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JourneyFan
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06 Jan 2022, 6:04 pm

I actually don't care because it was making me so stressed that it was causing me physical issues as well as anxiety. However, now I am at home all day every day I am feeling very disorientated and I can't seem to focus on anything. I don't know what I want to do. I am trying to find a focus but it's difficult.
I don't have a long term special interest - these have always changed over time so I'm trying to find something to do to keep my mind occupied but I don't know what and I feel very restless. I am completely out of sync with my life right now and there is no routine since I am not working. It is giving me the chance to do things like clean my house, do some household chores etc but I have trouble with getting started on things like that in the first place. Today I have been very irritable and short tempered.

Also I had my first ASD assessment yesterday and I am worried that my mood may affect the outcome because I wasn't in the right frame of mind due to this disorientation (I may have come across as being depressed and that's just not me generally). I did tell the psychologist that I had lost my job and he said he thought I didn't seem to be in the same mood as last time we spoke (which was last month for an ADHD assessment).

I guess I just need some advice here if anybody has any suggestions. Thank you in advance.



txfz1
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06 Jan 2022, 6:28 pm

The work separation, loss of routine, assessment interviews is a lot of stress. I'd be in a meltdown with depression as my coping. Take care of yourself.



JourneyFan
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06 Jan 2022, 6:47 pm

txfz1 wrote:
The work separation, loss of routine, assessment interviews is a lot of stress. I'd be in a meltdown with depression as my coping. Take care of yourself.


Thank you.



autisticelders
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07 Jan 2022, 6:57 am

self care always first. Use your best comfort rituals and take your time to sort all those emotions, this seems like it must be a super stressful time for you, to deal with major life changes and an assessment in progress at the same time, let alone all the every day worries and stresses of just living life. Rest up and build your emotional resources by trying not to over do anything right now. It will take time for things to settle and for you to "get your feet back under you" metaphorically. Cheering you on.


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SharonB
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07 Jan 2022, 7:22 am

Right there with you. I'm okay and I'm not okay. I'm okay if I am "free" to do what I want, but I am completely angsty without "direction". What to do, what to do. And yet so much to do. I've only brushed my teeth a handful of times since working from home then leaving my job. I tried establishing a new routine for that. Hasn't work. I am very happy doing my special interest and working on proverbial trees, but everything else and the proverbial forest is looming and uncomfortable. My partner tells me: All in good time. I wish somebody would simply hand me the great thing I am going to do next, but apparently, I am supposed to direct my life, but there are too many directions I could go and all require multiple steps. So I am just hanging out in the intersection for a (long) while. My therapist suggests in a meditative like way (EMDR) facing my fears and "resourcing" (envisioning positive outcomes). That's nice and all for immediate relief, but I'm still not moving forward in a direction.

How much time do you have to "loiter" between jobs?



timf
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07 Jan 2022, 7:24 am

It has been said, "Make a job out of getting a job". What is meant is that if you approach looking for a job like you were working for an employer, you can make more progress. However, there can be additional benefits.

1. Keeping a routine like setting up a day's worth of activity can keep your sleep cycle on track.
2. Applying in person (like asking the receptionist if they are doing any hiring) for some jobs can be an adventure if nothing else.
3. Applying for jobs outside of your experience might open up opportunities.
4. You can visit the local library to see newspaper ads as well as those from other towns.
5. Consider working for a temp agency as you might find a place you like that would like to hire you full time.



JourneyFan
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07 Jan 2022, 9:15 am

SharonB wrote:
Right there with you. I'm okay and I'm not okay. I'm okay if I am "free" to do what I want, but I am completely angsty without "direction". What to do, what to do. And yet so much to do. I've only brushed my teeth a handful of times since working from home then leaving my job. I tried establishing a new routine for that. Hasn't work. I am very happy doing my special interest and working on proverbial trees, but everything else and the proverbial forest is looming and uncomfortable. My partner tells me: All in good time. I wish somebody would simply hand me the great thing I am going to do next, but apparently, I am supposed to direct my life, but there are too many directions I could go and all require multiple steps. So I am just hanging out in the intersection for a (long) while. My therapist suggests in a meditative like way (EMDR) facing my fears and "resourcing" (envisioning positive outcomes). That's nice and all for immediate relief, but I'm still not moving forward in a direction.

How much time do you have to "loiter" between jobs?


I'm not sure how much time. I didn't work for years as I was bringing up two children with ASD and I was still a carer for my youngest child until I worked. They are both young adults now.
So this was my first job really. Every time I look at jobs, I get anxiety. I was told by my boss that I shouldn't work in a customer service role in future as I am not good with people. There are not many jobs out there that don't involve working with customers. I have been thinking of starting up my own small business but I don't know what I am good at. I might wait and see if I get a diagnosis, and if so, then I will see if there is any career help for people with ASD. But if they say I do not have ASD, then I am worried there will be no assistance at all for me.



autisticelders
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08 Jan 2022, 6:05 pm

Something that helped me find the right kind of job was a book called "what color is your parachute" which was updated for new job search techniques for several years. There was a self assessment part for the first half, then advice on job seeking, writing resumes, etc in the second part. the first part helped me see all the skills I had and which ones I enjoyed using the most. this led to me doing better in my job searches by matching my skills and strengths with what was available. Not every job has to be a career, there are lots of jobs that pay decent money for routine work such as stocking shelves, cleaning, doing paperwork, caretaking of homes, children, animals, pets, houseplants, etc. There are jobs as cooks or bakers, plumbers, electricians, cable installers, etc which are all more "hands on" and most customer skills are left to the front office. If the primary focus of the job is to get money to live on, those service sorts of jobs can be just right. I think there are places on the internet for skills assessment tests and question forms to help give us insights into our best strengths and weaknesses, it might be useful to take a little time to work through a few of those before putting in applications. I worked for 50 years and was always able to find a job, though I went through many of them, even worked 2 or 3 at a time sometimes when we needed $$$. In today's job market, there will be something out there for almost any level of job skills. Sending best wishes.


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SharonB
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08 Jan 2022, 6:08 pm

I read a fiction book called the "10 year nap" which our situations remind me of. I've continued working but I was definitely "baby tracked".

ASD folks can do customer-facing roles---and be great at it--- more so if they roles are specialized and/or in a supportive environment. My ASD mom was fantastic at customer service but didn't last b/c the company measured quantity and most ASD folks do best when quality is a larger component. I am customer-facing --- as a subject matter expert (SME). My customers very much respect my work, while business meals remain awkward. What's a few sufferable social moments next to reliable, outstanding work? My customers prefer me to Joe Slick.

In an online ASD support group (for women 40+) there was one woman who owned her own business - it was communications related. As you know, pros and cons to business ownership or otherwise. Most of us worked for a company which is fantastic when the workgroup is supportive and fairly awful otherwise. My ASD neighbor is using her expertise of vintage toys to create a business.

I have "slow rolled" my job search due to anxiety. Plus while the pandemic supplies health insurance I don't have necessity. It's definitely been hard or painful to do the job search thing, but like child birth I have to think it will be worthwhile. One can hope.