Autistic Burnout - how to recover?

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Dear all,

Have you ever suffered through a really bad burnout or breakdown?

I'm in the middle of the mother of all burnouts thanks to a long string of incredibly unfortunate circumstances. Things came to a head for me a week and a half ago. I'd started a stressful new job, only to get bullied during my first week there. Then I got some horrendously bad news, then my best friend became super angry at me and *then* I had to go into quarantine as a possible coronavirus case (I got tested, it was negative. My heart bleeds for everyone dealing with that horror, especially for people who can't even get a test).

Things have been awful for the last year and a half, and now with all this - I feel completely demolished, physically, emotionally and mentally. Gravity feels ten times stronger. I'm crying for no reason, my memory's gone to pieces, and I'm losing all my skills. I feel feverish, nauseated, shattered and panicky. Everything aches, even just daylight. I'm making a heroic effort just to write this.

I've been trying all the helpful things - self-care, quiet alone time, my special interests, lots of sleep, cancelling plans... But this time, it's just not working. Usually, I'd be better after a few days of quiet nerdy-time. But I seem to be getting worse. But I HAVE to be back in work by Saturday. And my psychologist - I know how lucky I am to have one - is on vacation for the next few weeks. I have a limited support network and a hard time explaining this to the dear nypicals in my life.

Can I ask, what do you do when burnout strikes? How long does it usually take for you to feel better? I know there are no real yardsticks here... I guess I'm just hoping for some reason for optimism.

(I'm not suicidal and have no thoughts of harming myself).

Any thoughts or suggestions or shared experiences would help so much right now.

Thanks for reading!
Nina.

TL;DR: I'm stuck in a massive burnout - how to get better?

If conscious stuff is a light energy , then you may need a dark energy balance , ( not as in a bad energy)
But lotsa off time from any responsibilities , Or actual sleep or rest. As in being in a darker room , to sleep in.
Doctor have prescribed me some tranquilizers or herbal tranqs , Passion flower tea. Or Chamomile tea are good for these thingS , but. Need to induce a mindset free from responsibility for a time, some people like to call these things like meditation . Sometimes getting into something that you enjoy focusing on , and letting yourself be completely absorbed in a thing , can get referred to as sort of a zen meditation . Eat light but nourishing meals ,
But these are only my thoughts on this. Best of luck with this situation.

Each burnout I have had effected me worse then the one I had before. It usually took me around two years to fully recover but after six months I was trying to work again... Which pushed me straight back into another burnout!
My problem is that I give something like 200% when in work, so I can quickly burn out.
I am ok for the first few days and then things go downhill from there! Also partial shutdowns increase and shutdowns... And they are exhausting and my sleeping patterns go haywire... It all esculates until I end up in a mess!
I had my first burnout around 2007 in my mid 30's and it was the last time I worked full time.
I lost a huge amount since then. A good well paid job. A house. A classic car, and a camper van... It is surprizing how much it effects. I was lucky I was a single man (So I could offload) as I did not know what it was called or even anything about autism. I never knew how to explain to doctors. I would quit work when things got too much. I then had no income. As a single person I offloaded the house and other things to survive, (Moved in with Mum. Dad had passed away by then when I sold my house. Sold it half price just so I could rid myself of the stress of mortgage payments).
Experiencing burnout and recovering one offloads as much as one can. Anything that demands attention goes!

I basically started offloading anything which needed my attention and would deteriate if I could not work on it or put money into it etc.
E.g. house had mortgage and other bills. I sold house cheap at half price so I could break even (I actually broke even when I worked it out in what I had put in). I abandoned all future hopes and dreams and went into survival mode.

@ Jakki, thank you so much for your reply. I'm attracted to the idea of dark energy to balance out light energy - can you tell me more about how you see dark energy? Maybe as an absence of duties, an absence of having to mask, etc? I will definitely also look out for passionflower tea - chamomile has always helped. Thank you.

@Mountain Goat, that resonates so much for me. I'm so sorry you had to go through so much pain and pressure. I'm 36, and I've had similar experiences - having to leave, quit, offload, simply because it was the only way forward. I do think we lose a lot. But at the end of the day, taking basic care of ourselves has to come first...

If you have been assessed already (I am on a list waiting for an assessment), then it is an idea that if you are living in the UK to visit your doctor and ask for help because trying to work while in burnout can make things worse.
The Victorians had it right when they sent people to live by the seaside to recover for a few months.

Some have burnouts that they can recover from quicker. I found the last time that I was glitching between masking (Normal) and unmasking where I was mentally going back to the age I was before I started masking, which I was around six years old?
While in work I was having strings of partial shutdowns one after the next after the next. Trying to work like this and trying to prevent full shutdowns at the same time, where when I was in a partial shutdown, every movement I made felt like I was wearing a heavy iron suit of armour... I was in a mess.

I first burned out at 13. Mainly because I was trying to deal with my PTSD (It seems really likely that was it), my autism, and school (which since i got good grades and was to proud to act out, the school refused to help me). I also had to put a great deal of effort into learning algebra as well. I'm a huge perfectionist. Since I learned from a young age to push past the things I found hard to do and to not trust anyone. I refused to let anyone in out of stubborn pride. I probably burned out cause I tried to do the impossible because I absolutely love proving people wrong. Video game based entirely on motor control.. Where do I sign up? I can't accept the impossible. If I think something is possible I'll spend hours dedicating myself to it obsessively. If I struggle to do something, I simply didn't give a f**k till burnout happened. I still struggle to ask people for help to this day. It's partly due to trust issues partly due to my foolish notion that nothing is impossible.
As for how to recover from burnout. Truth is after burnout YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. Recovering from burnout takes me atleast 3 months of barely doing anything. Burnout can happen in less than a week. You have to try to eliminate stressors and avoid doing things that aren't necessary. You really can't cope with burnout only try to prevent it. So you're goign to have to either quite the job or take a leave of absense. I wish you the best of luck. s

I found an interesting article on it here: https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/autis ... explained/

It sounds like the thing to do is remove yourself from the stressful situation for as long as necessary. The fact that you can identify what is stressing you out shows a lot of insight into your condition, though. I seem to remember when I was burning out heavily, I just didn't have insight into what was really bothering me which caused it to spiral. Self-knowledge is a big step towards being able to prevent and recover from burnout.