What Actually Is Socializing?

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This forum to me is my main source of socializing. I don't really know what it means as in the past when people have asked me in work or the times I have had women ask me where I "Go" to socialize, I have not really understood the question so I have asked them where they go, and they say "In the pub". However, when I have assumed that drinking in pubs means socializing people say the two things are not the same.
I have always been puzzled by this. What socializing actually is. When is one socializing and when is one not socializing? I mean, what is the difference between talking to someone and socializing? Is there something different that happens like a key feature that takes place in pubs when talking stops and socializing begins?

Socializing just means participating in social activities and interacting with other people.
Different people might use the word in a broad or more narrow sense though. Some may only count in person activities, therefore no talking on online forums.
As for the difference between talking to someone and socializing. I guess talking might not count as socializing if the intent behind talking is not social interaction or connection. And activities that don't involve much talking could be socializing if they are done to interact and connect with other people.

Thanks for the reply. It is a word I find it hard to define because it has no set rules to define it. It is why I have always puzzled what it means. One of those things that most pwople seem to know but no one can define it as a specific thing, but more of a general definition.

Thank you for the reply.

I think some people (probably NT) have a need to socialise in person. Just like on Sims where the social bar going down can be as bad as the hunger bar going down.

I can go days without talking to someone irl if my parents go away. I'm fine after that. Some people would be really lonely.

NTs find it hard to imagine being happy in a way which is different to how they're happy themselves. This is why I think TOM is a bit of a myth. They're just the majority so it's easier for them to 'empathise' through 'well I wouldn't like it' and be right rather than wrong.

If an aspie on here told me 'I was stuck in a crowd' I would have that same ability to guess they didn't like that based on my own experience of not liking it.

As long as you're fulfilling your own social needs, that should be enough. Even some NTs are introverts by choice/inclination.

Proactive interaction with other human beings, hopefully with beneficial results. Or at least neutral results. And ideally some sort of enjoyment or satisfaction from said interaction.

What is a TOM?

I am a bit of an odd character in that I don't like crowded places or having too mny people around as it is draining, but at the same time I need someone I am close to there in the background if that makes sense. I eed someone to bounce ideas and thoughts off and who is there for me. It is not that I can't be independent. It is more that when I have tried living alone I found that I just sit there and do nothing. Is like I have no prompts. Yet if someone like my Mum is there, somehow I do not need these prompts because somehow I am less likely to just sit there deep in my own thoughts? It is like the other person doing their own thing stops me from feeling lonely and also distracts me enough to divert my attention towards the various projects I have on the go.
It is hard to describe it. I am a bit of a loner if in a crowd. Oh. I also can go for ages alone enjoying whatever it is I am doing... I can loose myself in my little projects! Haha! I can spend days on making something and others hardly see me when I am in a making things frame of mind.

Not quite sure what stuck in a crowd means? Too many people to cope with? I don't like crowded places.

TOM = Theory of Mind.

It’s the ability to understand viewpoints other than your own. That individual people experience the same thing differently.

Theory of mind.

There's a theory that autistic people lack theory of mind.

Theory of mind is the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

I think it's just a game of predictions to be honest. Of 'how would I feel in that situation'.

By stuck in a crowd I mean being in a crowd. An NT might like it, for all I know. An NT person would probably not mind it quite as much, in any case. All I'm doing when I emphasise is putting myself into the situation when I emphasise with another autistic person who might say that.

All an NT is doing when they assume everyone needs irl friends to go drinking with (for eg) is putting themself into that situation. The exact same thing, just it's easier for them to seem like they're universally/unusually good at that because it'll be rare their predictions are wrong, because NTs are the majority.

Thanks. (Sorry for short reply. I am remembering something while I type)

Socialising:
-Getting to know people.
-Interacting with people during leisure time.

In a typical social situation, I think's it's similar to looking into a mirror in those moments when you recognize yourself as existing outside of your own head, but socializing is a much more profound experience. The other person has to mirror your body language and opinions (to a large extent) for it to work well and if it does, then you're left with a stronger sense of self as being of this world, rather than being alienated from it.

It's by no means the only way to experience whatever it is we're really looking for, so to speak, but socializing is well adapted to and encouraged by the system we live in. There's a very large industry that thrives on it which will push the narrative that you're not living life to the full by not taking part.

I'm saying this as somebody who doesn't take part, so I may be completely wrong.

Socializing, ideally, is making yourself feel good, while other people feel good, too.

It doesn't often happen that way, though.

Just too many "codes" one must follow. In certain societies, it might take five minutes just to say "hi" to someone lol

(By the way, I DO like to talk about the weather. One of my "special interests" as a kid was meteorology).

How Many Aspies does it take to explain socialization [/color]

I like to talk about the weather as well. If anyone says something about the weather to me, they'll get a description of the weather for the next few days or a rundown of how much rain we've been having, for example.