Autism planned community

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Living in a co-op situation would be a nightmare, to me, and a lot of people on the spectrum, imo.
No f*****g thank you.

Yeah I think it's a great thing. People can live where they want and not be tethered to a specific office. So with freedom to choose where to live, I'd prefer to be in closer proximity to people I'm more likely to form connections with than live out my days feeling like an isolated space oddity.

A co-op is more or less a themed apartment complex. It is not a single shared space with a communal delegation of labor, ie it is not a co-house or commune. Each person has their individual unit. There is as much or as little interaction with others as desired. Co-ops allow for an admissions and selection process.

What about this is an effing nightmare? I feel like living in a normal apartment living situation is an effing nightmare where there is a "social ambassador" who organizes building wide activities that I have zero desire to participate in because the people in the building are generally way too normal and I have absolutely no interest or commonality with them and can so easily be pegged as unfriendly because I would very much prefer no one to talk to me in the hallways or when I'm getting mail.

Ah? Can you further explain this?

I misunderstood what a co-op was. I thought it was like a commune situation.

So, correction:

"Living in a commune situation would be a nightmare, to me, and a lot of people on the spectrum, imo.
No f*****g thank you. "

You are a young person, so socialising is important to you.
I am almost twice your age, so I prefer my solitude, BIGTIME!

I would prefer cottages on a large wildlife type parkland where they are spaced out so there is at least a few football pitches from each other where I can let nature grow and yet I have access to small shops. I could if I had some help with the tax things and things I don't like, run a small shop, but I need to come home in a "Me" place after as I would be masking to do that job, and yet at home I can unmask.

But a type of scenic wilderness area so I can do what I like without criticizm, but not so isolated that I can't nip out to buy things when I need to etc.

If you allow a football pitch per person, very few will be walking distance from a store, and it will have very poor selection and prices.

Yes I feel like most of the people adverse to the idea made the same mistake.

I have lived in two separate communal-type living situations and yes it was absolutely a goddamn nightmare both times. It was fine for about a week where I could pretend to enjoy 24/7 togetherness with people who I legitimately felt no connection to or shared any similar interests. With additional time it became clear to others I preferred isolation to their company, which created all sorts of unnecessary havoc. I eventually started eating alone in addition to avoiding forced socialization and this is when things really started to unravel. I attempted to explain how it isn't anything personal if I just prefer my solitude it isn't something for anyone to take personally. Oh but they did. And retaliated. No longer was I self-excluding, I was being excluded. When all you have is maybe 12 people in a secluded environment, it started to become overbearingly oppressive.

I would never under any circumstances attempt to relive or recreate that experience.

On the contrary. A co-op would not necessarily be in a secluded location. Members could have as much or as little interaction with the broader world as they like. Just the 100+ members of their apartment building (I'm going to refer to it like this occasionally to break from the assumption that I'm talking about a commune) happen to have a fairly major commonality. For those on the spectrum who would like to feel less ostracized and excluded by the world. So going back to the dorm comparison I made earlier - out of roughly 500 normal people, 1-3 were okay enough to form friendships with. Out of 100 or so people with similar levels of autism, chances are good that 1-3 of them will be people to form friendships with. Friendships are an important force in life and strong indicator of both physical and emotional health. Again, I would not conceive of any forced social interactions, just the odds would be reasonably high that people would form friendships in an apartment building like this.

Last edited by adromedanblackhole on 24 Nov 2020, 9:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NTs are often offended if someone doesn't want to interact with them.
They take is personally, and since they tend to work on an emotional level, rather than a rational one, they become resentful.

It isn't a problem, for me, these days, bc I am a virtual hikikomori through choice.

I don't mwan the store has those spaces. I mean the spaces between the cottages.

I know. Very few cottages spaced like that would be close to the store. That's about the spacing of subsistence farms, a very monotonous situation pre-internet. Often, instead of living on their land, smallholders would gather in a village for convenience in visiting and helping each other, as well as mutual protection. In general, humans tolerate crowding.

There were numerous ideas similar that pops up from time to time.


And in context, there's just something missing between our exchanges -- as I said, I live in a different world.

I have different ideas of what spaces are, and what socialization and groups looked like.
It's a blended mess, nothing is clear cut at the same time it is discernable. Hard to describe into words.

I have a sense of what you're saying. I do not feel as firmly grounded in this world either. I just know that I would find greater meaning in life being in a closer physical proximity to people who can share similar thoughts to those expressed above.

I think Mountain Goat's version of the concept is closest to what I would want.

I might reform it to a walkable small town with a central business district (probably just the main street) with residences surrounding it. Multi-occupant buildings (apartments, co-ops, and such) would likely be close to the main street. Individual homes with enough land for a garage and a shed/workshop/greenhouse would be on side streets, and further out would be small farms. And there should be some parks. That is, just a typical small town.

Such towns already exist...except they are full of NTs. If a number of auties happened to pick the same town to move to then it might be possible to get local services tailored for their needs. (Some areas do that for the elderly, for instance.) The town would still be primarily NTs, but if enough auties lived there the town might be more likely to accommodate them.

Maybe such a small town with a disproportionate number of auties could be consistent with the original co-op concept and with Mountain Goat's concept. Some auties could go for the apartments or co-ops. I would want a house near the fringe of the town. And some would want to be in the general area of the town but out in the nearby countryside.^{But, I probably shouldn't name Mountain Goat by name.}

Decades ago I went to college and lived in the dorms.          I h a t e d it!

I really do think we are misunderstanding something here.

My choice is also the opposite of the whole point of this post; In terms of socialization, don't limit myself.

Sure the whole idea would make my life easier and fulfilled in some way, but I prefer something beyond that.
And when I said I came from a different world, I do not also mean as an autistic living in an NT world.


It also mean I grew up in a context where this whole paradoxical idea between respective individuals and respective groups.
And the messy concepts of identity, categorization, allegiances and socialization, also how to merge and un-merge -- those things are child's play.

I have a lot of ideas pertaining that. I really just don't have the words for it.