Dear_one wrote:
carlos55 wrote:
If you have been abused you should contact the police and social services
I would be very cautious about that. In North America, Police automatically believe that women are always the victims. As far as I can tell, everywhere they also automatically suspect anyone with atypical reactions, which describes Aspies. Now, I get legal advice before calling 911.
Amen. Contrary to popular opinion, the police are not your friend, and in most of the US, they are far more likely to escalate a dangerous situation [particularly as it pertains to one's mental health, civil rights, and safety] than be of any assistance whatsoever. The local police force here is so bad, we won't even use a security system for when we are not at home. I have never been helped by police in ANY emergency situation I have ever endured and falsely accused and arrested almost a dozen times. Unless I or someone else is experiencing a medical or fire emergency, I will not call 911, and will only talk to police is someone is in imminent peril from a dangerous individual.
When I was 21 years old, a friend of mine was experiencing a mental health crisis [homicidal, not suicidal], and in spite of my concern for him [and the person at whom he was angry] I was far more willing to wake up his parents and inform them than to call 911 myself.
They, in turn, called the police; and the "peace" officers literally encircled him with seven men with hands on their pistols like a lynch mob in a western film, and proceeded to inform him that he was "acting crazy and delusional" and that he would either be going to jail or the hospital. For several minutes I sincerely believed that I was going to see them kill him in front of me, and as they had all blocked me in with their cruisers, I was unable to drive away [though I honestly wanted to very badly]. Thankfully, he chose to surrender without incident and self-committed to a local mental health ward [which is another option for you if you feel very unsafe and are willing to try psychotropic medications]. As others here have indicated, if you are male and anywhere on the spectrum, I strongly recommend almost any option other than the police and civil services. Without any physical evidence, they will not even hear you out.
I assure you that while there are likely no physical support groups for abused men in your area, there are such groups online. I agree, the lack of resources is indeed unfair, but such resources operate upon the demand for said resources. Most males are either unwilling or unable to admit to being abused, which is part of the unfair social structures foisted upon all of us whether male, female, or non-binary. I myself have been mocked for years by both other men and even women [once by a girlfriend, now an ex] for being open about my various abuses over the years. It is not your fault, and coming forward openly takes courage and conviction; it is NOT a sign of weakness in any way, shape, or form. Being male does NOT mean that you are inferior or to blame for how others might perceive you or your current situation. I totally and completely respect and understand your frustration with the status-quo, but the best thing for you to do is to make a plan: rationally explore your options for assistance and eventual treatment options which may be available to you.
There is life after abuse. You can only fail when you proceed to give up. Hang in there, brother. You are not alone.
_________________
-- Hank
o-(|8[#]
“Politics is the art of controlling your environment.”
― Dr. Hunter S. Thompson