Why am I so terrible at driving

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Despite literally spending over $2,000 in behind the wheel driving lessons (I actually kid you not; I actually paid out of pocket from my own wages for 20 behind the wheel lessons at $100 each), reading and rereading the driver's manual so many times I've practically memorized it, obsessively watching driver practice videos online, and even taking the road test 5 times, I'm still so terrible at driving. Is being bad at driving normal for people on the spectrum, because I never see any of my NT friends suck this bad at driving, only me and autistic friends. Like what the hell

Im posting this because when I was driving today despite obeying all the laws I almost got hit by cars several times. And it was my fault due to clumsiness and lack of coordination driving. It's beginning to piss me off that something I worked at hundreds of times harder than 99% of people I can't do as well due to not having that driver's touch and finesse everyone else seems to have. It sucks even more when you consider that everyone else seems to talk about how easy driving is, whereas every time I even enter the car I get Vietnam flashbacks to all the times I almost got into accidents driving even on local roads.

Do you have your license yet?

It took me a long time to drive, too.

Crowded local roads are more dangerous than motorways, to me. Most accidents happen at intersections, especially when turning.

The best way to learn to drive is to actually be on the road. Driving lessons didn’t do much for me.

One of the characteristics that define Aspergers is an intensity of focus. It may be that focus is obtained at the expense of peripheral attention. It is this ability that helps drivers detect and respond to potential hazards while driving. If this is contributing to your difficulties, it may be possible to train yourself to diffuse your attention sufficiently to better detect and respond to such hazards. Video games that require attention to peripheral activities may be of some benefit.

Plus get involved in actual driving situations. I only learned to drive once I got involved in actual driving situations.

I didn't get my license until I was 21 because I struggled with it immensely too. You may have a visual tracking or processing problem. I have a bifocal vision dysfunction which means my eyes don't track things together; depending on whether I'm looking side to side or up and down, one or the other of my eyes bounces around and flits all over the place rather than moving in a smooth, straight line. This affects my processing speed, or my ability to take in information and respond to it in a timely manner, and is commonly associated with difficulty with visual tasks such as reading and driving.

If you can, I would recommend looking for a developmental optometrist who will be able to perform tests to see how well your eyes work together and if there are any issues.

Just remember that those things happened next time you're on the road. Having that in mind will only help you. Also, always be wary of school buses possibly coming to a stop right near you, meaning you'll have to stop too, and the possibility of suddenly hearing sirens, which means you may need to stop/pull over. I've yet to actually get in trouble, but I've had a few close calls because I was so unprepared for it.

Are you trying to do everything consciously? You'll overload for sure. Your peripheral vision needs to get hooked up to the steering wheel so that you don't have to think about staying in your lane.
Can you maintain a map in your head of your car and the other closest cars, without having to stop looking around?
How do you do at similar tasks, such as off-road running, or riding a bicycle? How's your general coordination? What have the instructors said?

I happily drive the routes i know but i rarely drive somewhere new. I find that trying to take in all the information of my surroundings and signs posts etc is just too much.

I got my license at 20, but I didn’t become fully comfortable behind the wheel until 2 years later when commuted to and from university by car during my senior year. It definitely takes practice. I’m a very visual thinker so maybe that helped in my case.

I truly suck at driving even after 25 years, my wife drives us around