(need help asap) Am i just being a hypochondriac?

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so umm i dont even know where to start.
FIRSTLY. i want to mention that im not trying to offend anyone with this condition, because there might be things that some of yall mind find stereotypical and triggering (not sure). also it might be a bit chaotic cuz im trying to throw everything in there that might be connected to this condition, and lastly just so you know english is not my first language.
i just want to mention it right now, im most probably neurotypical, but i just started to have this obsessive thought that i might be on the spectrum and i just needed to talk about it to someone, cause it literally drives me crazy.
im 19, M.
i have never really suspected that there could have been something different about me, i dont even remember when i started to assume that i might, but around 2 months ago i started to have this thought, and since then it comes and goes.
so, about The symptoms:i think i don't really have any of them, i have never struggled with making connections with people, until i got bullied. it kinda made me withdrawn, but i still wasn't bad at talking to people and stuff, i just became shy. But, i already have overcame this problem, and now i'd say im really good at social situations, even better than most. I also have always been seen as pretty humorous, mainly im the one making jokes in the group and clowning around, im also witty and sometimes overly sarcastic. but now i start to overthink everything. i even started to question whether if im really able to read social cues. i start to overthink everything. i have never had any problems with it, but like i sometimes even rethink everything i have ever done. My brain makes me think of every awkward, embarrassing moment and i start to connect those things with this condition.

So, i always go back to my childhood, because that's when you're the most legit. i have lots of tapes, and videos, where im roleplaying and playing around as a kid. im not trying to offend anyone, but as i know its hard for aspies to do such things.(like acting) but as a child i always used to make silly little movies and stuff, i was also really expressive and could mimic every emotion really well (i still can btw). I also always felt normal, didn't have problems making connections and stuff. i didn't have any weird obsessions too(i don't know if cartoon characters and superheroes count), and i also always used to draw and write stories.

I don't know if its related to teen years (i guess it is) but i started to become really eccentric and thats when i started to feel weird. by weird i dont mean different "specie", but sometimes i used to think that i wasnt good enought. i used to be eccentric mostly to get attention from others (i still kinda am), i sometimes did weird stuff and used to be hyperactive at class. but, my actual self is weirdly normal. I have been called "little weird" couple of times (i have never been the weirdo tho or anything like that) and still think that that has to do a lot with what im going thru right now.
So about my current self: i don't have any weird obsessions or anything like that. well im interested in arts and make music. ( i also like fashion) i like thinking about philosophical stuff (mostly topics about society and people) and like to generalize everything, always look at the bigger picture. i do always speak out loud to myself whenever im alone. I also would say that im pretty good with empathizing, like better than most. i also am really good at reading people, like almost always i know who im dealing with. oh, and i dont know how but i also can unconciously control how people feel about me, like while speaking to them, i can make them like me. I do sometimes manipulate with it, but not in a damaging way for anyone. I have always liked sports, played a lot. Not necesserily good at all of them, but i have been in teams as well. I have good sense of style,(dress better than most) like i believe that i have actual talent in that, like i cant set trends and stuff. im popular with females, and generally im pretty noticible, and pretty popular. but right now im lonely asf, ive been like this for more than a year. i fell out with my close friends and since then i havent found anyone. spend most my time alone, maybe thats driving me crazy, who knows?
I dont know what to do anymore. has anyone been thru something similar to this? are there any other subtle signs that might indicate that i might be on spectrum, and im not talking about the ones that are known to everyone. i would really appereciate your responses, cuz it will help a lot. like MY mental state is F-ed at this exact moment.
ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT IT CAUSE I THINK THATS THE BEST WAY

You sound pretty smart and talented. I had to go through life not knowing what was causing my own eccentricities, difficulty to relate at school, poor motor coordination etc. I managed to have some measure of success in the working world and I also like to write, but I found it a release and an answer to everything that had gone before, when I was diagnosed in my 40s.

You may or may not be on the spectrum - I would suggest a reputable test by a qualified professional. Whatever the outcome, there's nothing to fear! Perhaps you have a mild HFA. But we who are mere members can't diagnose you one way or the other.

Youth has this tendency to be desperate to fit in and it can be a tough time indeed. However, if I got through it you will too. I was truly mixed up! There was very little knowledge about AS when I was growing up. But you wouldn't easily pick my non-NT-ness easily either, unless you knew me really well.

We all cringe when remembering our awkward moments. But don't dwell on them. You sound like you're managing just fine as far as popularity, sports etc go. (I never managed team sports well - batted to catch balls due to motor coordination/hand-eye coordination) Cycling also presented difficulty due to balance but I did lots of running and hiking.

I don't think there's anything in your post that will cause offence to anyone. Thanks for your post and I hope you find some useful input here on WP.

First of all, take a look at the diagnosis criteria https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-dsm.html

There are also online tests you could take. If you identify with a lot of symptoms you should seek professional diagnosis.

You don't sound autistic to me - at least from how you describe yourself. Trauma can have symptoms that can overlap with ASD.

You say you started having these thoughts 2 months ago - did anything triggered this? Did you read something about it or something traumatic happened to you (you mentioned bulling)?

You might also be going through an identity crisis and trying to find your way, which is very common at your age too.

I don't see very much autism within what you have written.

Yep....we on WrongPlanet cannot diagnose you. Only a certified professional can diagnose you.

Just as a screening tool, I recommend you AspieQuiz: http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
It can give you some initial ideas for further digging.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?

Good on you for reaching out.

There are multiple online tests designed to give you an indication whether investigating further with a professional would be helpful. To anyone with any questions in this vein, I'd strongly encourage them to take those tests and use them as designed, i.e. inquire further with professionals, if indicated.

Whether or not you are on the spectrum, I think you're here because you have some sense that life could be better if you had a better grasp of what's up.

Do start with the online tests as mentioned, but I suggest going further with your G.P. The goal of this discussion should be to choose the most appropriate clinical psychologist with what's known about your state of mind, then get a referral to go see them.

Consider psychiatrists to be a potential danger zone until you've tried the above first. My saying this comes from my learnings about the medical model vs the social model of disability. Try finding Nathan Selove on youtube and his videos on medical model vs social model, if you want to know more.

Maybe take a look at the traits of autism vs. the symptoms of social anxiety and see how they relate to you. We can't diagnose you because (1) we aren't qualified and (2) it's not in person. But there are screening tests for a multitude of issues online - they don't diagnose you either, but should give you a better idea if you should give any of them serious consideration.

Bottom line: if your quality of life is being impacted by something, look into it. If you're doing fine (friends, job, whatever success is to you), then I personally wouldn't worry about it. And I wouldn't worry about missing cues unless you are losing friends...everyone misses social cues sometimes.