How to talk to neurotypicals without scaring them.

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An annoying thing about talking to neurotypicals is that they usually think you're fighting with them when in fact you're only explaining something in detail. Today I was explaining to a friend about the use of soy protein after muscle training and she almost cried. So I had an idea: I grabbed the teddy bear from her room and repeated what I had said before but with the teddy bear next to me. As I spoke I changed the position of the teddy bear. She laughed but heard what I said more easily. I believe that using flashing, colorful lights will also have a similar effect. Or play amusement park music on your cell phone. Or juggle apples (for those who have the skill to do so. Which is not my case) during the conversation.

I am still working on this. I have overheard coworkers say that they do not understand what I am saying most of the time because I am too technical. I often have to take a moment to paraphrase my responses to convey information in a way that is not received as condescending. This takes time and energy that makes my responses less efficient, which causes anxiety over the whole interaction.

Serious reply here to what I can only hope is a satirical question: relax (if possible at the time) and talk more slowly. That's a plus about being from the Deep South. I have a bit of an accent, more of a Greatest Generation accent than the barbaric drawling heard on the movies or country music. That helps too.

Be whatever it takes: lean further away, don't squint, keep your hands busy and don't wave them.

Honestly, it's like talking to autistic people but the other person is an NT.

Yes. I'm being satirical. It's not a question of talking fast (which I've done a lot), but of going straight to the point. I, when I ask a question, expect the person to speak to me in an objective way. Neurotypicals love to waste time before they get to the point or are inaccurate. It seems offensive to them. Very arid. I know it's their social thing, but to me it's very tedious. I enjoy the precision of the answer.

People either like how I say things bluntly, or they're horrified! I have learned that I'm going to have a lot of people think I'm an atrocious person, and they can sug my dig.
I'm really nice person, but I am not good at following people's long, drawn out answers, and I get visibly frustrated with the individual and they give up because they don't like my facial reaction to their going on and on about fluff and other useless filler. Sorry you like the sound of your voice so much! Sorry that you have a huge ego! Sorry you're so neurotypical and cannot fathom what I'm going through!
For rizzles. Even those silly voice detection thingies like Siri or Alexa or Google have to add in useless filler. I think AI robots should be designed with autistic qualities. Then they'd be more intelligent.

NT's seem to have most of their heads full of social nuances, to the point of not being able to follow logic. I have been posting easy ways to improve machines, saving millions of dollars, and all the professional engineers see is that they would have to stick their necks out and embarrass their professors. Non-techies probably feel distress at the first mention of numbers.

A lot of what's been said here resonates with my feelings about these matters. The idea that our way to success is to learn how to ape the standard NT social pattern has huge problems - it's not natural for a lot of us and it never will be. My gut tells me I'd be trying to sell out if I went that way. I'd probably make a mess of it, and even if I didn't, I'd spend the rest of my life feeling like I'd just made an illusion to attract other people. I'd be secretly bored.

I can't stand these situations where somebody expresses a half-truth and everybody else lines up to say sycophantic things. Nobody seems to want anybody to contradict them or question what they say, they take it as if they're being invalidated as people. That's one of the things I like about good scientists, they welcome criticism of their ideas. With others, it's as if they're incapable of thinking in a collaborative way.

A few weeks ago I ruffled a bloke by asking him what his point was. To me it was a simple, genuine question with no intention of harm. He said "what do you want to know that for?" I explained what I felt ought to be obvious, that I didn't know what point he was making and would like him to explain. But I couldn't get him to just do that. A third party waded in with a "gentlemen, lay down your weapons" thing, and I realised I was wasting my time, I was never going to get the answer. I checked out on the Web whether or not it's rude to say "what's your point?" and somebody reckons it is, and suggested a load of reassuring ways of putting it without giving offense. How to walk on eggshells. I just can't fathom how people can feel so threatened by a simple question.

Sometimes I feel like I have to be Jeeves in a world of Bertie Woosters - he calmly and intelligently always thinks of a reply that neither tells a lie nor directly deflates Bertie's inflated ego, yet Bertie manages to read between the lines and objects to his failure to be sycophantic. It's a neurotypical's world out there, and I think they sometimes sense that I'm not so sure they've got the brains to run things properly.

I think there are better ways of bonding with people that the ways a lot of the world settles for. I think those ways involve being more genuine, dropping a lot of the shallow social gloss and really sharing common interests and goals, helping each other solve problems, doing friendship in more depth, and confining our fears of each other to situations where another person poses a real threat, instead of fussing about harmless eccentricities and failure to do some ritual or other.

this is a poignant thread... but a issue unfortunately rears its ugly head , some rituals can be the very basis for NT community ...Judging which ones need to be sorted , i feel ..this is a difficult issue at best . Prolly best addressed by suggesting NTs get the wax outta their ears ...?

One smart guy I knew would always work up a presentation to bid on an R&D type job, and then prepare presentations for two other ideas with obvious flaws. Then he'd let the beancounters feel important for picking out the right one and telling him to go ahead.