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endofeverythingknown
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16 Sep 2020, 1:41 am

Does anybody else ever feel like their brain is going so fast that it buzzes, like w tornado, and you can't make sense of it?



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16 Sep 2020, 4:54 am

Not in years. If I feel like that now I know something is wrong and I should get a glass of barley tea or something. My brain works better on low speed.


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16 Sep 2020, 5:30 am

My brain is normally a slow processor (I am a deep thinker if I latch onto a subject), but though it rarely happens, sometimes due to a day or a longer term build up of stress I have had moments which I call a claustrophobic mind. They may happen once every few years and for some reason they normally happen at night when it is dark.
My mind gets faster and faster and all sorts of thoughts of past unresolved situations come racing into my mind. My mind is under pressure and the pressure builds and builds. It reaches the point where I am sure my head is going to explode, as it feels like my brai is increasing in size and my skull is not... And the pressure builds and builds and I reach a point where I honestly think my head will explode and I am going to die and right at the moment when I can't take any more and I don't know how I can take any more it just stops!
I am in perfect peace and calm. It feels like I am lying on a small boat on a perfectly calm water on a perfectly calm moonlit evening. I am tired and sleepy and I go to bed and sleep. It is as if the other event had never happened. Such a contrast! Ooh. I am glad of that contrast as no way do I want to experience those claustrophobic mind experiences again! But I mention them because my brain thoughts go at incredible speeds while in that situation. I could not think that quick if I tried! Yet during that time...
Ooh. Another thing I should say conected with those events is that the build up can last a few hours with the oressure slowly increasing. On the build up I have done things physically which I can't normally do. For example, because one of the thoughts was to try to correct a past wrong, I wrote a letter in one of these build ups, and cycled down the hill a few miles and I rode back up (Which is a steep hill) at a speed not far off which a car would have done it, and if you see the hill I don't know how I did it. Look. I used to compete at mountain bike racing and also road time trialling, and I was often competing agaist professionals. I have ridden with professionals at the Tour De France level on occasions, so when I was fit and at that level, I could hold my own... But the speed I went up that hill when my mind was like that... If the hillclimb was recorded it would have set all time records.
So it is strange! (I also know that I have to be alone when I am like that because I could easily lash out, but I don't as I will isolate myself. When it gets to that level I am holding myself on my bed so I don't go and do anything stupid. I am like superman in my strength in those moments! But without the ability to exercise self control, so I hold myself down so I don't do anything I would regret.
But those events for me are rare as if I experience a slight build up I normally end up in a shutdown? I am trying to work it out. Hard to tell.
Anyways. I have had my mind go at amazing speeds on a recall of many thoughts of past where I have failed at something and upset someone. Why is it the negatives come up in my thoughts during these rare events?

Anyway. I only get these maybe once every few years and I can go years without them. I don't want them. Not sure what they are. My only real connection is that they will be following a very stressful day.

I do have a theory. If my mind does not cope then I will normally get a shutdown usually in partial form but if I can't prevent it from deepening, I get a full shutdown. I think of it as an overload protection of a model railway controller where the controller shuts off the power to protect itself from damage if something goes wrong. But these claustrophobic mind events are like a steam train building up too much pressure and the safety valve is sticking, and right before one thinks the boiler is going to explode, the valve suddenly unsticks and the pressure subsides... (More like the valve comes right out of its boiler fitting and all the oressure suddenly releases and I then have no pressure at all abd I fall asleep in total peace and calm).


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Awaiting asessment. Neurodiverse 173/200. Neurotypical 21/200. Empathy 11/80. AQ 39. https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/ ... s/shutdown

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16 Sep 2020, 5:37 am

I had one incident where I actually heard something like a sizzling, as my theory of mind fell apart during an unexpected harangue. Usually, though, the fuzzy feeling just comes in when I'm trying to think of something that takes a lot of short-term memory, and can't stop getting distracted by people problems, or just am not smart enough for what I'm trying to understand.



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16 Sep 2020, 5:39 am

Try going for a walk, but, in your head, call out your steps. "Left, right, left, right"... Watch what the rest of you brain does. How long can you do it for? Does it capture your focus? Can you still have other thoughts? Is your brain calmer?

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16 Sep 2020, 5:46 am

Don't mention "Left, right" etc. If I think that I will develop another habbit where I will think that every time I walk.
It took me around 30 years (Actually more like 35 years or longer) to break the stepping on drain covers and avoiding cracks in pavements compulsion.
I still have to stop myself now and then.


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16 Sep 2020, 7:17 am

endofeverythingknown wrote:
Does anybody else ever feel like their brain is going so fast that it buzzes, like w tornado, and you can't make sense of it?

Kinda. Not so much not maake sense of it ut more as it goes in so many directions at once it's hard to understand what caused what thought. MY mind is extremely chaotic. My mind has this weird thign where i can go from one topic to another in seconds i have a hard time keeping on topic unles i'm really engaged. Alot of times ym family are having conversations about unrelated things. and I'm just like. Have you ever wondered why the tips of shoelaces are called aglets?


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16 Sep 2020, 1:38 pm

Well, I used to notice this thing where my mind would churn out ideas too quickly for me to "catch" them all. One thought would branch off into two new thoughts, then those two would generate two more each (approximately), and my poor short-term memory would struggle like mad to try and process each thought to some kind of completion. And every thought seemed to be really important, and I'd feel afraid of losing any of it. I think over time, either my brain slowed down or I became more content to let some of its ideas go. Whatever it was, I don't seem to get that trouble any more.