Faking Condolences?

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An old friend recently contacted me after his daughter died, feeling down. I've never enjoyed a normal parent-child relationship from either end, so I really can't relate. Would it be ethical and helpful to parrot some words of condolence, and/or suggest a grief counselling group?

I’d say yes to the condolences, but hold off on recommending counselling. It sounds like he’s looking for more personal support right now.

What she said. ^

A young widower I knew (40s, cancer) found a lot of comfort in free meetings of similar guys. There must be parents' groups, meeting in church halls, etc. The guy knew me as an avid meeting-goer.

I usually just say "I'm sorry to hear that" or "that sucks". Whether I actually feel bad about the situation is another story since I generally feel nothing

My response would be, "I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"

Very ethical. 100%.

A bereaved family will hear that question a lot, but not be thinking clearly enough to know what to ask for. When it's in town, wise friends just show up with prepared food, or otherwise take care of chores. One guy didn't ask, he just said "give me all your shoes - I want to polish them for the funeral."

It is very difficult to know what to say. Is situations like that that I just don't know what to say and if I say something I can easily put my foot in it so I can't say much in that situation.

Contact has been re-established satisfactorily. Thanks, everyone.