I don't enjoy going out much anymore

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I feel due to the current crisis I like I don't enjoy much as I used to going out, especially at work. I am always a state of discomfort when I am at work and staff and customer approach and ask me questions even when they have masks on and get too close even when I try to back away. People still walk the wrong way towards in the shopping centre and when its busy I feel I want to avoid them but feel trapped there are other people coming the other way and want to get away and even outside in the high street it feels less comfortable, people do the same thing out there as well. I'm off work now until the 21st and when I am off I feel I want to spend more time at home than going out the moment unless it is for anything essential. I don't know if I am over-reacting and being paranoid. I think one of the responses I may get to this question will be to seek professional help when I feel uncomfortable in doing that right now and its the same as when I have been unable to visit the hairdresser or the optician. I have been having my hair done at home instead. I do miss the enjoyment of going out and not worrying about the people around without wearing masks and thinking they are have a contagious illness and now human contact with other people worries me and I do enjoy human contact and meeting new people before all this was going on.

You may want to ask to have this thread moved to the Haven. There are people here who may make upsetting and non-supportive comments

Yes, I have felt more anxious whenever I have to go out. It's very stressful. I was already prone to feeling on-edge while grocery shopping, but now it's increased. I haven't been to get my haircut since February and I just recently cut my husband's hair at home so he wouldn't need to go. I have conditions that put me at a higher risk so it's been a very stressful period.

I know how you feel, but I get more anxious about messing up and being barked at by shop workers. I do keep 2 metres away from other people if possible, and I try to pay attention to arrows that are on the floor in some shops. But sometimes I find myself accidentally walking on an arrow that's pointing the opposite way and I'm all jumpy because I think that I'm going to be yelled at. Some shops are stricter than others.

Also I don't agree with some shops having a rule where you must not touch anything unless you are buying it. I love shopping, and that includes browsing. But even if I do know what I want before going into the store, I still like to have a browse too, and browsing means you have to pick a book or DVD up to look properly. That's the fun of shopping. No, I don't do online shopping, I like to go out and look, because I'm not a slave to the screen and I like the fresh air and exercise.
But if the shops have hand sanitizer at the entrance, then your hands should be clean, so touching items in the store shouldn't be too dangerous. I even rub a bit of sanitizer on my bag or pocket too. If people were encouraged to do that instead of not being allowed to touch any items unless buying, then the stores will make more profit.

I Don't Enjoy Going Out Much Anymore.
it is way too stressful and people don't want to be my friend because they see me as an odd ball.

It's all about perspective; personally, I love going out and I can't stand to be idling or being stuck at home. Unfortunately, I am still in the hospital, day 66 today (Aug 7) so there is no going out for me. Being stuck in one place makes me crazy. I have a bad case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), but I would say that I am fairly extroverted for an Aspie (on Myers-Briggs, I test INTJ, but my I and E are very close). I can't wait to get out of the hospital so I can go on a nice long drive. However, when I am depressed (like now), I will become a recluse and lose enjoyment in anything. We're social creatures by nature, but getting hurt over and over again makes us lose our desire to be social with anyone.

I think I can understand all of you who have replied so far! I have times I don't feel like going out, although my bigger issue is interacting with other people, and not just offline but even online too, even on this very website!

@chris1989: I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I must admit I am having trouble understanding what you wrote although it was short and sweet whereas I tend to write a wall of text as someone said about me, but I think you missed some words and punctuation.

I haven't worked since January 2005 (I'm on S.S.I., had to go to college for eight years and after college my health started failing and I still have health issues today) but I get being uncomfortable around others. And I know what it's like to want to avoid others and sometimes I still get that way. Back in 2012 I really did not want to be around anyone, I didn't even like it when people engaged me in conversation or asked me a question, I just wanted to be left alone but unfortunately that just wasn't possible!

I cannot tell you if you're overreacting or paranoid, I wouldn't know that myself and I don't want to sound apathetic. I also won't tell you to get professional help, that's up to you. The only advice I can give you is to pray.

I used to enjoy some human contact myself. Well I kind of still do but not all that much now that I'm more aware of myself and more aware of how others view me and why they might!


@AuroraBorealisGazer: I'm sorry to hear about your condition too. I wish I knew how to help you as well. I would have suggested going out as long as you wear a mask, maybe make sure a place is open to customers before going in, I recently got my haircut, but I don't know your situation or condition. I think of that of other people, those I've seen in person, including my mother, who doesn't go out much anymore either. A little more on her later. I also agree with you on people giving non-supportive comments or getting upset. I recently had someone tell me to stop bumping topics!


@Joe90. YOUCH! I too am anxious about messing up and getting barked at! As mentioned above I did work and I worked at Sonic and after I got promoted about a year later, I had some trouble with other co-workers as well as my boss and the assistant managers! I've been yelled at a lot and so many times that I've become paranoid and panicky! I also get afraid when I post things online, messages mainly, because I'm afraid some will take it the wrong way or take it differently than I intended for it to. It stinks having good intentions but really doing more harm than good!

I like to browse too, especially when it comes to books. I don't want to just bring anything home with me, I want to see if I'll like it first and if I want it. I kind of do agree with the rule of "don't touch unless you buy" but I also disagree with it. I mean I don't want to spread my germs to others or catch anyone else's or get sick from someone else or cause others to get sick, on that I can agree! But I want to make sure I want or like something before purchasing it.

I don't blame you for not online shopping, I probably wouldn't have been ready for that either years ago. And years ago I didn't want a cell phone because I didn't want to get in trouble for not turning it off among some other consequences. Thankfully I didn't get a cell phone until I was 20! However there are some things I am reluctant to do, including going on YouTube. I don't care what's on there I never want to visit YouTube or watch anything on there or from there, not even downloaded from there, I prefer to use other sources or servers, or prefer to watch on old-fashioned TV. I also don't want to use Vimeo or Google Videos, but I don't mind using DailyMotion, for some things! I know, I'm limiting myself but still! But I say that because I can understand your reluctance although I don't mind shopping online, and seeing how some things are not sold in stores anymore I don't have much of a choice if I want something. But don't shop online if you're not comfortable doing so.


@prinanab: I feel like an oddball too! And I know what you mean! Going out being stressful. I don't see why some people don't want to be your friend, I mean I don't know you but don't sell yourself short! As for me, I don't mind being friends with others but it can be awkward for me and what if I annoy others. I might have more trouble keeping friends than making friends!

@whatacrazyride: Sometimes I like to go out too, especially to look at trains, which I haven't done since February or March thanks to the COVID, having to Social Distance, and the civil unrest and riots and the crimes against black people, and I'm a black person myself so it's extra scary and dangerous for me to go out. Well I know it's dangerous for everyone but it's really not easy for black people. Well it's not really the trains, it's the railroad crossings, I love to watch those red lights flash, hear those bells ring, and see the gates go down, watch the train pass by, and then watch the gates go back up. But I've been away from that for so long that now I dream of the tracks being out of service, realigned, or still in place but no train coming (last time I was at a railroad crossing, no train came all the while I was there but there were a couple of trains that came before... and then I think one more came after I left! That sucks! I also like to ride the bus and the streetcar but now I only ride the bus if I need to go somewhere far away (and I cannot walk a mile anymore, well I can but not too far, I used to be able to walk four to six miles but now with me having peripheral neuropathy and other health problems I can only walk half a mile! Thankfully I live close enough to my nearest grocery store!

Although I do like hanging out at home, I mean I'm more comfortable going to the bathroom in my own home than anywhere else, be it someone else's home, public restroom, etc, admittedly I don't like to stay in one place for too long, especially if it's a boring or unpleasant place, or being stuck at home! It was worse when I stayed in Minnesota with family, well when my mother, sister, and I stayed in Minnesota. I was old enough to go places and do some things by myself but that time I couldn't because my mother, sister, and I didn't have keys to the houses we stayed in and I couldn't go out as much and had to wait for my sister to come home from school. I felt confined and deprived too, there was much I wanted to do but couldn't.

You've been in the hospital for 66 days? I am so sorry to hear that. My mother's in the hospital too, she's been there since October 1. As upset as I am about that, that's nothing compared to your situation! Boy I hope you and my mother feel better and can get out! I'm still waiting for my mother to come back but her blood pressure has been all over the place and she's been in the ICU twice, at least I think she has. She had to have surgery because of her feeding tube, and her heart-rate was high before she went to the hospital, and she had a hernia. I want my mommy back, but I don't want her to leave the hospital prematurely, I don't want her to leave only to have to go back! Bad enough I lost my paternal grandmother this January, and lost my paternal grandfather back in July, I cannot lose my mother too, I need her too much!

But I hope you get well soon and I hope you can get out of the hospital and move about again. If you do, please be careful!

@All readers. I hope I was some help to all of you, and sorry I missed anyone who commented after I started this comment and didn't finish before you. It's not often I respond to every single post in one message, at least not those that I've seen so far. I wish the best for each and everyone of you! I better stop now, this has gotten too long.

Peace and love to all!

You're welcome, AGB!

Actually the name's William, Timmy Turner is my favorite cartoon character from Fairly Odd Parents, although I'm growing out of him but I still like him!

To Whatacrazyride:

I'm sorry to hear more of what you're going through and what you went through as a child, much worse than what I've been through (I had gastritis, (TMI WARNING): I threw up every year until I was 10 but it slowed down so I must be over it!) I hope you don't have lupus too or vasculitis, arthritis, diabetes or gastroparesis, my mother has those things as well! Found out she almost died with her blood pressure being dangerously low! She's feeling much better now, for the time being I should say, she's 52 years old and it's a miracle she made it this far!

Yeah 2020 has been crappy! So was 2019, at least for my mother and me, my mother losing much of her SSI and me losing my computer and my valuable files from 2005 till, well last year! 2018 was also stressful because of my mother constantly being in the hospital and losing her best friend in death but not as bad as 2019 was, which we can all agree wasn't as bad as 2020!

My late great grandmother had breast cancer in 1998, more than eight years before her passing, which I'd rather not talk about. Hopefully things will be better for your mother, at least there's some good news there!

50 surgeries before you were 10? MAN! I really feel for you! And to have them again. At least you're prospering better than I did job-wise. I only had one job in my life, I did apply to several other places, some repeatedly but nobody hired me! I think my dreams were shattered when I was 19 or in my 20s when I started suffering from deep deep depression! I had things I wanted to do but couldn't due to lack of money (when my mother had to stop working in 2003, and just when I finally got my own job, I became the bread-winner at age 18 and still living with my mother, and having to finish high school! And I kept having setbacks and frustrations, plus with me having to go to school my hours were cut and my boss hesitated to promote me until more than a month after my high school graduation. And even when I got promoted things got rough, I even broke down on the job once and had to end my shift early! Another shattered dream I had was wanting to move to a certain apartment complex but after a few setbacks, I gave up! And I really wanted to live there too, but now I have a feeling it worked out for the best! That place was near an airport anyway and not in such a good neighborhood and there were no nearby grocery stores I could go to! it was even more inconvenient than where I was living at the time!)

Well okay maybe not all my dreams were shattered when I was 19 but I pretty much grew out of wanting to do things and I've pretty much given up and moved on or lost my motivation to do things anymore. But I did have severe depression and stopped enjoying my life, even wanted to die, and not just because of that but feelings of worthlessness and not feeling like I could handle this so-called "real world!" I wanted to drive too so I could choose where I went and go wherever I wanted but it's just too much responsibility and I can be careless and believe me you do not want me behind the wheel, that and I'm afraid I would be prone to road-rage! I'm best off as a passenger or pedestrian! Well, maybe I'll start walking again someday but will need to take it easy, I get tired more easily than before and have to try to conserve energy in case I have to run errands.

I'm better at having a cellphone, and like Spongebob, I'm better at cooking than I am at driving! I was afraid to cook but now I know how and thank goodness, I have to do much of the cooking now with my mother sick but at least I can choose what I eat instead of just living on frozen dinners, PBJs, fast food, or relying on others to cook. I did set off the smoke detector several times and had a couple of fires shoot up in front of me but thankfully the fires didn't last long or grow and I didn't need a fire extinguisher but do want us to have one in the house, well, apartment, just in case! I did buy a second smoke alarm, one with a strobe light so that we'd have more than one smoke alarm and because I find strobe lights interesting, especially on fire alarms! But I digress!

I never shared this on Wrong Planet but I have two years on you, I'm 35 years old (no I'm not running for president, I'm strictly politically neutral and apolitical!) But yeah, I'm two years older! I think I'm gonna continue to keep my age hidden from the information on the side of the posts where my avatar is, I still get bummed out that I'm getting older and would prefer not to talk too much about my age. I know I'm still young, relatively speaking but I'm feeling old! I started growing gray hair at 15 and I'm now getting it on my chest! Sometimes I want to dye my hair white and get it over with (another inspiration for that is The Loud House's Lincoln Loud, a boy with white hair at such a young young age!) but my mother objects to that and I like my black hair just fine!

Alright I don't want to keep you too long so I'll end at this point. Thanks for reading!