Being a hybrid AS/NT individual feels lonely

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It feels kinda weird being between NT & AS, with a leaning toward NT (or as the RDOS test says, toward AS). It feels like a lonely place... I can relate fine to an NT and possibly to an AS (depending on severity level), but on a deeper level there's a missing connection I only feel with hybrids.

I once met a friend that had high functioning Williams Syndrome. While not AS, she's in a similar hybrid place. Only mere acquaintences, we connected on an unheard of level. I connected to her in ways I've never been able to with my best NT friend of 15 years.

The other problem I run into is NT's who plain don't get my quirks. But all AS'ers experience this.

Last of all, I was reading through the NT/AS open hotline thread. I saw lots of things I didn't understand about NTs & other AS'ers. I also shared a ton in common with both folks.

My RDOS score:

Your Aspie score: 117 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 113 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

I am mostly NT but I am married to an Aspie and have 2 children on the spectrum. This is my normal. I also relate more to Aspies. I can do what I need to when I am at work, but I am tired after and need to decompress without direct social contact.

I don't see it as being between AS and NT. Autism is a spectrum, and everyone who has some degree of autism falls somewhere on that spectrum, whether on the very mild end, in which one would share many traits with NTs, or on the more severe end, in which one would still share many traits with NTs, since people are people and regardless of our neurology we still share a lot in common.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel the same way.

I don't feel I fit with people with AS because I have don't have any severe sensory issues, I don't excel in anything, I don't have issues withe eye contact and I enjoy social interaction.

I don't feel I fit with NTs because I have meltdowns and don't enjoy things a lot people my age (16) seem to enjoy like going against their parents, fashion, make-up, and in some cases, alcohol (which isn't legal until you turn 19 here), smoking and drugs.

I have better social skills than most aspies, but worse than most NTs.

I can relate to this too. I have a lot of AS traits and am diagnosed with AS the but I have some things that definitely don't fit with the AS diagnosis. For example as a child I had symbolic/representational play. I had a very all consuming fantasy world as an older child....but even as a young child I played with dolls (had symbolic play). Also on my IQ test that I took when I was almost 6 I scored in the 63rd percentile for "social reasoning" i.e. reading comprehension. My overall verbal IQ was much higher..............my highest score being vocab in the 98th percentile. I also scored at grade level for "making inferences". The assessment was for learning disabilities and I did have a severe learning disability (NVLD) and they mentioned on my report that I was very rigid in my social reasoning and could not answer questions about situations that were unfamiliar or respond to” unstructured material". My psychologist speculated that I had memorized certain social rules and was a very anxious child..................she said IO had a serious emotional problem and needed help (also based on the way I interacted with her).

Anyways so the point is even though everything else seemed to fit: always described as "in my own little world", a lot of difficulty with peers and social interaction, noted on reports that I did not reciprocate, bullied and ostracized for years, stimmed a lot, got upset if routines were changed , class policeman about rules and routines etc. I was just looking through my old records sorry for the long-windedness. I was also a child who could make inferences, was adept at social reasoning(with the caveats mentioned above), and had representational play. I also have no special skills and no technical or mechanical ability whatsoever .......but I do have good rote memory and attention to detail.

I had MUCH worse sensory and emotional issues when I was little. I still have the occasional meltdown, but I keep them very much under control to the point that I have been SEEN having a meltdown only twice in the past ten or more years.
My social interaction has been getting better, mostly to rote memorization of all the little social intricacies I'm aware of. So while I'm not as socially capable as the average NT, I'm still better than the average aspie. I have great spatial skills and perfect pitch to help, but my processing is still slow, so I'm always caught a little off-guard. As a musician who plays video games, though, I can get away with it, and people just refer to me endearingly as a space-cadet.
I don't think I'll ever be able to choke down any foods I don't like, though. As a result, dinner parties terrify me and thankfully, I've not had to go to one. Senior prom had me worried that the chicken would be prepared all stupid and disgusting. I envy people who can tolerate eating foods they might not necessarily like. If the taste buds don't like it, the stomach will not accept it.
All the same, I consider AS people as brethren of sorts. I feel I relate to them more than NTs, but I feel more like an aspie who has "outsmarted" Aspergers for the most part.

Can I join the hybrid gang?

Your Aspie score: 106 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 93 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

On topic is this interesting stuff from DSM-V:

"There may be some individuals with subclinical features of Asperger/ASD who seek out a diagnosis of ‘Asperger Disorder’ in order to understand themselves better (perhaps following an autism diagnosis in a relative), rather than because of clinical-level impairment in everyday life. While such a use of the term may be close to Hans Asperger’s reference to a personality type, it is outside the scope of DSM, which explicitly concerns clinically-significant and impairing disorders. ‘Asperger-type’, like ‘Kanner-type’, may continue to be a useful shorthand for clinicians describing a constellation of features, or area of the multi-dimensional space defined by social/communication impairments, repetitive/restricted behaviour and interests, and IQ and language abilities."

http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevisions/P ... spx?rid=97

Also check DSM-V for severity where they talk about Subclinical AS Symptoms

http://www.psych.org/MainMenu/Research/ ... eport.aspx

awww.. dont be lonely but i do understand how you feel.. i'm kind of super NT like one Nickay12 has put it, i think of it as borderline everything hehe.. it could get kinda sad because in some other levels of who you are, you kinda feel alone and misunderstood.. focusing on that being how you are would really be lonely for you. but think of it this way like what Nickay12 said you get to look into both sides, but yeah you could also suffer what both could suffer. you could get both of the pains and joys of both.. everything is dual in nature, it has its good and bad.. celebrate the good and manage the bad either way there's always an equivalent about a certain thing about yourself that could compensate for the other which could be a weakness..

so dont just stay on the fence, thats where it could be sad, jump in to the side that you find to be in your liking there are people there, not much on the fence. if there are, they're too preoccupied balancing themselves or trying to figure out which side to jump in to as well. if the side you jumped in to turns bad - switch. use the other side of yourself that has strength to address the matter that your other side cannot. like if this is dating, its kinda having or being in both market.

everything is good for something, its up to us to figure it out. its part of the lifetime fun and growth in knowing and being in relationship with ourselves.. make the most out of the gifts both posses.

_________________
"If being in a wrong planet; I think I like your's."
NT, knighted Honorary Aspie for my love for an aspie..

I know what you mean, and I totally relate.

You should check out the book, "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You"
by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

Through her research she's narrowed a subset of the population to 14 % who she calls "highly sensitive".

I see these highly sensitives as being at the tippy top of the autism spectrum. Not clinically impaired by their condition, but significantly impacted by it.

I wish more researchers would look into this.

Sometimes I feel like an HFA/NT hybrid. It's an awkward situation...