Does wanting some company...

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Or someone to go out and enjoy doing fun things with make me narcissistic?

I have been accused by individuals of needing a narcissistic supply because I desire a mate/companion to spend some time with. I don't understand this as I am not seeking their admiration or similar, I would just like to find someone whose company I enjoy.

Granted I can tend to like my alone time, and there are some activities I prefer to do by myself, but I would still like to find someone to enjoy some activities with as well.

Has anyone else had a similar accusation made against them and does it seem weird to you that some individuals believe that the only reason a human would want to interact with other humans only to fulfill their ego based tendency to need to be worshiped???

For me needing company that I enjoy has nothing to do with being worshipped, so I am confused by this.

Also if I try to talk to anyone about my frustration with not having anyone to spend time with or any bonds in my life, they seem to want me to take emotional support for my self hatred.

I don't have self hatred. I don't have extreme self love either as I am not egoist by nature. I am not ego dominated and my need for company/love/bonds etc has nothing whatsoever to do with ego or self esteem. My biological yearning for such continues on unfulfilled and rather than turning into self loathing it turns to pure frustration. Which then can cause a meltdown when I can't find anyone whom understands.

I am not looking for an evening of help with my self hatred, I was looking for someone to go and do fun things with....

I can't make them understand what I am looking for and that I am having difficulty finding it.

I can totally relate. In my case, they don't accuse me of needing "narcissistic supply" but instead they are accusing me of "dwelling in details". As in, they don't even realize that what I am talking about is feeling emotionally starved. They think that I am just analyzing details for the sake of analyzing details -- as autistic people presumably do. And it really hurts because I feel like I have real emotional need and it is not being heard.

I think what they do to you and what they do to me is similar in a sense that they substitute valid emotional need for something they read in a psychiatric manual. In your case they look up the symptom of narcissism in my case they look up the symptom of Asperger.

What hurts the most is that they know perfectly well that both they themselves as well as all of their friends have a need for validation too, and in those cases they regard it as perfectly valid. But they refuse to say that for you and me it is as valid since they deny your humanity and mine, or at least it feels that way.

I am confused by this too.

Don't most humans want company?

I don't think wanting company makes you a narcissist. It makes you...social?

Earthbound_Alien - consider the source.

These kinds of nonsensical formulations about mental health and emotional/social needs suggest some kind of perceptual weirdness in the person making them. I don't mean you should avoid those people, but it's okay if you just shrug your shoulders and tell them "Different strokes, for different folks," then refuse to discuss the matter further.

I think wanting the company of others is pretty normal, not that I'm an expert on normal.

To say it's narcissistic to "want some company" is an absolute absurdity.

An example of extending the meaning of "narcissism" beyond the pale.

Having meaningful relationships with our fellow humans is a psychological need among all people (as far as I know). Studies on isolation show that people start to suffer pretty quickly when deprived from all human contact, that's why solitary confinement is harmful for example. So no, you're definitely not narcissistic for wanting some company. Although I will say that expressing that you feel lonely pretty much always results in either shallow sympathy or dismissal and nothing else. Unless you are close to someone, they usually don't want to deal with your emotional baggage. I think that's why they reacted negatively if you expressed feeling lonely and/or a desire for companionship. That's just from my personal experience. It comes off as "desperate".

I also enjoy social company. I don't think it makes me a narcissist.

Pretty extreme definition of narcissism

To be honest I don't think wanting company makes you a narcissist, in fact I believe it makes you the opposite. You want to reach out and want to spend time with other people and this is totally normal. Everyone at some point craves company. Some people crave more company and like having many friends and others may prefer a smaller group or very few friends at all. None of this makes you a narcissist.

I find it very odd someone would come to the accusation that one would only want friends to be worshipped. To me that concept doesn't make any sense at all.

I think they are just misinterpreting her signals. They know that wanting company is a good thing, but they don't know that this is actually what she wants. She does X, Y and Z in order to seek company, but they think that her motivation for doing X, Y and Z is something else entirely. Basically they have no clue that X, Y and Z has anything to do with wanting a company, while to her it is self-evident that it does, so there is that huge disconnect there.

It happens to me a lot as well, just in a different form. Like I might talk a lot about who said what and when. The reason I do that is that I feel like there was some misunderstanding that causes emotional distance, so I want to address that misunderstanding in order to be emotionally close again. But others have no idea that it has anything to do with emotions. They just think I like to argue for the sake of arguing. I once asked somebody "what would have happened if I were to clarify that the reason that I argue is that my feelings were hurt". She said "yes this would have helped". And I said "and wasn't it self evident that my feelings were hurt?" Apparently not to her.

If you came from a place where being friendly and actively trying to be social is deem suspicious...

Yeah, that's how it can be viewed. Especially if it's forced.
Viewed as some premeditated scheme to break a person's guard down, gain that person's trust to get whatever motive interpreted as.

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