What are surprises?

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I always thought surprises were good things like, someone buying you something like a Wii or someone taking you to a place such as an amusement park or a to a movie, or to a fun place like a videogame arcade.

I remember I've always liked surprises but I have been told by my mother I don't like them so I decided at 17 I guess it depends what they are then because I have liked surprises my parents have done such as my mother taking me to a play when I was 12, them taking us to a fair in Portland after my brothers and I came home from school one day. My school doing fun events such as the culture fair, my 5th grade teacher taking my class to the computer lab all day and doing computer games or surfing the internet, my special ed teacher having a imaginary person in our class and she would put stuff all over the classroom and say it was Patten Mike that did it. She would do it when all her students weren't in the classroom. We all beleived it was all real. I even loved Easter because my class would do dye eggs in the kitchen.


But it seems like what people call surpises are things like the power going out, a car accident up ahead so it makes you late, a tire popping on your car, etc. But does't everyone hate those surprises or is there a difference between aspies and NTs hating those?

I thought surprises meant the things I just mentioned above in bold. A surprise I loved in December was my work throwing me a away party. It was all a surprise because it was all planned and I thought I was just going in to work so I come to work in my uniform but instead I get told to come back in the breakroom and wait so i did and employees come in with the food and we all eat and I was given a gift as a goodbye present.

Good Surprise = Seeing that wind-up Routemaster that I've been wanting to buy, waiting for me at my local hobby store.

Bad Surprise = Finding out that a famous British person who was well-known in the 60s or 70s has passed away.

LOl, when I first started learning about AS, I remember thinking for some traits 'I can relate to/empathise with that' but for others 'how odd'. I could not relate to a few of the described traits because of the exact point you are bringing up likecalico - the clinical (or is it NT) means of describing the trait, communicated to me something different to what was actually meant. I often enjoyed/enjoy the kind of leisure/no pressure surprises of the class you have bold-highlighted in your post, although there often was/is (if I consider it) some uncertainty and insecurity in terms of processing the meaning of the surprise and knowing how to respond.

Personally I do not like surprises that require me to respond 'creatively' and instantaneously (ie to come up with a new plan - especially 'on the spot'). If I am passive in the surprise (someone else organises and directs things, and I am under no pressure to formulate 'the course forward') and my own plans/way of doing things are not expected to be altered, I'm not overly discomforted by surprises and can enjoy pleasant ones even with the accompanying uncertainty (in fact in such 'no pressure' cases, where whatever I do there will be no negative come-back, the uncertainty is kind of like a 'leisure thrill' akin to roller coaster or spooky movie thrills).

Genuine surprises... they still get me every time... when someone compliments me heartily lol. I just never expect it...

I guess it's tough to expect it when you're used to hardships and tricky situations...

Success still comes as a surprise to me... these days it seems to be about as common as the contrast... so I wonder if I can go one further and beat the contrast a bit more... and claim more success...

A surprise (as a noun) is something that you weren't expecting, but, in general, was planned by somebody else. Your examples in bold all match this description, like a surprise party, suprise trip, or surprise gift.

However, the other examples, such as the car accident or the power going out, were things that nobody planned, and are usually called accidents or mistakes.

It's possible to "be surprised" (as an adjective) by almost anything, planned, unplanned, or whatever. I can be surprised when the power goes out, even though nobody planned it for me. "And then the power went out. Yeah, that was a surprise!"

Actually, I guess a surprise can be anything that surprises you.

"Don't you look so surprised!
Happy Birthday, f***er!
You blow that candle out
We're gonna kick you, kick you!"
-Faith No More, Gentle Art of Making Enemies

Nobody likes unpleasant surprises, but I think what your mom meant was that you really don't like them. Typically, Aspies have a harder time dealing with unexpected changes in routine or improvising on the spot if something comes up. Pleasant surprises can usually cancel out the discomfort though, because who doesn't like a treat?

neato!

no problem with surprises and I have had mostly bad ones. I've been told I take things really well.

Well I had a unpleasent surprise this morning. I was on my way to the doctor appointment and I got stuck in a rush hour at 8:39 in the morning. It was very bad and I was having anxiety inside of me and I was saying inside "Come on come on." So I cut some time by trying to take the normal route I take to my appointment but thay was backed up too so I used the neighborhood to cut time and I pulled back onto the road near the stop light and after I crossed Powell Bvld. The traffic jam stopped and I made it to my appointment and had two minutes to spare. Wouldn't anyone get upset over that surprise if they had to be somewhere at a certain time? My shrink told me she gets stressed out too in traffic jams when she thinks she is going to be late for her appointments.

Good surprise:

Getting a card, a letter, or a special present from someone on the Siamese site I visit.


Bad surprise:

Finding out a good friend has committed suicide
Witnessing two car accidents on a single stretch of road

Good surprise...

Getting engaged hehe

Bad surprise...

Showing up interrupting my normal routine haha

_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated