Dancing and Autism

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For me, I never suffered too much from clumsiness so it was never noticeable in my dancing. But I think some autistic or asperger people have problems with dancing, and it can be noticeable about them sometimes. Maybe not all the time when they are dancing, but sometimes.

I can "boogie" pretty well----but I'm not very good at ballroom dancing at all.

I was doing some dancing lessons at one time, and was making some kind of progress - not great but not the worst they'd ever had either. It was all relatively traditional stuff, waltz, two-step etc. I enjoyed the challenge.

I guess the reason I did as well as I did was because I apply myself strongly to most things I take on, and that I didn't do better because I have some subtle motor co-ordination problem going on, which I always took to be something to do with ASD. I also experienced a memory problem, as the lessons were a week apart and I tended to have forgotten what I'd learned last time. I felt the lessons weren't really structured for my particular style of processing, which isn't unusual with me.

It's often said we're somewhat clumsy, and I've read that our muscles and nerves don't work quite as smoothly and gracefully as they do in NTs. I noticed a few years ago when clumsiness came up here that although my track record for not accidentally knocking anything over or bumping into anything is probably better than average, I had managed to arrange my environment so that it had clear gangways and lots of elbow room, I'd got everything placed as if I was expecting to be staggering about blind drunk or something. And I realised I was making most of my physical movements with more conscious care than most people seem to.

So I think dancing is one way I can present myself as not being as clumsy as I inherently am, if I work at it for a while. Luckily I don't particularly want to dance, though I can see the cathartic attraction of performing a set of steps repeatedly, it must feel quite good once it's got easy, like playing my guitar feels quite good when I'm just playing stuff I know very well. I never needed dancing as a social thing or as part of the mating game. I might be tempted by a ceilidh or a Victorian ballroom, but I never did get the point of modern dancing and I get nothing out of watching West Side Story, ballet or any other kind of choreography. I have to admit it's clever stuff, but it just doesn't entertain me. Don't know why.

I am a professional dancer and totally fine with practiced, codified technique when taught well. I have no idea what to do at a party where people are dancing. I usually find the house cat and sit in the corner with it.

I can learn choreography alright (not great, but ok), but when it comes to improvising I am at a loss. I like to do it, but I am really awkward. Haha! There is some nuance to dancing in a big crowd that I am missing. It's not the same as doing a routine. It has to be small otherwise I whack people with arms and legs. People like to come up and tell me what to do, but I can tell they are dissapointed in the outcome.

I like to dance, and I am super physically fit (for other reasons), but that look of disappointment when a guy gets me out on the floor and sees how I actually move around is not very fun.

Dance like no-one is watching.

This link has a ton of insights about the reasons different people give for liking and not liking dancing. Elsewhere I've seen the liking for dancing as being linked to empathy (hmm....) , but clearly there's a lot more to it than that, if it's even about empathy at all:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... pulled-out

Read the William Carlos Williams poem "Danse Russe."

Dancing is amazing to me. I am a very feeling, very expressive person. Dance MOVES me. As a child in dance classes, it took a long time for me to "get" the routines, but then I'd have them and I'd be the feeling one. In college I failed to find a dance outlet (couldn't keep up with dance troops, didn't go out socially). As a young adult, at clubs, I danced outside social boundaries - big moves, too slow, too fast. Now middle ages, I have yet to get out again...

I am reading back on my college letters and realized my best NT friends were ones I went dancing with, and dancing is how I met my NT husband (he was impressed by my "independence" on the dance floor), and my BFF dances. Does that mean dance qualifies as my physical special interest? I don't know any facts about it, but it lights me up to dance or to watch dance. Recently I saw an ASD YouTuber who said she "stim dances" - that could be me.

Couldn't dance to save myself. I think it is the sole activity I wish I could do that I am completely incapable of.

Did someone said we had to dance well? Just dance!

Top 2 of 3 "stim dancing" on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPhbw6BVwzU&t=251s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOkVL9F4XXE

I see the first video not as clumsy but as natural and wonderful. I do the second one in my car all the time.

Interestingly my NT husband is the one who doesn't have rhythm; he's fairly unexpressive also. We kind of reversed that ASD/NT stereotype in our relationship. In any case, he's from a culture that highly values dancing... His mom -a quiet, unexpressive woman- loves to dance (she's significantly non-verbal but can do a traditional Andean dance for hours).

^
Some of us just aren't that gung-ho about looking stupid in public. With me it's that way with music, I never take the risk of playing a song in public unless I'm confident I can play it without screwing up so badly that people will notice. I've noticed some wonderfully kind audiences who will even applaud people who make a mess of an open mic session, but when I see that happening I'm always really grateful it's not me up there failing. It seems to be in my DNA to do my best to make a success of everything I attempt. In an ideal world of course you'd hope clumsy dancers wouldn't look stupid, but I think that in the real world, in the eyes of a lot of people that's exactly what they do look like.

I am not particularly good at dancing, but I do enjoy it when I'm comfortable with friends. I get self-conscious dancing with people I don't know very well. I have taken a dance class and was able to learn some dance moves when taught.