Personality Disoders, PTSD, Learning Disorders and Autism

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I think that I have Schizotypal, Paranoid Personality Disorder and PTSD.



From my early childhood, other former kids would bully me, call me a "loser, "Stupid", "Idiot", "ret*d" and some of them though I was delusional, just because I have Learning Disorders and Autism.

I am diagnosed with schizotypal disorder alongside Asperger syndrome since more than four years. For a short time in 2016 I had diagnosis of schizophrenia, but no dx of Asperger's in the same time.

I think that I can have NVLD (but I would say that it is an "addition" to autism, not disorder instead of AS) because I have VIQ 22 points larger than PIQ in Wechsler test in 2016. I had very high result in Information (17), it is in gifted range and at itself would mean IQ about 135 (so above 130 with 15-point standard deviation). I had relatively poor results in Picture Arrangement and Object Assembly (9, which corresponds to IQ about 95).

I rather do not have PTSD, although some may suppose that I have PTSD due to religious problems and fear of harsh punishment from God, like eternal torment, endless suffering. I have an "aversion" to examination of conscience and confessing sins, I had large problems with them, maybe also due to poor executive functioning (many different sins were hard to grasp). I did general confession about 18 times in my life. I do not want to deprave anyone, I might be considered highly spiritual person. I want eternal salvation and sinlessness for anyone.

I have avoidant personality disorder with traits of obsessive-compulsive pd. I also think I have PTSD but don't have a diagnosis at the moment. My doctor said AvPD can be just autism but I definitely recognize both diagnoses and I think they're a little different. AvPD has a pattern of yearning to be loved but pushing people away because of anxiety and fear of rejection.

Thank you