I think I'm abnormally emotionless

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So to start it off I always thought I was fairly typical when it came to feeling emotions. I've always had typical aspie problems with expressing emotions, but assumed I had a perfectly normal range of emotions.
But recently I started looking into medication for my anxiety. I've been reading into medication which often doubles as depression medicine. A lot of them describe emotional numbness/detachment as potential side effects. I started reading into depression, numbness and the typical emotional experience. I never really thought of depression before because I'd never really gone through periods of much 'worse' than normal.

I've started to come to the conclusion that I must be abnormally emotionless.
Now that I think about it I don't think there's really that much I enjoy; just things that are good at filling time. I read a lot of books, but only one in a dozen is any good. I fill most of my time by playing my favorite online game. But I can't remember the last time I've actually enjoyed playing it; it's all about beating other people and climbing the ranked ladder.

The flip side is there too: I can't really think of the last time I was actually happy; but I also can't think of the last time I was really unhappy.


How do I understand how much emotion most people experience?
Is a lack of feeling really that uncommon?
If anyone else was fairly emotionless did you ever 'get better?'

To add to this I went to the doctor recently for an emotional health appointment. I always considered anxiety to be my #1 problem in life and roadblock. He says I score twice as high in depression as I do anxiety.

I guess I always consider depression as a sort of mental phase type thing; that I couldn't be depressed because this is how I always remember being.

My AS-like BFF would say what you did. She doesn't feel the "highs" and "lows". On the other hand, I experience the "highs" and "lows" many times a day. I have seen when she is excited and upset, but she interprets the feelings as mild, while I interpret my feelings as extreme. Not quite sure what that means for the chemical reactions in our bodies. At a support group recently a man who was otherwise stoic had tears going down his face and I asked him: so are you sad, happy, relieved, scared --- and his response was "no.... that's a stress response". He would report that he was not particularly feeling anything, while just watching him I was feeling a good bit of a whole bunch of feelings. It's not that you and my BFF aren't feeling, but I propose that you are hypofeelers, while I am a hyperfeeler. ASD is not one for moderation.

Both of use were previously diagnosed as depressed, but I was recently assessed as Anxiety not Depression. After all it's not that we don't enjoy what we used to ---- for her, she enjoys things just as much as always (which isn't much) and for me I enjoy and am upset just as much as always (which is a lot). That said, my BFF is on an anti-depressant from way back. I cannot take anti-depressants (alone) b/c they make me manic (I was previously diagnosed bipolar also, but that was removed since it was medicinally induced only). Teasing: You are the no-polar type and I am the bipolar type.

Wishing you well in finding a good emotional "resting" state.

I think a lack of emotions is more a sign of depression. At times in my life when I become socially isolated I often felt emotionless and wondered if I was depressed. The depression was never disabling and and I never got treatment for it though. It often went it a SAD seasonal cycle in that I would connect more with people in the warmer half of the year. Now that I understand myself better I try harder to connect with people this time of year.

look up "alexithymia" - difficulty identifying feelings and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal