Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

DoniiMann
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 611
Location: Tasmania

16 Jun 2020, 12:59 am

They say that 80% of us are unemployed or underemployed. Woeful numbers. I look with envy at the 20%, not because they have material wealth, recognition, or because they're on the greener side of the fence, but rather that they have activity which they can act upon.

I wonder what it would take to shift myself across the ratio divide and think a successful strategy might subdivide to three bullet points.
*The Goal (activity, thingie, whatever).
*The Macro/Glory Activities that obviously lead there.
*Habits. Micro-activities running in the background that would support The Goal™ and would probably be beneficial to other aspects of life.

Soooooo..... I'm curious. Has anybody here attempted to deliberately ingrain habits into your life? I mean consciously chosen habits.


_________________
assumption makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'mption'.


uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,586

16 Jun 2020, 3:14 am

I have / do. It takes a lot of self-discipline.

Your three bullet points is basic goal-setting theory. "What is the goal / how do I get there / what behaviors help get there" is a basic form of executive function, and how most people decide courses of action. It is not easy, because change usually involves discomfort and self discipline, doing things you don't normally want to do.

Self-discipline is about doing something because it is necessary, regardless of whether or not you want to do it. It is "necessary" because it tends to cause a desired outcome. I do not enjoy studying, but it is necessary if I want to do well in school. I could say "I do not like to study, therefore I cannot do well in school" - but I can also say "I do not like studying, but I am going to do it anyways, so I *can* do well in school, because studying, whether I enjoy it or not, helps with doing well in school". The hard part is the doing. Nobody wants to do things they don't want to do.

Most of my useful habits are consciously chosen and deliberately ingrained. I am who I have chosen to be. Usually.



blazingstar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2017
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,234

16 Jun 2020, 4:50 am

Yes. Uncommondenominator said it well. It is hard work, but worth it. I read somewhere it takes six weeks to establish a new habit.


_________________
The river is the melody
And sky is the refrain
- Gordon Lightfoot


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

16 Jun 2020, 4:54 am

The 80% unemployment figure is for all autistic people, not just those who are “employable.”



DoniiMann
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 611
Location: Tasmania

16 Jun 2020, 3:52 pm

Thanks all for the insights. I've spent many years trying to come up with a goal, but never succeeded and now think I never will. However, I'm at a point where I can see the value of installing some good habits for improving quality of life and maybe boosting self esteem.


_________________
assumption makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'mption'.


uncommondenominator
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Aug 2019
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,586

16 Jun 2020, 6:08 pm

Ken Block started rally driving when he was almost 40. Alan Rickman started acting when he was over 50. I watched a 98 year old man walk across stage to get his college diploma. It's never too late to set a goal.

But people tend to talk themselves out of goals. "I can't do it" or "it will take too long" or "it's not really worth it" or "I'm just going to fail so why bother" or any other reasons people make up as to why they "can't" do something or another. People get in their own way by deciding what they can or can't do, without even putting in the effort. They use failure as an excuse - "I'll never get it right" they say, not realizing that everyone fails until they succeed. If you never do it, you can't get better at it. If you never do it, you can't get good at it. When you look at other people who are good at things, all you see is that they are good at it - you don't see the years of practice that went into it prior.

Success isn't just doing something and getting it right. Success is doing it over and over UNTIL you get it right. Success is not letting failure dissuade you from trying again. It's easy to say "I can't do it". It takes discipline to say, "I can't do it NOW, but I am going to keep doing it until I can do it BETTER".

Any goal can be an acceptable goal, and it's never too late to pick one. When done for the right reasons, self-improvement is seldom wasted effort.



blazingstar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2017
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,234

16 Jun 2020, 6:47 pm

DoniiMann wrote:
Thanks all for the insights. I've spent many years trying to come up with a goal, but never succeeded and now think I never will. However, I'm at a point where I can see the value of installing some good habits for improving quality of life and maybe boosting self esteem.


Seems like a good plan to me.


_________________
The river is the melody
And sky is the refrain
- Gordon Lightfoot


Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

17 Jun 2020, 9:01 am

I have a strong suspicion about things like habits that I saw being used to avoid unpleasant truth. A habit is a powerful thing, and should be selected with care and caution, because it will change both you and your perception of it.
"Never be afraid of a little luxury" said the old minister to the young one "It will become a necessity soon enough."
That said, most people I admire have strong self-discipline, working harder than most, and the times I have imposed more structure on my own life have worked pretty well.