I don't know what to do
I only have one friend I ever spend time with. Everyone else I knew has moved on with their lives years ago, and I don't have opportunities to make new friends. I work from home, so I'm not meeting anyone through work. I'm in grad school, but all my classes are online. I used to go to a gaming group before quarantine, but I never established any relationships with anyone in the group. I feel lonely all the time.
I'm not happy where I live. I don't like living in the US anymore. I'm tired of all racism, identity politics, unaffordable healthcare, obsession with guns, etc... Even worse, I'm trapped a conservative Bible Belt state that voted for Donald Trump and where everyone is obsessed with church and religion. I've thought of moving to Canada or Japan, but I don't have the means to relocate to another country.
My family lives in another country and I haven't seen them in years. I miss them, especially my nieces and nephews. But I can't just move over there. The country is unstable socially and economically. Plus, its a Muslim majority country, and my family are all Muslims. And as an atheist and ex-Muslim, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of being stuck there. Plus, I don't know if I would be able to get therapy and/or meds I need there either.
So I really just don't know what to do. As I mentioned, I'm currently in grad school, but what will I do after that?
Last edited by dorkseid on 08 Jul 2020, 9:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm not happy where I live. I don't like living in the US anymore. I'm tired of all racism, identity politics, affordable healthcare, obsession with guns, etc... Even worse, I'm trapped a conservative Bible Belt state that voted for Donald Trump and where everyone is obsessed with church and religion. I've thought of moving to Canada or Japan, but I don't have the means to relocate to another country.
My family lives in another country and I haven't seen them in years. I miss them, especially my nieces and nephews. But I can't just move over there. The country is unstable socially and economically. Plus, its a Muslim majority country, and my family are all Muslims. And as an atheist and ex-Muslim, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of being stuck there. Plus, I don't know if I would be able to get therapy and/or meds I need there either.
So I really just don't know what to do. As I mentioned, I'm currently in grad school, but what will I do after that?

Jokes Aside. Don't worry about what your going to do after. Just worry about getting by day to day. Secondly, Trump does not speak for the majority of Americans. Idk exactly what state you Live in but not everyone is a trump supporter. Americans can be a bit excessive at times.. That being said there are plenty of americans who aren't racist,
Sometimes americans can be extreme but there's no need to overreact this is a stressful time for a lot of people who aren't on the spectrum. People with disabilities everywhere are struggling. A-lot of people aren't happy to be american right now. I know if I wasn't totally out of the loop.
As for what you do after grad school. It really depends on what you went to grad school for. I'd assume you'd get a job. I wouldn't worry to much about that atm. I'd worry about that when you're nearing graduation. (Are you nearing graduation? As for you're family, It might help to contact them but moving back might cause more problems than it'd help.
Why did you decide to go into grad school? The Awnser to that should help steer you towards what to do next. What are you goals? What do you want your life to be like? These are some questions you should be asking yourself.
_________________
[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup
Last edited by Pieplup on 08 Jul 2020, 8:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Special education.
I've been wanting to travel abroad to teach English for years. I have my TESOL. But I'm afraid to go to another country where I don't know anybody. I have a history of emotional breakdowns, and I don't know if I'll be able to find a doctor or meds if I need them.
Could you offer to tutor people online (or in person, post-covid)? That might be a good way to increase your human interactions. You could also see if any universities need volunteer "conversation partners" or "ambassadors" for their ESL students from overseas. Different schools have different names for the program, but basically you are a resource for learning figures of speech, venting about difficulties navigating stuff in the US, whatever. You basically just commit to hang out with them.
_________________
~AQ 32; not formally diagnosed.~
I've been wanting to travel abroad to teach English for years. I have my TESOL. But I'm afraid to go to another country where I don't know anybody. I have a history of emotional breakdowns, and I don't know if I'll be able to find a doctor or meds if I need them.
You could try a job in the United States first. There are plenty of people here who need ESL instruction. Then you will have experience and references if you decide to work abroad.
Dear_one
Veteran

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
Canada also has plenty of rednecks and other intolerance. Around here, the less-prejudiced stick together like overwhelmed tourists - we would not normally be friends, but there's no one else to talk to. I did well at meeting people by sharing housing, but as a vegetarian, my roommates always had a head start on basic compatibility and similar philosophy. There are also special interest groups for many hobbies, and volunteer organizations where you might meet people. Getting into the (non criminal) news is also a good way to meet people.
I agree with what others have said. During COVID, this is such a crazy time that it's "survival mode" for a lot of people. So until things go back to a higher degree of normalcy, you might be in a kind of arrested development socially, at least for a while. By this I simply mean that it'll be hard to get people to want to meet up with you in person. However, I've had some friends and family asking me to "video chat" with them. I'm not big on it myself, but it helps a lot of people during this time, to stay in contact. I would think you could find ways to connect with colleagues in your grad program this way as well (or others online).
Of course after COVID there's nothing really holding you back, except this majority you've noticed in your area. You could seek work in another more diverse and liberal area, or you could seek out the people in your area who are not of the majority opinion and outlook (like yourself). Universities are often good places to reach out and find likeminded contacts, but the internet is also a really good resource for that. I would think that working from home as an educator would be more challenging than seeing clients in person, so presumably you would seek out work in-person, pending the pandemic's resolution. At the workplace I imagine there would be many opportunities to make friends with others who are relatable.
When I was in graduate school I also had some difficulty making friends at first. I didn't find much to relate to with others in my program, despite us being there for the same thing. I was in a region totally new to me, and having some culture shock as well. The second semester of my first year, I think it was due to some friendly others who reached out to me and welcomed me to come out and socialize with them. It was the start of some really good friendships that continued for the rest of my time there (until I moved back to my home state with my GF at the time).
Idiots are going to exist anywhere you go. That's just the nature of the human species.
But here are the things you don't have to put up with:
Not maintaining your health because you can't afford the doctor's bill.
Wondering when and where the next lunatic with a gun will pop up at random, and whether you or someone you care about may the next victim.
All your tax money going to fund your overinflated military force so they can continue to make unnecessary wars to support the military industrial complex, all while critical infrastructure like education and healthcare keep getting more and more cuts.
Employers being able to legally get away with refusing to provide contraceptive care to female employees, so long as they cite religious reasons. Despite that being a direct violation of your constitution.
Leadership that is completely incompetent in dealing with the current pandemic and enforcing policies that will result directly in thousands of deaths. And who dissolved your pandemic response team years ago so they can put more money into the aforementioned already over funded military.
Just to name a few.
Dear_one
Veteran

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
^^ I live two blocks from a hospital, and am active in the citizen's group that saved it from closing. However, I won't go there now. I went in four years ago with a simple fracture of the thumb, and they never did set it, but ruined my general health with "urgent" distant appointments. The only two competent people there were forced out by petty bureaucrats. The system is run for the administration first, the drug companies (not covered) second, and the patient last, with the doctors reduced to interchangeable prescription clerks to maintain a liability wall for the corporations. The hospital food is a major, ongoing scandal. It took them years to sort out their telephone system. Sadly, treatment is even worse for our native people.
I do support single-payer, public funded health, but it needs system management to keep it working for the patients, and we blew that. The doctors don't see us as their employers now, and have to bend the rules to be helpful.
Idiots are going to exist anywhere you go. That's just the nature of the human species.
But here are the things you don't have to put up with:
Not maintaining your health because you can't afford the doctor's bill.
Wondering when and where the next lunatic with a gun will pop up at random, and whether you or someone you care about may the next victim.
All your tax money going to fund your overinflated military force so they can continue to make unnecessary wars to support the military industrial complex, all while critical infrastructure like education and healthcare keep getting more and more cuts.
Employers being able to legally get away with refusing to provide contraceptive care to female employees, so long as they cite religious reasons. Despite that being a direct violation of your constitution.
Leadership that is completely incompetent in dealing with the current pandemic and enforcing policies that will result directly in thousands of deaths. And who dissolved your pandemic response team years ago so they can put more money into the aforementioned already over funded military.
Just to name a few.
_________________
[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup
Can't relate to that only friends i've ever had are the ones i had before 1st grade. I barely remember that. I can't really pick up the social cues for making friends. Like, this one girl who was in my class when i went to catholic school tried to be my friend for like 2 years. I never picked that up. I don't really feel that lonely. I like being alone. I know i'm young but i'm well past the stage where that should start to come into play, I've never really desired to get into the dating scene. I don't have sexual attraction to anything. Alternatively, Autistic people aren't that rare you could try and find and autistic SO. I'm sure there's an aspie dating site somewhere. But if you've never been involved with an autistic friend or family member, You should know just because they share the same condition doesn't mean they will get along with you. My brother is a huge jerk who just likes to bait people. Also you should keep in mind. You're not that old yet where you should start worrying that you aren't in a serious relationship. As far as being lonely. If it started with the coronavirus. You might wanna try getting social interaction through the internet. It's nice. Just keep in mind a-lot of people don't get married till they are well into their thirties or even fourties.
_________________
[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup