getting "you are the only one to ask me that" type responses

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Have you ever gotten the (somewhat snarky) comment of "you are the only one to ask me that / the only one to ask me to clarify that / etc." in response to asking for clarity on some instruction or statement or such??

I've gotten this on email, not just face-to-face where nonverbal is involved - which leads me to believe that it's not just my Aspie handicap of lack of nonverbal fluency that is seamless coupled with Theory of Mind, given a situational context. (Sigh, the bane of our existence!!)

Personally, I find it to be passive-aggressive, and "othering" language rubbed in your face

I think the best response you could give to that is a disarming one, a rhetorical question that puts THEM in the hot seat, e.g. "OK...what was the point of telling me that I was the only one to ask that / ask for clarification?" and if there's silence for a few seconds, you could follow up with "what exactly does that accomplish??"

IF you play it right, then they - and others around them - will see THEM as the rude one, not you.

I've gotten those types of responses. I usually tell them that being snarky won't magically make me understand what they were getting at, and that if they don't want me to ever have to ask someone such a stupid question again that they should just clarify what I asked them to so I understand it and don't have to ask people anymore.

"Yeah yeah yeah . . . . now I'm going to repeat the question s l o w l y for you so you can understand . . . . "

I have a client at the moment whom I'm finding is not on the same wavelength as me. His response to my questions is along the lines of, "as we already discussed it should do x,y,z." It's not just me. He does this to my colleague too.

He seems to think he's ace at explaining things and when we want clarification he passive aggressively tells us he's already told us.

This is the good thing about project work. When it's over I never need to see him again. I'm counting down the days.

Some people just get irrationally angry about explaining things in more detail. I don't know why.

The way I deal with those types is by telling them that the only stupid question is the one that's not asked.

Yup, it's not worth the hassle. Thankfully my bosses haven't been too difficult over the years. Most issues have been mild.

In one job I was asked to pick up the morning paper on my way to work everyday. And after a few months my boss decided he didn't want it anymore, but said. "Oh would you give it a rest with the paper," like I should have been a mind reader and known he didn't want it anymore weeks ago.

And they say we can't communicate...

Yes, and I find it hilarious.

But then the social rules, the systems (in which are less reliable), even layers of language comprehension here do not work the same way.

Save for the human fundamentals, the majority's instincts and expected levels of internal regulation to afford hostile environments.

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