Wierd Intelligence.

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I have wierd intelligence. I am a bit backward in many ways. Social situations I come across as thick. I can miss hints and just not get where a conversation is going. My use of English is limited. The words I use are ones I use again and again where those rarely used words ai forget what they mean, even when I have been told what they mean again and again, and other languages... You can almost forget it!

And yet, at the same time I come up as above average intelligence. How can someone who is socially thick also have above average intelligence? Are the intelligence tests and exams I took in certain subjects faulty? Or is my brain blinkered and has great intelligence in certain ways but hopeless in others.

For example. I don't know how to express my feelings to another when asked in a direct way. I get mind blank and talk around the question to try to come back to it from another angle. But ask me something to do with trains or something that requires me to give some information that I know from something I am interested in and I am in my element.

I don't think I am normal somehow in this way. It is rather like watching Mr Bean who has excellent exam results in certain subjects but no one quite knows how he does it! Haha! (Though one subject even I am puzzled in which is Maths. I either get very high or pretty low results and I could not tell you what I did differently from one exam to the next. I have never been able to fathom out this inconsistancy! I went from failing a whole Engineering course to resitting Maths and getting 100% in the exam. But I failed the engineering on my maths! I just don't get it! How?).

You are neurodivergent!

And thats OK

Is that the same as nero diverse? Don't I need a certificate of assessment to be one?

Actually, when I am assessed, whatever I am, will anything be different after a certificate? I will still be me...
In some ways I don't want to change. My fear is I will be put on some sort of brain reprogramming scheme or some mind altering medicine. I will not be found ever again if they try that! As I can't think of being anything different to being me. I like being me. I don't know anything else.

Maybe it might be better not to be assessed so I can keep being me? I have time to back out.

Yes. Its just slight variation in precise terminology that's all!

I'm not aware of any programme to alter the ASD mind - no one can change the way that you are wired

I didn't get a certificate - I did however get a written report that confirmed my diagnosis and that has been incorporated into my NHS health file and my HR file at work. Aside from greater employment rights and ability to access funded support in the future if needed I also have confirmation of a frame of reference for piecing together various aspects of my life in therapeutic way. Its also a frame of reference for my family and in this context has been very helpful indeed.

Nothing has changed in my head otherwise - I am still who I have always been.

I suppose that's where the puzzle piece symbol came from. NTs have an even harder time accepting the way our brain works. For along time I accepted the directly ASD limitations like social communication. Only reasonantly, after studying ASD here and elsewhere, do I understand limitations like executive function.

MG, remember when you learned about autism on here and had those revelations where parts of your life suddenly made sense for the first time.
Regardless of the piece of paper, if the things you learned (before you were filled with doubts) changed your life for the better and allowed you to be more healthy and especially to engage in self care, then hold onto those revelations and dont doubt them.
People on the autism spectrum tend to have uneven cognitive profiles, strong in some areas, weaker in others and everyone is different... If you've met one person on the autism spectrum, you've met one person on the autism spectrum.
For me executive functioning plays a large role in how well I function in day to day life, pre burn out I was capable of much more than I am now, it's (anecdotally) a common experience.

A lot of people have this. I have even heard of incredibly intelligent and well spoken ASD with advanced degrees consistently scoring 70s on their IQ tests. "Normal" measurements of intellect are frequently not helpful for many people.

For most of my life, I assumed that socially mobile people were smarter than I, and just kidding about having trouble with math to get out of work. Eventually, I realized that my EQ is less than half my IQ. Intelligence is extremely spotty. Stories abound of advanced scientists who lack common sense in daily life.

Most IQ tests don't evaluate social skills. That's how you can score above average even though you may be "socially thick."

I got told when I was diagnosed that it is very common for those on the spectrum (if you happen to be after you go through the diagnosis process) to be very good in some areas and very bad in others. I'm sure even outside the spectrum this can happen as of course we aren't all the same and there is also being borderline. I find that while I stumble a bit socially and clearly people can sense something is off by the fact they treat me as if I am younger, people often also assume that I do really well in subjects and say I apparently come off as quite intelligent. I think that some times you just can have severe difficulties in some areas but it doesn't mean you can't be brilliant in others