Have you walked into a room and everyone went silent?

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Is this not one of the most unsettling feelings for *anyone*, NT or ASD/HFA alike... but I think it may be more pronounced for us, due to the angst we feel about always setting foot into a metaphorical minefield when we make any attempt to interact with others...that time when you walk into a room, or a space among a group of peers or co-workers or what-have-you, and they all fall silent???

Maybe there's some subtle smirking or chuckling in the seconds that follow???

I think the only recourse you can use to "clear the air" is to say something like "hey, don't let me distract you, carry on as you were" with a bit of a smirk, just to cue them in

Because the last thing you wanna do is appear paranoid and unsettled, leaving the dead air to linger...

Despite our impairments in socio-emotional intelligence, this one's kinda obvious that they were talking about YOU and not in a good way

Yes.


Yet it depends on the circumstances.
I do not go paranoid about it. Especially not if I hate the noise they make.
They'd give themselves away too much if I'm the topic people are bantering about.

Regardless, I do not relate well with those whose thoughts speaks from social anxiety.

At worst, I'd be annoyed or go shy with unwanted attention -- it is THEY who shouldn't be distracted by ME.



My interpretations are a bit different; I find it amusing instead.

Having been conditioned that when authorities are away, people are usually loud.
And when authorities come, they tend to fall silent.
So if the crowd mistook me for an incoming authority, I'd laugh at them. Or make a laugh for them.

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I'm usually invisible, so people don't even notice when I walk in a room.

Only once as far as I can remember. My employer had poached me into a line of activity that was extremely Aspie-unfriendly. I was undiagnosed at the time. I'd been settled quite well in my normal work. Suddenly there were all these weird expectations. The remit was vague and the job wasn't being managed in a very professional manner. Most of the time I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. As that branch of work was unpopular and people in general resented being sucked into it, the management was being pretty defensive, high-handed and unsympathetic towards those they were being involved. Anyway, some of the other people I was now having to deal with seemed to be a tad "surprised" by my behaviour, and I sensed that they had a problem with me. In the middle of all this I remember walking into a room where they were all talking quite excitedly, one of them was saying something critical about somebody (quite likely me), and suddenly they all went quiet. Not long afterwards I got diagnosed and told them the result, and the one who was running the thing said "that explains everything."

To my mind there's not enough candour and openness in the world. People get serious misgivings about each other's behaviour but they don't raise their issues with the object of their annoyance, who is the only one who can really help. They would rather discuss it secretly with others and amplify it out of proportion than actually do anything to resolve it. At the time I was aware of being the object of these bad-mouthing antics, I felt pretty uncomfortable about it. My main consolation was that I'd known them to criticise others quite damningly too without raising it with the person concerned, so I felt at least I wasn't the only one to be treated to this immature way of doing things. Naturally I was very relieved when I got the diagnosis.

Yes, this happened to me often at departmental meetings. I am not a member of the popular click, so they watch me like a hawk if they know I am there. They are a walking rumor mill, always chomping at the bit for bad news on others. The song “Dirty Laundry” by Don Hensley comes to mind.

I pulled a fast one on them last month, as I went to the video meeting ten minutes early than everybody else and had my camera/voice off on purpose. I caught them making fun of a retiring professor (ADA and a minority), which I quickly taped (legal in my state) in case it is needed later by that person if they want to go to HR. I hate the majority of my coworkers as they are very fake people. Someday I will expose them for what they are, but I just need to bide my time until I can move to a better job.

that happened to me in the most lonely time in my life, when i was in the army, happened all the time. i was a perpetual outsider, a stranger in a strange land.