Manoeuvring in a busy shop - anyone else?

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firemonkey
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29 Feb 2020, 11:16 am

Stepdaughter took me shopping around noon today . Supermarket was busier than usual . It was not easy manoeuvring my way round the other shoppers . I got anxious . Several times I wanted to look at things, but there were people blocking the way . I didn't feel up to asking them to move.

Left eye was playing up(not the strabismus one) . It was hard to keep it fully open. Indeed most of the time it was at most half open .



Ade C
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01 Mar 2020, 4:48 pm

I bloody hate busy shops. In fact I hate busy anywhere. People are just so unpredictable in their movements. I try and pick quiet times



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01 Mar 2020, 5:43 pm

I get massive anxiety and can't deal with busy shops. I order my groceries online for this exact reason. If I have to go into a shop, I'll only get two or three things as fast as I can and get out. I try to go during quiet times too, and bring my headphones and at least one stim toy to keep me preoccupied. I had a meltdown at Walmart a couple of weeks ago because the anxiety and noise got too bad. I sat on the floor in the middle of the self checkout beating my head with my hands. I was lucky that my speech therapist was with me and was able to get me out. I got a few good whacks to the head against the brick exterior, but she found me a mostly quiet spot and helped me calm down. I hate shopping with a passion.


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darkwaver
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01 Mar 2020, 6:02 pm

I have a hard time with this too, and it's worse now that I'm older. I walk slowly and try hard to stay away from other shoppers, if that fails I stop and stare at something on a shelf until they go around me.
I try to go during the least busy times too. If a store is too crowded, I tend to panic.



firemonkey
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01 Mar 2020, 6:45 pm

My stepdaughter made it clear I'd be going in the supermarket , rather than doing it online , when I moved here . As it is parking isn't easy , being just for residents , and to get to my flat you have to go up a flight of stairs .

When doing a main shop I'm reliant on having someone go round the s/market with me , and it fitting in with their work schedule . Ideally I'd like to stick to one day for shopping , but that's not always possible . I don't know if it's a lack of cognitive flexibility , but knowing what to get can be hard if there's 5 then 9 days between shopping .

Usually we go at a time when it's not overly busy . The worst thing can be the supermarket lighting .



Joe90
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01 Mar 2020, 8:26 pm

StarTrekker wrote:
I get massive anxiety and can't deal with busy shops. I order my groceries online for this exact reason. If I have to go into a shop, I'll only get two or three things as fast as I can and get out. I try to go during quiet times too, and bring my headphones and at least one stim toy to keep me preoccupied. I had a meltdown at Walmart a couple of weeks ago because the anxiety and noise got too bad. I sat on the floor in the middle of the self checkout beating my head with my hands. I was lucky that my speech therapist was with me and was able to get me out. I got a few good whacks to the head against the brick exterior, but she found me a mostly quiet spot and helped me calm down. I hate shopping with a passion.


I don't hate shopping, I just hate the people.
The only type of people I like are elderly people. I know some of you will argue that they're slow, but to me they are predictable, quiet, and they seem to respect other people's personal space. The people I find most overwhelming are parents with kids. The kids see the supermarket as a playground and have no motor skills suitable for a non-playground environment, and the babies seem to think that the supermarket is the best place in the world to throw a tantrum the whole time they're in there. And if you make any sort of hint that you are feeling irritated or overwhelmed, the parents look at you as if to say "how dare you dislike my loud, grizzly, boisterous little darling?" - even though it's nothing against their child personally, it's just that I have a hard time tolerating other people's kids when I'm trying to do my shopping.
I'm not bothered about having supermarkets being super quiet with dimmed lights for an hour, but I would appreciate a child-free hour, where parents with small children aren't welcome in the store, although this would be difficult because there is a small percentage of sweet, quiet and well-behaved children that just stay close to their parents in the store and are calm.


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firemonkey
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01 Mar 2020, 8:41 pm

Here in Wiltshire there's far less 'death race 2000' trolley pushers than there was in Southend.



Archmage Arcane
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02 Mar 2020, 9:02 am

I'm decidedly not fond of crowded places, and crowded stores are my least favorite. There seems to be two types of shopper (the Death Race 2000 carts) who make it much worse. One type frequents Wal-Mart and the other is found in Trader Joe's. They want their precious stuff even if they have to run people over to get it.

Would be nice to look at all the items in a Trader Joe's sometime. I last about 10 minutes in there before I have to leave. That place should be used as the prime example of an ASD-unfriendly business.



MyNameisNic
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02 Mar 2020, 10:05 am

Archmage Arcane wrote:
I'm decidedly not fond of crowded places, and crowded stores are my least favorite. There seems to be two types of shopper (the Death Race 2000 carts) who make it much worse. One type frequents Wal-Mart and the other is found in Trader Joe's. They want their precious stuff even if they have to run people over to get it.

Would be nice to look at all the items in a Trader Joe's sometime. I last about 10 minutes in there before I have to leave. That place should be used as the prime example of an ASD-unfriendly business.


YESSSS!! ! I just spoke with my therapist about Trader Joe's and she had a sh***y solution: go in there with someone but make sure they are a little farther away than is comfortable to force me to navigate through the sea of people. She said only when I begin to hyperventilate should I ask for help. She thinks it's just a fear I can get over. I felt completely disregarded and misunderstood. I kept telling her that she doesn't understand. You can't take a single step in that store without feeling overwhelmed. It's even worse than Walmart and Walmart is BAADDDD. What I found helps is noise cancelling headphones playing something to calm me down, a fidget toy or stress ball, and staying close to someone who will help me navigate through the crowds safely. I still panic given all that, but I have fewer full-blown meltdowns if all of the above is with me. I want to eventually get my puppy to become my service dog so she can help keep crowds away and protect me. If I have a meltdown she can press her head on me to calm me. Personally, that would be the only way I'd be willing to go to a busy supermarket alone. I hope that helps. So to summarize: active noise cancelling headphones, fidget or stress toy, a person you trust or service animal to help you navigate through crowds.


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firemonkey
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02 Mar 2020, 10:34 am

Ok - this not a how busy the shop is one and perhaps a little silly . I do much better with a shopping list which I give to my stepdaughter . She then leads to me to the aisle , and spot on the aisle where an item can be found .

At my last address when going in the supermarket I went on memory without any list to direct my focus . I'd end up somewhat overwhelmed by the sheer amount of products in the store !