Conversation and relating to random people Advice needed

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How do you find relating to random people and being able to follow a conversation with NT's ?? Anyone else find it exhausting engaging in conversation with people ? Does anyone else feel exhausted? Like especially when you feel aware that not making eye contact is rude so you kinda force your self to . I'm not sure if it's kinda like a depressed / anxiety feeling and I'm not getting anything done that I'm supposed to like cooking and washing and I seem to be getting very withdraw from everything and I feel like I'm almost getting agoraphobia but not sure if it's from stress of conversation with others and for example I did shopping and bought new kitchen stuff and haven't even put new stuff away from Saturday could I be not recovered from my shopping trip as it was the second time in two years and i struggle so bad with organising things even when I try make a checklist. Does these things happen to you? I'm very tired and simple things seem impossible. Lastly how do you generally respond to indirect questions. I am really lost. Advice anyone? Thx.

D.

Yes, I find interacting with people exhausting. I'm a lot happier during lockdown because I have less people to talk to. Thinking of appropriate responses is draining.

What do you mean by "indirect" questions?

I mean like I feel like conversations seem metaphoric to me but I'm not sure how to describe it. Maybe it's my interpretation that seems jumbled up or if I just can't seem to follow conversations with others. And how do you find timing with jumping in on an already in progress conversation. If that makes sense. How do you gauge the way that you feel when you are not sure if you are correctly getting the right interpretation of someone elses feeling towards you when you have nothing to relate it to with like a time or event. I don't think I understand my own feelings unless I've kinda felt like it before. Sorry I'm really struggling with trying to explain it as coherently possible. Advice?

I think I'm pretty low on the NT sliding scale but the average NT can talk for hours and I have to use the jedi force to maintain attention as they can be damn boring....

I think I understand what you mean by boring. I don't have any friends who have the same interests as me. Is this what you meant by boring?

My Jedi force is to keep my appearance of understand NT's and attention is just to rhyme in my head as it seems the only way to retain information. Let alone trying to absorb the confusion and trying to keep on track talking . I seem to find I annoy people if I seem uninterested in talking but I live in a busy place so it's hard to not look stupid or seem ignorant to people it's just I am not sure if I understand others meanings right . Where I said before unless I have attached thought or vibe from it stored prior. If that makes sense?

Yes, I think I've lived long enough to store a library of how people react to things and what certain phrases mean. I'm almost 40.

I don't bother joining group conversations unless it's with people I know really well. I find if people are engrossed in talking to each other they really can't be bothered even trying to make room for an extra.

I look for people standing by themselves and strike up a conversation with them.

I found conversation with NTs to be quite easy. I just sit there and listen. Most times I do not say a word. But when I wish to interject something into the conversation that is where I find difficulty. NTs will discuss something for a short period of time and then switch to a different subject. If I try to say something it is generally interpreted as interrupting the conversation. But if I wait for a pause, I generally miss it because they have already changed to another topic and no longer wish to discuss the initial topic.

For me, it is primarily a sync problem. I am off on a different wavelength and cannot sync my conversations to theirs.

I too find it exhausting and difficult to have conversations. There is so much to keep track of. First I have to listen to what they are saying and try to understand it, while also getting the tone so I can make appropriate responses, like laughing if they are trying to make a joke or looking concerned if they are upset about something. I have to simultaneously not miss what they are saying, make appropriate facial expressions, and think of something to say to respond. It really is exhausting.

My suggestions are: First of all, people usually like to talk and like to talk about themselves and about the things they care about, so being a good listener is usually more prized than being someone who has interesting things to say. So I try to just ask questions about their day or about their kids or pets or whatever else it is that I know about them. Like if someone in their family has been ill I will make sure to ask about that first. Have some stock questions ready that you can ask anyone you find yourself in a conversation with. Something not too intrusive, that shows that you care about them, like the topics I mentioned earlier.

Have a stock of routine responses you can make, like "I know, right?" to show you agree with them and have felt the same way. Or, "Yeah, I know what you mean." Or "Wow, that sucks," if they're telling you about a problem. Or "I'm so sorry," if they're telling you about a serious problem. Or just nodding and looking attentive.

I usually don't worry about eye contact. If I get it wrong, like look at them too much, it makes me look weirder than if I just don't make eye contact. It helps if you have something in your hand like a beverage and then you can look away to drink from it.