Difficulty using my hands since the last burnout.

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Mountain Goat
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30 Jun 2020, 11:40 am

I had the last burnout last september. My eyesight had deteriated and it alters. Sometimes it is ok. Other times I need to use glasses (For close up). But anyway. I am also struggling with using my hands for small intricate work. I was trying to work on a little narrow gauge locomotive today. Grr. I keep needing to correct typing errors as I type this.
Well. I have to put the little loco to one side as I am doing more harm then good. It makes me frustrated in not being able to do things.
Also trying to get coins out of my wallet and trying to pick them up is difficult. I have to tip all my coins out and slide the right one to the edge of a table to get it, and then hope to get the other coins back in my wallet, which makes it difficult to pay for things in a shop. Not that I can go in shops much these days!
Is it normal to lose ones abilities after burnouts? This has been 9 months and I am no where near right yet. And why is it after each burnout, where it takes usually a couple of years to recover from, that each burnout I tend to be hit worse then the one before? Could these be mental breakdowns or were they burnouts? Who knows!


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greenmm37
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30 Jun 2020, 11:58 am

I'm really sorry that you are going through this right now, particularly considering that it must make model train work difficult. I don't know how helpful this advice will be, but I would imagine if 'burnout' for you means a long period of non-functionality, that could account for the difficulty with using your hands. I would think it's a matter of being 'out of practice', if that makes sense? If you haven't done much intricate work or work with your hands, or if your burnout has left you particularly tired, I would imagine that has to do with some of the dexterity issues (although if they persist over time you should speak to a doctor if you can).

I would recommend, perhaps, to gradually 'practice' regaining the more intricate dexterity by starting to work with larger pieces first and regain that confidence/ability (I apologize if I'm not understanding your issue, this is how I had read your post so please correct me if I'm wrong). I know that, regardless of what the cause or potential solution is, this must be frustrating and all I can say for that is I'm sorry for what this is doing to you. I hope you can find ways to enjoy your interests despite this frustration. I have recently had difficulty doing much of anything, and failing when I try to resume a project, but my goal for myself is to slow things down and focus on gradually reintroducing activity by starting simply and regaining surety.

Best of luck with this, and I hope it gets better soon.



Mountain Goat
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30 Jun 2020, 12:51 pm

Thanks for the reply. It is not what you said. I had burnout last september when I pushed myself too far and reached the moint where I was mentally effected which causes these little problems. That is the only way I can describe it. I had this the last few times I have tried working. The job I knew back to front as on and off I have done it for 30 years.
I think I have about 5 or 6 burnouts since 2007. Each time it was worse then the one before. They may have been mental breakdowns if burnouts are not what I describe. I don't know. Never talked to a doctor about it as I never knew how to describe it and I tend to clam up with brain freeze when visiting doctors if trying to descrive certain things.
While I don't think it was an all out breakdown it was very close. Close enough for me to write down all my important passwords while I could still remember them as I dis not know how much I could take and I was determined to work through the last few days in a real state to reach the end of the contract. For the last five or so years I have only been able to take low hours temporary part time work and each time pushed me into this stage.
I know that it really takes a couple of years to recover.
My problem is I try to get myself ready again before I am ready if that makes sense?
Uhmm. Patience! :D


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greenmm37
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30 Jun 2020, 1:40 pm

Ah, I think I understand better now - thank you for clarifying, and sorry for misunderstanding.

I understand this must be a really difficult thing to go through, from what you've said. I know that as an outsider, my saying "take care of yourself!" can only mean so much, because life is complicated and we don't always know our own limits, but for what it's worth, please take care of yourself!

I agree that it is difficult to have patience and take the time to recover, but I hope you can and will. Do you have ways to engage with your interests in ways that won't cause further frustration? (you don't have to answer if you don't want, I understand this might be a painful subject)



Mountain Goat
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30 Jun 2020, 2:00 pm

I am ok. It is often difficult to describe as it feels a bit like I have cramp between my two arms and occasionally I am dropping things.
I am alive and well...


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30 Jun 2020, 5:42 pm

In ballet, they say that if you don't practice for a day, you know it. If you don't practice for two days, the company knows it. If you don't practice for three days, the audience knows it. The more precise your work, the harder it is to maintain excellence. I do simple jobs when the tricky ones are too much, until I get good again.



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30 Jun 2020, 6:28 pm

I've been losing fine motor control and proprioception as I have been aging. Whether it is due to burn outs or aging or altered neurology I've become more aware of, I have found I can make small improvements by practicing and doing it more slowly and concentrating on what I am doing.

It feels "stupid" to have to look at my fingers, slow way down to slo mo, and concentrate hard on making deliberate movements, but it works. I make adjustments as necessary. Then I practice in slo mo the action several times. Over time I can speed this up.

For priprioception, I practice with my eyes closed, of course.


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Mountain Goat
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30 Jun 2020, 6:38 pm

More suseptable when feeling fragile after burnout. I need to use my finger under a cup to make sure I don't loose my grip. My hands go weak and I can easily drop things. But when I am less stressed, and have had a while of being more relaxed, my gripping abilities and other abilities come back to me and I can do things again.
When it gets bad I have to print in capitals instead of handwrite, but when I am good I can hand write ok without any issues.
It has nothing to do with practice. It is more that I have the strength but am unable to make use of it.
It is not a serious concern but it is noticeable.


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12 Jul 2020, 3:21 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
I had the last burnout last september. My eyesight had deteriated and it alters. Sometimes it is ok. Other times I need to use glasses (For close up). But anyway. I am also struggling with using my hands for small intricate work. I was trying to work on a little narrow gauge locomotive today. Grr. I keep needing to correct typing errors as I type this.
Well. I have to put the little loco to one side as I am doing more harm then good. It makes me frustrated in not being able to do things.
Also trying to get coins out of my wallet and trying to pick them up is difficult. I have to tip all my coins out and slide the right one to the edge of a table to get it, and then hope to get the other coins back in my wallet, which makes it difficult to pay for things in a shop. Not that I can go in shops much these days!
Is it normal to lose ones abilities after burnouts? This has been 9 months and I am no where near right yet. And why is it after each burnout, where it takes usually a couple of years to recover from, that each burnout I tend to be hit worse then the one before? Could these be mental breakdowns or were they burnouts? Who knows!
My experiences with burnout are more like
[list]
[*] Feel more pain in general
[*] All my conditions get worse can't focus, my dysgraphia gets worse, etc.
[*] Speech problems get worse
[*] Run into things alot.
[*] Forget what i'm doing Like if i'm going to say the bathroom i'll just forget about it while walking there. Can happen multiple times in a row
[*] Manic Episodes (sometimes)
[*] Depression-like symptoms
[*] Less Patience
[*] Being tired all the time
[*] Can't remember thing well.
[*] Become more withdrawn
so Yes it seems it fits the definition of burnout.

I don't nearly have as much experience in burnout as some of the people here, but some of the things that help are eliminating stressors. Get plenty of rest. There isn't much you can do to cope with burnout try to do things you find pleasurable to recuperate. As for the time it takes to recover from burnout. Idk, TBH things have started happening since burnout that didn't happen before. Speech problems are a prime example of that. As for the length of recovery. It shouldn't take more than a month or two. Also you need to rest to get rid of burnout. You can just trudge through it. and the more you do it the worse you get. I think liek the longest it took me to recover from burnout was maybe 6 months. Burnout is hard to deal with because you can't really just deal with burnout. Honestly I don't hand write much. Even without burnout, I can't write very legabily. Lined Paper helps but only so much. There isn't much you can do about it.

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