Are you a conversation starter or joiner?

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

username88
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,820

10 Sep 2007, 11:15 pm

I know a lot of us dont really have a life or friends per se, but by now from posting on the forums and from at least having fellow aspie friends you should know by now. I generally find it much harder to start a conversation then join them. Ive learned that pretty much just from going to school and having to interact with people though. Its not one of my strengths by any means but I think you know what I mean. It makes it a lot easier to start conversations on the board here though, cause you can retype/edit what your gonna say before people see it :wink:



2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,277

10 Sep 2007, 11:25 pm

Well, on a good day I will edit and reedit in my head. I guess I do both, join and start. My problem is stopping it when I want, etc... I now that doesn't sound very Aspie, but I stll remember all the timing problems, etc... I still may hear something and take it the wrong way, etc...



GoatOnFire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,986
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts

10 Sep 2007, 11:26 pm

I do both. I'm not sure which one I'm better at. I suck at both.


_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?


makelifehappen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 532
Location: Toronto

10 Sep 2007, 11:39 pm

Quite alot easier to start and join a conversation when it is of interest to you...

I generally make attempts to interact socially and quite like company and having a chat (on my own terms & agenda). Only I have definitely been accused of showing little interest in others. Since then, I have made efforts to ask, prompt & inquire about other's lives, interests, opinions, etc, even if/when I genuinely could care less about those things... :oops:

Over the past couple of years I have become less and less interested in interacting with my real world friends and more and more keen to chat online. I have the ability to express myself here, without fear of rejection, misunderstanding, need to impress, etc I am nameless and faceless. I don't have to prove myself, answer to or fake with anyone and best of all, I don't have to look you in the eye! :lol: :lol:

Words just flow and I can, as you said, read and reread, delete, edit, spend nine hours constructing if I must and you absolutely will most definitely get the REAL me...more than anyone I know in the real word will ever know...

So, that said, I am a quiet observer. I am a sponge. I soak it all up and get in where I can fit in, but otherwise keep my mouth shut :wink:

In the real world, there is no place for my eccentric honesty, intense morality, obsessive interests & social obscurities that will most certainly be misinterpreted, but here...the only misinterpretations should be based on my lack of tone because the people I tend to gravitate towards online, will ALMOST always have a common interest!


_________________
It isnt a programming error, it is an operating system...


11 Sep 2007, 3:39 am

I do both. I start them with my family and my boyfriend and guys I meet but with strangers, they usually start them and if I am not so shy, I will keep talking and bam there is a conversation going. I rarely join in on conversations now because I am afraid of people getting mad at me because back in high school, kids get mad at me when I join in on their conversations. Is that another reason why we aspies are bad in social skills? Because the NTs won't let us be social?