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I have autism but have learned to adapt to neurotypicals. I am actually popular! However, my girlfriend has a 20 year old son that has no social life. He has no friends except me. He also has autism. He is very smart and other then his constant ummms etc is a very interesting conversationalist. The fact that I have autism also is great! He knows that I will never judge him and as a matter of fact I tell him that we have super powers ( concentration..etc ) that neurotypicals lack. Anyway, I am very concerned that he has no friends. Any suggestions?

The main reason I didn't have a social life when I was younger was because I was afraid of people judging me. The best thing that helped me was reducing my sensitivity to criticism. When people are judged negatively early in life and feel rejected, their mind will associate being judged with being rejected. If that happened to him, he'll automatically experience the same painful emotions people feel when they are rejected when people judge him due to classical conditioning. Fortunately, science has found a way to break those associations and it made me less sensitive than most people.

What he needs to do is find people who will judge him (you can help with that) while thinking about it differently. If his mind associated being judged with rejection, he needs to realize people aren't rejecting him when they judge him. Sometimes, people will blame themselves and feel like there is something wrong with them so their mind will associate being judged with feeling inferior. If that's the case, he'll want to find people to judge him while telling himself that no one is perfect, every one has flaws, and that he's just as good as everyone else. If he gets people to judge him enough times, while thinking the opposite of what his mind associated it with, those association will disappear and he'll no longer be afraid of being judged. That will allow him to be himself and not feel worse no matter how people react which makes socializing much easier.

Well...you could try to help him, if he is wanting to be more social. If he doesn't particularly seem to care, then maybe it's not an issue, or maybe you can talk him into it.

Yes, if he doesn't feel lonely then it might not be wise to intervene. Maybe you could ask him. If he says he is, I guess he'll find it pretty obvious that he'd like friends, and you could take it from there. Much as I feel that people are at a disadvantage without friends, I wouldn't recommend intervening too energetically.

Just be there for him, you get what he's going through so you will be able to easily connect with him.

Take him out shopping or eating at his favorite places, get to know the kid. Will only help your relationship.