Treatment of High Functioning Vs Lower Functioning on W.P

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Fnord
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02 Oct 2020, 10:17 am

magz wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Another reason, however, were the hostile reactions from people who seemed to see the words "Try harder", read them as "You stupidlazygoodfornothing...", et cetera (like my teachers used to do when I couldn't understand their lessons), and start s***storms against me that would go on for days.

I sometimes think some people were unfortunate to have exactly this experience - being told "try harder" that quickly descended into a chain of insults or even worse - and they may react to your opinions with unconscious expectation of exactly this.

You could be correct -- they're reacting not so much to my words, but to their own past experiences they associate with those words.

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firemonkey
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02 Oct 2020, 10:19 am

Nades wrote:

firemonkey wrote:

It seems to be a very American thing ,that you can succeed at anything you want to , with the right amount of effort. It's addle brained bunkum. I had piano lessons from 8-13 as an extra curricular activity at my prep school . I had zero aptitude for it. Despite trying my best I couldn't even get to grade I level.

I somehow managed to get through all of comprehensive school without scoring a single try or goal. Everyone has a couple of things they're bad at.

I was picked last for a side , and then put in goal if playing football. That gave the other boys an extra excuse to bully me as I let in a heap of goals.

Teach51
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02 Oct 2020, 10:21 am

Nades wrote:

firemonkey wrote:

I somehow managed to get through all of comprehensive school without scoring a single try or goal. Everyone has a couple of things they're bad at.

Did you ever enjoy just playing the game though?

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Nades
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02 Oct 2020, 10:22 am

firemonkey wrote:

Nades wrote:

firemonkey wrote:

I somehow managed to get through all of comprehensive school without scoring a single try or goal. Everyone has a couple of things they're bad at.

I was picked last for a side , and then put in goal if playing football. That gave the other boys an extra excuse to bully me as I let in a heap of goals.

I was also picked last but fortunate in the sense that nobody ever passed or thrown me the ball.

Fnord
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02 Oct 2020, 10:23 am

Teach51 wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Teach51 wrote:

Teaching me mathematics would be as productive as trying to teach a turtle to jump a fence. That's just how it is. I worked many years ago with quadraplegic and paraplegic patients. Imagine if they would have asked me for a urine bottle and I would have said "walk to the toilet yourself you are not trying hard enough." Neurology is neurology. I learned that raising my children, one could do something brilliantly and the others just couldn't. I just encouraged them to do what they were actually good at and could do. Reinforce and not deflate.

I understand your analogy perfectly, and it is only one of the reasons why I stopped giving "try harder" pep talks -- some people are simply unable to put forth more effort. Another reason, however, were the hostile reactions from people who seemed to see the words "Try harder", read them as "You stupidlazygoodfornothing...", et cetera (like my teachers used to do when I couldn't understand their lessons), and start s***storms against me that would go on for days.

Maybe it's time to acknowledge that it's not a matter of effort. A paralyzed man will not get up and walk independently no matter how much effort he invests. It's like King Canute was it? Who ordered the sea to retreat? He put all his will and effort into it. He couldn't do it. Of course. It required resources he just didn't possess.

At this moment, it's all moot. I have no desire to put myself through another s***storm of hatred and lies over two little words, so if someone wants to complain about being a constant failure, then it is not up to me to suggest any means of improvement. I'm due to retire soon, anyway, so why should carry other people's baggage for the rest of my life? No reason. No reason at all...

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magz
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02 Oct 2020, 10:24 am

firemonkey wrote:

I was picked last for a side , and then put in goal if playing football. That gave the other boys an extra excuse to bully me as I let in a heap of goals.

I still can't go to a volleyball field without my stomach aching from stress back from school... your story seems even worse.
I'm so glad there is no need to play volleyball at all when you're adult!

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Nades
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02 Oct 2020, 10:24 am

Teach51 wrote:

Nades wrote:

firemonkey wrote:

I somehow managed to get through all of comprehensive school without scoring a single try or goal. Everyone has a couple of things they're bad at.

Did you ever enjoy just playing the game though?

To a degree in didn't hate it. I was also a very fast runner so when I finally did get the ball I used to cause some unexpected panic. The downside is that I weighed next to nothing and was promptly wiped out in Rugby.

Teach51
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02 Oct 2020, 10:31 am

Fnord wrote:

Teach51 wrote:

I understand your analogy perfectly, and it is only one of the reasons why I stopped giving "try harder" pep talks -- some people are simply unable to put forth more effort.

Another reason, however, were the hostile reactions from people who seemed to see the words "Try harder", read them as "You stupidlazygoodfornothing...", et cetera (like my teachers used to do when I couldn't understand their lessons), and start s***storms against me that would go on for days.

Teachers who bully or are insensitive can leave permanent trauma.
I have taught many dyslexics and students with ADHD or autism who were literally terrified in our first lesson because of lousy teachers in childhood. Positive reiforcement helps and learning each student's optimal mode of learning really helps. I had a student with ADHD (a forensics policeman, brilliant) who played chess on his phone throughout the lesson. He was right on the ball and completely focused on the lesson. A kinetic learner. I just got thrown out of class when I was a kid for not sitting like a statue.

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Last edited by Teach51 on 02 Oct 2020, 10:36 am, edited 3 times in total.

firemonkey
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02 Oct 2020, 10:32 am

Fnord wrote:

firemonkey wrote:

Did you try learning a different instrument, or did you give up on music altogether?

I stopped music lessons when I went to public school. Was good enough to sing in my prep school choir, but not good enough for the public school one.

Teach51
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02 Oct 2020, 10:35 am

Nades wrote:

Teach51 wrote:

Nades wrote:

firemonkey wrote:

I somehow managed to get through all of comprehensive school without scoring a single try or goal. Everyone has a couple of things they're bad at.

Did you ever enjoy just playing the game though?

Rugby is really rough. I had a relative who died of a broken neck in a rugby game.

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Steve1963
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02 Oct 2020, 10:36 am

Fnord wrote:

So it's 'try harder' or nothing? ::smh

kraftiekortie
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02 Oct 2020, 10:38 am

Lol....I wasn’t even good enough for sixth-grade glee club

Fnord
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02 Oct 2020, 10:39 am

Teach51 wrote:

Fnord wrote:

Teachers who bully or are insensitive can leave permanent trauma ... I just got thrown out of class when I was a kid for not sitting like a statue.

Back in the 1960s, such behavior from a teacher was never recognized as 'bullying'. Instead, the student was further punished by being told that he deserved to be treated that way, which only motivated me to prove them all wrong.

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Fnord
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02 Oct 2020, 10:41 am

Steve1963 wrote:

Fnord wrote:

So it's 'try harder' or nothing?

No, it's "You don't want my help? Good! You don't get my help!"

And here you are, criticizing me for trying to be helpful, and then criticizing me for not trying to be helpful.

Why don't you just leave me the hell alone?

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Last edited by Fnord on 02 Oct 2020, 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

Teach51
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02 Oct 2020, 10:42 am

Steve1963 wrote:

Fnord wrote:

So it's 'try harder' or nothing? ::smh

Steve, wasn't it you I applauded for apologizing to Fnord a while back? I even dedicated a song to you no? You both made up then.

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magz
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02 Oct 2020, 10:43 am

Teach51 wrote:

My AS daughter had that kind of rigid, insensitive teacher for one year.
In just a few weeks, she descended from "with some issues" to "fully disabled".
I was actually glad covid struck so I could practically homeschool her.
This year her regular teacher came back and my daughter is back to her regular self.
It makes a difference.

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