were you mean to the cleaning lady or something?

Yes to both

Yes. I am the sensitive and expressive type = explosions. I have really good impulse control, however my impulses are very large. In my youth I turned it inward. In adulthood I was getting too physically outward, so I changed it up to verbal and need to stop that too, find a different channel. My ASD report says I'm the type to be abusive. The worst is when I am hormonal. I know to watch for this and I increase my awareness and control, but sometimes I am caught off guard.

Woe to the robber that snatches my purse on a bad day. If the vibe is right, I'm going after that person.

I'd say since you are the "sensitive type" try making up with the cleaning lady if there was a blow-up or something, and in the future I'd try something new.

You know, we have a lot of energy as human beings. Good creative impulses are oftentimes our lower impulses turned to a higher purpose. Maybe you could try writing or poetry, photography or painting, playing (or even just listening to and appreciating) good music. Or try something different you like. I actually turned a lot of my own creative impulse towards repairing antique phonographs, and then I was able to spend this morning tidying up and listening to music from the 1930s all the way back to the early 1900s, on period equipment (most of which was saved from the scrap pile.)

I'm an impulsive person too but it's actually possible for us to turn it towards being creative and nurturing. Besides, who knows? The cleaning lady and you might even be able to become friends.

She told me I was yelling, my voice can get a little too high, cuz of my cerebral palsy or Asperger,I can control it sometimes. She also said, I’m telling her what she doing wrong, I didn’t tell her, I was talking to myself, I have sooo much trouble, cuz my Aspergers, I don’t know how deal, she don’t put stuff back way it was.

Your cleaner explained her perception. Did you explain what you explained to us? If she's a good cleaner, make some attempts to work it out. If not, find another.

My husband scheduled a cleaner for some time but then stopped. I eventually asked him why. Apparently he didn't think it was worth my upset afterwards when I looked for everything. I didn't think I was particularly upset, just normal upset. DON'T MOVE MY STUFF. Problem was that many times we did a rushed "pre-clean" beforehand that complicated matters - did I move it and couldn't remember, or did Husband move it, or did the cleaners move it? WHERE IS IT? Not particularly upset, just mildly frustrated --- if you think that's upset, you ain't seen nothing yet.

Are you the same like me? I’m going to tell her, I been busy doing laundry. What if she doesn’t believe me? I’m a little unhappy with her & she didn’t tell me to my face, she texted me on Facebook messages.

I'm told I say/write too much, or I say/write too little.

Whether or not she believes you, if you two work out a mutually acceptable communication dynamic, it's all good!

I understand your frustration, but give her Points for attempting to communicate!

Wishing this works out for you, or is a step to the next what will in the future.

Some people with CP sound like they are shouting when it is really just their struggle to get the words out. Could that be what the cleaner misunderstood as yelling?