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Self Hatred

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Earthbound_Alien
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21 Feb 2021, 10:25 am

I experience a lot of pressure from people and any support workers around me (including NHS staff) in the sense that they seem to expect me to hate myself because I am autistic. They constantly try to give me emotional support for my 'self-hatred' and can't undestand why I become upset because of this. They won't accept it when I say I don't feel this way.

I don't hate myself because I am autistic and I wouldn't want any other autistic person to hate themselves either. I tend to be humanitarian in my approach and have no prejudices against people with disabilities in general. I believe in taking a more self accepting, understanding and compassionate approach to life where possible.

Have you experienced anything like this and how would you go about dealing with it?



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21 Feb 2021, 2:16 pm

I think you are encountering Dunning-Kruger Syndrome - people who are so bad at their jobs that they can't tell they are bad at their jobs. They are probably saying that they wouldn't want to be like you, but they can't even imagine it. I try to ignore them, or to put the minimum effort into letting them think they did their jobs.



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21 Feb 2021, 2:35 pm

Well, I'm glad you don't hate yourself!

What to do with NTs that think you should? I don't know. Depending on your sense of humor and self-confidence, have fun with it?


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21 Feb 2021, 2:52 pm

I sometimes hate certain parts of myself when I am in certain emotional states. I have never had anyone try to help with self-hatred that is not present, though.


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naturalplastic
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21 Feb 2021, 5:42 pm

Hmmm...

They assume...that you suffer from self hatred.

So these well meaning support folks coach you NOT to feel that way.

But it never occurred to you TO feel that way in the first place.

Its good that you're innocent of self hatred. But its a paradox. Its hard to tell well meaning folks to shag-off.



shortfatbalduglyman
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22 Feb 2021, 9:14 am

Dear_one wrote:
I think you are encountering Dunning-Kruger Syndrome - people who are so bad at their jobs that they can't tell they are bad at their jobs. They are probably saying that they wouldn't want to be like you, but they can't even imagine it. I try to ignore them, or to put the minimum effort into letting them think they did their jobs.



Unconscious incompetence

Report them

If you can get different professionals you might want to

Otherwise just humor them



carlos55
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22 Feb 2021, 9:55 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
I experience a lot of pressure from people and any support workers around me (including NHS staff) in the sense that they seem to expect me to hate myself because I am autistic. They constantly try to give me emotional support for my 'self-hatred' and can't undestand why I become upset because of this. They won't accept it when I say I don't feel this way.

I don't hate myself because I am autistic and I wouldn't want any other autistic person to hate themselves either. I tend to be humanitarian in my approach and have no prejudices against people with disabilities in general. I believe in taking a more self accepting, understanding and compassionate approach to life where possible.

Have you experienced anything like this and how would you go about dealing with it?


Are you sure they actually said “they expect” you to hate oneself or are just looking out for you because of the link between autism and suicide?

Professionals have to tick certain boxes by regularly asking patients questions in mental health as it’s part of their job.

Have you had suicidal thoughts, every self harmed for example.

They wouldn’t be doing their job properly if they didn’t and who’s to say the other person answers differently and is a risk to themselves?


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22 Feb 2021, 2:01 pm

You may asked them if you can review your own medical records.

if someone made a notation once of an observation of self-hatred, it may be following you around.

Erroneous information is almost impossible to eliminate once it gets recorded. However, it can influence future treatments such that you could even get a wrong medication or even hospitalized in error.



Earthbound_Alien
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22 Feb 2021, 3:28 pm

carlos55 wrote:
Earthbound_Alien wrote:
I experience a lot of pressure from people and any support workers around me (including NHS staff) in the sense that they seem to expect me to hate myself because I am autistic. They constantly try to give me emotional support for my 'self-hatred' and can't undestand why I become upset because of this. They won't accept it when I say I don't feel this way.

I don't hate myself because I am autistic and I wouldn't want any other autistic person to hate themselves either. I tend to be humanitarian in my approach and have no prejudices against people with disabilities in general. I believe in taking a more self accepting, understanding and compassionate approach to life where possible.

Have you experienced anything like this and how would you go about dealing with it?


Are you sure they actually said “they expect” you to hate oneself or are just looking out for you because of the link between autism and suicide?

Professionals have to tick certain boxes by regularly asking patients questions in mental health as it’s part of their job.

Have you had suicidal thoughts, every self harmed for example.

They wouldn’t be doing their job properly if they didn’t and who’s to say the other person answers differently and is a risk to themselves?


People just repeatedly keep giving me support or consoling me for it even though I keep telling them I don't need it. They just say I am not aware of it. I am aware and find that it upsets me because they expect me to beat myself up for odd reasons. I cannot cope with their perfectionism. It is also not a very compassionate or understanding approach and is highly prejudice in its nature. I do not hate myself for not being perfect or for being autistic.

I don't feel anyone should hate themselves for being autistic.

They will also do it when I have a meltdown or shutdown at a time when I either cannot process it or wish to be alone.