Trying To Ignore Feelings.

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I feel lonely even though my family are around; feeling a bit down because I am not able to work at the moment, and I can't do the things I want to do, I feel I am missing out in life in that I am still single, no house of my own, no wife, no children etc...
I feel that the situation I am in is stable but would otherwize be desperate.
Yet I am clinging on as somehow there is hope shining out of dispair.
Somehow I need to plough through. I can do this... Somehow......

I am blessed because I am alive. It doesn't always feel like a blessing but here I am. Free and able to live another day...And if I am not well I am into the next world...

Somehow I cling onto life... And I am fine. I am fine because I say I am fine. I am fine because I am here! I am here because I am able. At least I can do something!

Today just gone I have had almost full shutdowns. They hit me when asked to help do things I did not expect. (Why am I not told in advanced? But could I do much even then? As at the moment I am not up to much. Oh when will I pull out of the effects of burnout?).

But anyway. I am feeling fine somehow, and I'm ignoring the feelings I do not want to have. I can hide the negatives. Mask them and hide them. All is fine...!

.... I'm on the mend. I have faith!

Sorry to hear you had a difficult day and that life seems a struggle at the moment.

Hang in there. (Here I was thinking that my goat memes and shoe throwing, would help !)

Aww. Thanks. You are such a blessing.

I have a games console that plays a free game but I am addicted to it. Ok, it helps me in that I can absorb myself in the game so I can block out other things. But I am concerned now because is it normal to just play a single racing car game almost non stop throughout the day? (Same game thing and game that I played on Lukes) I need to do other things but I sem to be hitting walls. I assumed that it was the last game system so I gave it away (PS2 with about 40-60 games (Most bought cheap as I bought the PS2 when PS3 came out so prices were good... I'm not stupid! Haha!)... But when I had no games console, I still hit these walls that prevent mw from finishing things, so I need to overcome that first.

Thank you.

Sounds like you maybe need to set yourself up with more of a balance in your day to day life. Change does seem to knock you sideways(which is no surprise in itself, considering it’s a known issue). We don’t all necessarily “need” a schedule, but in your case, it might just help break the cycle you’re in. eg. Maybe a plan whereby each day begins with a walk in nature, and then say, an hour focussing on sorting any chores/jobs you need to get done.

Then, reward yourself with a maximum of 30 mins - 1 hr of your racing game. Then, follow through with a schedule of whatever else would give your day that feeling of having achieved things. eg make further progress on your train layout, start on writing a few lines of that book you’ve been thinking of writing, start a simple journal detailing how you’re feeling, any goals or plans etc, with things you can plan and look forward to as the seasons change.

Breaking the cycle you find yourself in can be hard, especially when you’re feeling down. Baby steps ... Not allowing yourself to play the racing game until you’ve done A,B & C and then rewarding yourself might help. The aim is that you feel a sense of achievement by the end of each day, therefore, more content.

Well, you're welcome...but honesty dictates I admit I spoke out of self-interest. I enjoy your posts.

And about wasting time...yeah, me too. I try to finish (or at least make good progress on) at least one thing each day but I get distracted. Or, talking to you should I say: side-tracked? And the one activity I most want to be doing and which is the most Aspie thing I'm doing will take years to finish and is of questionable usefulness--but it does make me feel good.

I do need to discipline myself. Not easy though.

Discipline helps.

I took a course where they said businesses could do things better if they just tracked stuff...apparently just tracking stuff tends to magically improve it--that might work for people, too, I guess.

Inspiration works best, I suspect. I'm most likely to make progress if I can get into the right mood when I dive into it.

And, shouldn't you be asleep now? It's pretty late there, right? I think I have to wander off, myself.

P.S. I know you're still awaiting an assessment, but you sure sound like a kindred spirit to me. Aspies and I guess most auties are said to often have executive functioning issues...isn't that what we're talking about? Be patient and try to enjoy the assessment when you get it. Remember two things: (1) Usually they assess children, so parts of the assessment might be "entertaining"; and (2) The worst thing that can happen is they tell you that you are Normal.

I think that most people with ASD likely feel like you do.
Life can be hard, especially the more isolated you are.

There are ways to break up the isolation. For example, you could join an activity club.
If you can think of an area or interest that you enjoy.

Over the years, i have belonged to martial art clubs, which i have found enjoyable.
Martial Art practice involves social interaction but in a disciplined manner, where you
don't have to necessarily interact in depth.

That is just one example.

Even hanging out in coffee shops can help you develop social interaction and friendships.

I also like playing console games, but try and leave playing console games to the end of the day.
For relaxation, to unwind, and entertainment.

Try and do other productive things in the day time, such as go to the gym.
Maybe study for an hour or two. Play guitar for a bit. etc.

Having a routine can help not only reduce the stress but help you make steady progress in some areas,
or perhaps even several areas.

Getting into study etc. can help you fend off the loneliness. Keep your mind stimulated on other things.

I have been where you are mountain goat still kinda am. I distract myself from everything around me. The way you distract yourself right now isn't the worse. If you feel like it's helping you stay fine keep it, but only for rewards. Ok? And you are valued here just like the other W.P.U said. Just keep putting one foot infront of the other. And keep your head up.

MG, you can DO IT.

Thanks for replies. When younger was involved in a cycling club and model railway club but cycling club I joined on rides rather then the socializing part of it. When the cycling club was open and no rides (E.g. for socializing whatever that means!), I did not go.
The model railway club I enjoyed. We did not have many members. I think about 15 if we all turned up (Rare. Only on an annual general meeting would we all be there). My Dad used to take me. We stopped going when the club moved to a different area which was further away. Was about 25 years ago.