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Dengashinobi
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27 Feb 2023, 6:12 pm

I have the feeling that my autism is caused by some sort of lack of inner motivation. What makes NTs different from autistics is their liveliness. They seem highly motivated about life. Reminds me whatching the Bukowski tapes. At one point Charles Bukowski recounting his childhood, he noticed how other kids would engage in fights and would be so immersed in it while he wouldn't feel that motivation. This is how I felt all of my life. I feel that there must be something neurological in that direction. I mean, the social deficits can be explained by a lack of feeling reward from socialising. Also the special interests are different from normal interests in the sense that they are not functional, they are not benefit oriented. That means that autistic people may not feel the reward from engaging in beneficial activities, like NTs do. With no proper reward pathways we are disconnected from seeking the advantageous in this world. Therefore our difficulties with happiness.

There seems to be some serious (in my opinion) research on the topic. Here are two sources:

https://mappingignorance.org/2018/09/03 ... in-autism/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32914568/



Edna3362
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27 Feb 2023, 6:35 pm

Sure.

From my own point of view of being asocial;
The reward I get from social interaction is the outcome of social interaction -- if it goes well or if it aligns with whatever goal I have, not social interactions in itself.

And it's got nothing to do with the individual interacting me -- the only way that mattered is how I associate a particular individual, which itself, not a reward, but more like a buffer from uncertainty...
Or anticipate; positively, neutrally or negatively.

Many aspies seem to inclined to default negative associations due to experiences, hoping for good outcomes -- or rather, escape or expect negative outcomes.

Mine is just flat neutral and no expectations except for those who I really care enough about. It's just me -- if someone bothers me, if someone bothers me from being busy or from being bored.
The former would be disruptive, but the latter would be all well and good.

It would matter to those who feel lonely and want a place in this world full of NTs.
:lol: But that doesn't matter to me.


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skibum
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28 Feb 2023, 10:43 am

I don't know if I would go so far to say that this is the cause of Autism. It is something that happens in Autistic people, but I don't know if I would stretch that to the cause of Autism.


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28 Feb 2023, 10:46 am

You might be on to something; although I'd say personally I'm highly motivated, it's just that "things fall off my plate" so easily I constantly lose track of what I'm doing, except for immediately.


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skibum
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28 Feb 2023, 10:58 am

Dengashinobi wrote:
I have the feeling that my autism is caused by some sort of lack of inner motivation. What makes NTs different from autistics is their liveliness. They seem highly motivated about life. Reminds me whatching the Bukowski tapes. At one point Charles Bukowski recounting his childhood, he noticed how other kids would engage in fights and would be so immersed in it while he wouldn't feel that motivation. This is how I felt all of my life. I feel that there must be something neurological in that direction. I mean, the social deficits can be explained by a lack of feeling reward from socialising. Also the special interests are different from normal interests in the sense that they are not functional, they are not benefit oriented. That means that autistic people may not feel the reward from engaging in beneficial activities, like NTs do. With no proper reward pathways we are disconnected from seeking the advantageous in this world. Therefore our difficulties with happiness.

There seems to be some serious (in my opinion) research on the topic. Here are two sources:

https://mappingignorance.org/2018/09/03 ... in-autism/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32914568/
I also know plenty of nts who are not motivated about life at all. I am Autistic and I am extremely motivated about the things that I love in life. You can't get to the level of skiing that I have been able to get to without being excessively motivated. In fact, I tend to be much more motivated about things in my life than many nts that I know. The mere fact that I am alive with the combination of disabilities that I have and how I am treated because of them, is proof of a ridiculous and unnatural amount of motivation that I have about life. None of my therapists can understand how I manage to stay alive. I think this is true for many Autistic people. As badly as some of us are treated on a daily basis and as difficult as mere existence is because nts have created a society that we can't easily thrive in, the fact that so many of us are doing as well as we are is proof that we have incredible motivation.

I also know for a fact that my "social deficits" are not caused by a lack of feeling rewarded from socializing. I know exactly what causes my social differences and my social struggles and it is definitely not that. And I strongly disagree that special interests are different from normal interests because they are non functional and not benefit oriented. Special interests are incredibly functional. Their function is so important it can actually be life saving. And many Autistic people end up making successful careers out of their special interests and some even become leading world experts in their fields of special interest.

And I don't know what you mean by beneficial activities. Who has the right to decide whether an activity is beneficial or not to someone? The activities that I engage in are extremely beneficial to me. And my difficulties to happiness have nothing to do with reward pathways. My difficulties with happiness have to do with non Autistic people constantly assaulting and abusing me because I am not like them. If I am allowed to exist authentically, I am an EXTREMELY and ridiculously happy person. In fact, I can feel levels of joy and exuberance and happiness that some nts don't even know exist. But in order for that to happen, the environment must be one that I can actually survive and thrive in.

I also know Autistic people who LOVE socializing. It's not difficult for them because they don't find it rewarding, it's difficult for them because they communicate very differently than nts.

I read both articles by the way. I believe that the brain scans are real and that they show what they show. I just don't think that what you are saying is correct. It might what you think is happening in your life and that is totally fine. I respect that and I can honor that. But there is no way that that is how it is for all Autistic people.


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Last edited by skibum on 28 Feb 2023, 11:28 am, edited 2 times in total.

skibum
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28 Feb 2023, 11:21 am

Edna3362 wrote:
The reward I get from social interaction is the outcome of social interaction -- if it goes well or if it aligns with whatever goal I have, not social interactions in itself.
I agree with this. I never socialize just for the sake of socializing. That is incredibly draining and exhausting for me. I get a feeling of reward when the social interaction is used as a means to an end. The "reward" is based on something different than what nts are rewarded by. The problem I have with all of this is that we are pathologized because we don't measure up to nt ways. My internal reward system might be different, it might be activated by different things than an nts internal reward system is. But it's not wrong.


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28 Feb 2023, 12:49 pm

I had one shot of vodka before a job interview and performed 10x better socially. As in knowing what to say and how to say it etc.
Alcohol blocks the neurotransmitter glutamate . which is high in autistics, so i assume glutamate inhibits social intellect somehow.



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28 Feb 2023, 11:13 pm

Dengashinobi wrote:
I have the feeling that my autism is caused by some sort of lack of inner motivation. What makes NTs different from autistics is their liveliness.

In my experience, autistic people and NT's both vary a lot in terms of how lively they are.

As far as I can tell, lack of motivation is a symptom of depression, not a symptom of autism. Autistic people are much more likely than the average person to be depressed, but depression is not intrinsic to autism.


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Dengashinobi
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01 Mar 2023, 4:52 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Dengashinobi wrote:
I have the feeling that my autism is caused by some sort of lack of inner motivation. What makes NTs different from autistics is their liveliness.

In my experience, autistic people and NT's both vary a lot in terms of how lively they are.

As far as I can tell, lack of motivation is a symptom of depression, not a symptom of autism. Autistic people are much more likely than the average person to be depressed, but depression is not intrinsic to autism.


Yes sure we vary. Also I'm surly no stranger to depression. But I'm not talking about depression. I've also considered myself a highly motivated person, persevering and resilient. I'm talking about something more subtle and pervasive, since I was a child. I'm talking about a lesser ability to feel reward at areas that NTs feel, and which prooves advantageous to them. I'm talking aboud the reward for wanting something. Like the ability to feel reward which makes you want to socialise, just for the sake of it. Or the deterministic seeking for money, sex and prestige that NTs exhibit to various levels of course. While autistics persue "disinterrested" interests. Interests that do not correlate to gratification, except if circumstantialy, like your special interest happens to be a highly sought after service in the market.

Interrestingly you mention depression. Depression seems to be related. While in the case of depression, the reward system seems to be inhibited, in autism seems to be atypicaly inhibited. Also the prevalence of depression in people with autism is four to five times higher, which sugest a correlation.

Also pervasive anxiety is also very high in the autistic population. Anxiety and reward are the two sides of the same coin. So, less feeling of reward/more feeling of anxiety and revulsion, which could also explain the sensory issues.

Here is a link that discusses the relation of autism, reward system, and depression:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... depression



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01 Mar 2023, 9:44 pm

First link: Social reward --- not interested. Show me my information has been used effectively and for good. That will light up my reward pathways! Guess what scientists, NTs don't respond very well when they're shown their information had been used effectively for good. Their brain remains relatively dark. Weird. Apparently, they want someone to pat them on the back or give them a piece of symbolic cheese in front of their peers who clap loudly and make a ruckus. How crazy is that?

Second link: I need a translator, but if the gist is that ASD persons respond differently to NT-biased rewards then that makes a lot of sense. Guess what, scientists? NT persons respond different to ASD-biased rewards also.

In my opinion achievement and energy is personality or upbringing. I'm an achiever. My Autistic mother is an achiever. My Autistic daughter is an achiever. We are self-motivated to the Nth degree and it's annoying to many people. I am the most energetic of all of us which is also annoying to many people. It came from my NT father: personality if you will, ADHD which some studies indicate is correlated with MTHFR A1298C he passed to me which I passed on to my NT son (which neither my non-energetic mom nor daughter have). In the meantime my mother, I and my daughter have the MTHFR C677T correlated to ASD. Yes, I have two MTHFR defects - I'm the luckiest :P . After I made it through the fields of death (up until my 30s), I've done well enough for myself, although as you may know it's a bit of a crap shoot with a hypersensitive nervous system. I'm definitely trying to self-pave reward paths around living.



Dengashinobi
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02 Mar 2023, 3:21 am

SharonB wrote:
I'm definitely trying to self-pave reward paths around living.


Sounds like a nice strategy to me.



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02 Mar 2023, 4:07 am

I do not get any 'high' from exercise. Zero endorphins are released if I physically exert myself to any extent. I just get the physical exhaustion, breathlessness and aching limbs. This is a huge disincentive for me to exercise, no immediate reward at all.


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02 Mar 2023, 5:07 pm

I've got a strong "reward pathway" - I get a lot out of achieving targets I've set myself. If my stream of self-attained results dries up for more than a few hours, I can feel quite down. I suspect there's little else in my life that keeps me happy.

Socially it might be a bit different, and I'm sure I often come away from social encounters not feeling as rewarded as I might. I often think I've failed to do any good, failed to develop anything. But some of it is probably just down to poor social intelligence. I remember visiting a friend who'd had a nervous breakdown, and telling a counsellor that I felt I'd been no help at all. She said that just being there was in itself a good thing. "Being there" never seems to register as anything at all to me, though these days I understand it better on an intellectual level. If nobody ever made contact with me I'd feel very abandoned and lonely, so I guess when I make contact with others then I'm doing some kind of good. Yet to me it never feels like I am at the time.