Feeling agitated

Post Reply New Topic

My father phoned on my birthday , and was sounding me out about my going to the States to visit . He made a point about my teeth being unacceptable . My stepdaughter is phoning the dentist for me today to get the ball rolling re dentures .

My stepdaughter would come with me. Truth be told though I don't want to go . If I don't go though I'll be a bad person . I'm now obsessively ruminating about it and getting agitated and stressed.

I feel comfortable and safe where I am . This is the kind of situation where I'd consume a lot of booze very quickly to crash out .

I've only left Britain twice. Once was about 40 years ago on a business trip to Germany with my boss, who was a nice bloke and made me feel quite comfortable about it. The next time I was due to go on my own, but I was ill so didn't go. With hindsight it was obviously anxiety. The only other time was about 30 years ago when four of us from a local club had a day trip on the ferry to Boulogne in France. I'm mostly OK travelling around Britain, as I know the language, culture and rules, but the thought of going to a place where those things are different worries me. Even in Britain I still worry about lots of things that can limit me though.

The closest friend I've ever had is currently in Spain looking into moving there. She suggested I could go too and we could be neighbours, which has made me think about it a lot. It's made me realise even more how my anxiety has had a massive impact on my life. With the mess that Britain is sinking into at the moment, I'd like to be able to consider moving to another country, even if I decide not to. It's also made me more interested in other countries, but I couldn't visit them on my own. I'd need to go with someone I feel more comfortable with than anyone I've ever known.

I can understand the concern about visiting the States. I don't think anything would get me there, even though they speak more or less the same language, and I've had a lifetime of learning the culture from films and TV. I don't have any family or friends there, so there's no one to make me feel I'm a bad person for not going, but isn't you being made to feel bad other people's problem, not yours? If you had a visible physical condition that prevented you from going it wouldn't be fair to make you feel bad, so why is it different when the problem is hidden away in the wiring of your head?

Thanks for your interesting reply . I've only been abroad once in the last 44 years . That was in 1995 . My mother got me to the airport and made sure all was OK . The flight home was a nightmare . 10 minutes in the air and I found my money and train ticket home had been stolen in the departure lounge . I spent the flight in a state of high anxiety . I had to get help at Gatwick to get me home.

Alot of it is very much (social)anxiety related .Does anyone else's SA affect them with family? My father has been retired for nearly 35 years, but leads a much posher lifestyle than me . I worry about not coming up to scratch, and embarrassing myself .