Mountain Goat wrote:
I think I now know what has been going on when I get shutdowns, as I used to describe them as energy loss because at the same time as having them, my energy levels would become drained. I have had low energy issues in social situations foe years, but I did not realize that this was the cause as inthe past I did not know that my body going into limp mode with a paralized effect so I could jot power my muscles (Along with my eyesight going completely black and my hearing... Well. As when it gets to this stage I have loud tinitus even if I could hear I would not be ablw to hear it! Thankfully most of the time I get varying degrees of partial shutdowns so I can usually manage to have just enough body control left to remove myself from the stress trigger that caused the shutdown event, and therefore avoid a complete on the floor unable to move shutdown. (Like catatonia?).
But while a shutdown in itself is not an energy loss situation it causes energy loss, hence the confusion, as I am not able to describe feelings that well as they are all mashed up.
I never knew until less then a year ago (?) that I am unable to put all my feelings into words, and yet this ia the number one reason why as a baby I would scream and cry (Yes, I can remember how I felt back then), and as a young child I used to get temper tantrums which I now believe were meltdowns (At the age of about 6 years old (Almost 7) they switched into shutdowns).
Feelings mash up so I am unable to explain them, and it is only recently in my life when I hit crisis that I have had the time to really think and unravel all these thoughts, feelings and long term memories.
But social situations used to drain me, and yet when I was out from them and walking in the countryside or cycling or driving... Once I felt freedom returning, then my strength and energy came back... But sometimes I would suddenly need food as I would suddenly feel drained. (Why is it such feelings come on me suddenly? One minute I can be fine then suddenly I am desperately thirsty with dry skin as I have realized I urgently need to drink. Other times I can be the same with food or even going to the toilet! Suddenly without warning I desperately need to go and it can be front or back. Why suddenly? I am not sure but I don't think others get the same because they sem to be ablw to hold it for a while? Not sure).
But yes. I find social situations both energy absorbing, and they can also start the shutdown process.which is a different thing to energy loss but they both happen at the same time? Yet I can have one without the other so it's wierd. Anyway...
Ahh one overlooked thing for sensory issues is the interoception aspect. Interoception is bodily sensations. Things like temperature, the need to go to the bathroom, hunger, thirst, and also pain. It's often overlooked but many people with autism might be over sensitive to hunger and thirst and drink or eat to much. While others my not be very sensitive to hunger or thirst and drink/eat to little. Others might vary. I for one never am thirsty. and as a result I have to remember to drink and often don't drink enough. It's also really easy for me to ignore hunger. Sometimes hunger it'll just appear suddenly and it'll be like i'm so hungry I can't even muster up the energy to get something to eat. Or sometimes waiting for people to finish cooking food is torture because i'm just so hungry. It sounds like you might be experiencing something like that also in your other posts might be something similar with your uhh bathroom problem. [/color]
_________________
[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a
discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup
05 Nov 2020, 6:37 pm
